These Polite Words And Phrases Reduce Your Importance - Image, Society

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

Throughout childhood, we hear from parents, older relatives, teachers calls to be polite. Even completely outsiders consider themselves entitled to teach children to be respectful. "A kind word is worth nothing, but it brings a lot," "Don't pity your" thank you ", but don't wait for someone else's. Why, in modern society, courtesy is sometimes taken for weakness and spinelessness? Let's see what kind of polite words and in which case can put you in a vulnerable position in relation to the interlocutor, cause his irritation? What phrases reduce your importance?

1. Not for anything, not worth gratitude, it's okay

They want to politely thank you for your service, work done, care or nice words, and you automatically give something like this in response. It would seem, what's wrong with that? Think about it, you are directly devaluing your efforts, time and yourself at the same time. If everything you have done or said is nothing (not for anything) and is not worth gratitude in your own opinion, why would anyone else see value in it?

Next time, try to pause for a second before using your familiar pattern. Depending on the context, gratitude can be answered differently: “(Always) please”, “I was glad (was) to help”, “Thank you”.

2. Sorry. I apologize

If you've really hurt or hurt someone else, it's worth making an apology and trying to make up for it. It's another matter when you use these words constantly, as if making excuses for the very fact of your existence. "Excuse me, can I come in?", "I apologize for disturbing you," "Excuse me, I’m just a minute."

There is no need to abuse these phrases without a good reason, so you put yourself in an unequal position, as if giving yourself to the will of the interlocutor, recognizing his power to "execute or pardon." This is perceived by others as self-doubt or even servility and can cause a wide range of negative emotions: from subtle discomfort to disgust.

Analyze how often and why you apologize

It is quite possible that you think that you have a lot of reasons to ask for forgiveness, since you really were guilty of everything and everywhere. Think if you are taking on too much responsibility for the failures of loved ones, constantly feeling guilty for their bad mood?

Or maybe you think that you could somehow prevent unwanted events in their lives if you tried better? In this case, this is not a reason to constantly repent, but a real reason to turn to a psychologist who will help you deal with the total sense of guilt and relieve yourself of the burden of responsibility for all the problems of this world.

3. Thank you, thank you

Words of gratitude and appreciation can also become a kind of "parasite" in speech. “Thank you” for criticism and comments from the boss, “Thank you, thank you” as an attempt to end the conversation, repeated repetition of these words in response to a minor service or compliment. Most likely, the reason is the desire to appear as a nice, safe, non-conflict person, but this can demonstrate your self-doubt.

You assign the other to the role of the stronger one, and you have to place yourself in a weak, dependent position. As if an action or a compliment towards you is very rare, and you are grateful for any attention, even criticism. Words lose their value from frequent meaningless repetition, try to notice if you are not talking about gratitude formally or “automatically”?

4. Would you be so kind. Could you…

According to Occam's behest, "you should not multiply entities unnecessarily." Using the “not” particle, we seem to try to soften the wording of the request, but in fact we clutter up the speech. Thus, “please do” turns into “won't you be so kind”, and you again involuntarily find yourself in the position of a person doubting your right to help. The message that starts with “not” hides a willingness to refuse, which does not add weight to your position, but to you confidence.

Respectful and tactful communication, a willingness to compromise and a calm perception of opposing points of view is a skill that every mature person must master.