Table of contents:
- New Year is “new” for that, which implies the emergence of something that has not yet existed. This is a symbolic boundary separating one stage of life from another. It is no coincidence that it has become the most popular holiday - we need a similar symbol that sums up the results, and therefore facilitates personality change
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New Year is “new” for that, which implies the emergence of something that has not yet existed. This is a symbolic boundary separating one stage of life from another. It is no coincidence that it has become the most popular holiday - we need a similar symbol that sums up the results, and therefore facilitates personality change
Human life can be compared to a spiral: it consists of coils.
1. The beginning of each loop is a period of chaos. Old hobbies cease to please, goals lose their meaning, past contacts seem not so interesting … This is a difficult stage, it brings anxiety, a feeling of emptiness, then despair and even meaninglessness of life. Such deep questions as “Who am I?”, “Where am I going?”, “Why?” Arise, and the previous answers are no longer satisfied. For example, if I used to sit at home with a small child, now the role of "mother" is not enough.
In psychology, such a state is called an existential crisis, and this is an integral part of our life, a turning point through which we need to go.
2. This is followed by the middle of the cycle, and the answers to these questions are found: for example, now I am primarily a "specialist", I am interested in professional growth. The child went to kindergarten, I returned to work.
Other goals arise, relationships are rebuilt, life again becomes stable and measured. The mood rises, the emotional background is fairly even. The world seems clear and understandable.
3. But the end of this stage is near. Gradually a feeling of dissatisfaction, anxiety arises … This is the threshold of a new spiral.
The role of a "specialist" is gradually no longer satisfying, and soon it will be time again to look for an answer to the question "Who am I?" A new round will begin.
Personal development is impossible without transitions from turn to turn. But they usually go away rather painfully. As the python Kaa said: "It is hard to shed your skin."
Moreover, any transformation is irreversible. The butterfly will never become a chrysalis again. And we will not be children either. And this is sometimes scary and sad …
Therefore, changes can cause internal resistance. And, alas, it is possible to get stuck at some of the stages.
But it is necessary to go through this stage to the end - this is the only way to accomplish personal growth. If it gets stuck, development stops, the natural course of things is disrupted. After all, no matter how frightening the world is, no matter how good and safe it is in the womb, the child must sooner or later leave her, and forever. And getting stuck in the birth canal will only worsen the situation …
At the same time, transformation is, first of all, internal changes. External ones come a little later and will be their consequence, although this is not always obvious. For example, if there is a willingness to fall in love, then there will be an object. Remember Pushkin's Tatiana?
But excessive concentration on external changes suggests that internal changes do not occur and the person is stuck at some stage. There is no internal movement, the development has stopped - and this is compensated for by flickering outside. These include:
- an irrepressible passion for repair or at least simply rearranging furniture in an apartment;
- frequent change of work, place of residence, social circle, hobbies;
- more and more novels - non-stop;
- constant travel, sometimes even vagrancy;
- excessive external activity - going to work or entertainment …
A person is constantly changing something outside - although in reality he wants metamorphosis within himself. There is a so-called substitution, for example, a housewife can constantly change curtains, although in fact she is not satisfied with the marriage. She is not ready to change something in herself and in her relationship with her husband - it is easier to buy new curtains from time to time …
The development of addiction also speaks of being stuck, no matter what kind - it can be alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, Internet addiction …
Celebrating the New Year is a ritual that helps to move from one round to the next. In one form or another, it is found in all traditions.
Please note: the holiday has two parts. First - seeing off the old year, and always with gratitude, no matter how difficult it may be, and only then - meeting the new one. Thus, the message is communicated to us: until you part with the old, the new cannot come into your life. It just won't fit - the place is taken … It is impossible to hang a new dress in the closet if it is stuffed with old rags.
Stopping in movement along the path of life is connected not only and not so much with the fear of letting in something new, unknown (and therefore potentially dangerous), but another theme sounds here: the inability to part with the old, complete, let go …
Take, for example, the balconies and mezzanines in our apartments that have already become the talk of the town. What rubbish has accumulated there over the years: from broken gramophone records to cracked flower pots, from Ogonyok magazine in 1975 to champagne corks from the year before last … But a house is a reflection of what is happening in our inner world. And while it is littered with the "past", the door for the "future" will not be able to open …
New Year's Eve is an excellent occasion to take stock and clear up space, external and internal. What can be done for this?
1. Look at old things: open the wardrobes, climb on the mezzanine … And evaluate - what is really needed from this, and what just takes up a place where something new could come. You yourself will be surprised what piles of excess are carried out of the apartments. And if it's a pity to throw it out, there are wonderful sections on the Internet for this case, "I'll give it for free" …
2. And in the same way, carry out an "inventory" inside: look through the accumulated grievances, fears, contacts … Maybe it's time to decide - what grievances it's time to part with? And what connections have lost their value and only stretch out of habit?.. It is more convenient to do this in writing, according to the scheme:
- at whom the resentment;
- what is connected with;
- do you want to part with her;
- what is in the way;
- how this obstacle can be overcome.
For example: resentment against your husband because he forgot about the wedding anniversary. I want to part with resentment, but fear interferes - “once I forgot, then I fell out of love”. In this situation, I can talk directly with him and clarify: is his forgetfulness really connected with this. There may be other reasons for this - men generally attach much less importance to dates than women, this is not an indicator of feelings …
3. You can also perform a symbolic ritual: for some time (several days or weeks - you will feel the exact timing) each time you leave the house, take out something and throw it away. It may be a trifle - even an empty jar of yogurt, the symbolism of this action is important for our unconscious.