Rake In A Relationship. 5 Popular Mistakes - Relations

Since childhood, we are surrounded by whole sets of rules that teach us to build healthy communications and achieve harmony in different relationships: love, friendship, business. It would seem that with such a reading of someone else's experience, we have every chance to avoid mistakes and bypass possible obstacles. But no, each of us steps on our own rake. Other people's stories, as a rule, do not matter here. You need to go your own way, understand your priorities and acquire your own unique experience. So what are the popular mistakes we make in relationships?

Any relationship begins about the same - a great start, coherence, mutual sympathy. It seems to us that this is exactly our person, we are pleasantly surprised that we have found such a close friend, with the same ideas, goals and views. For example, in a love relationship, this is a wonderful candy-bouquet period. But the period when identification with a partner occurs ends, the next chapter starts. And along with it, mistakes begin, sometimes leading to unpleasant consequences.

Favorite rake list

1. Hiding your real self

In trying to make the perfect impression on our partner, we somehow skillfully hide our flaws. We try to show ourselves better than we really are. But after a while we relax, lower the tone and, of course, reveal what was carefully hidden earlier. If we don't know how to be ourselves at any stage of the relationship, this is an occasion to think about our own self-esteem.

2. Overstating requirements

Your fantasies and ideas about relationships are just your thoughts. You may have come up with a beautiful picture of the future, but this does not mean that your partner should act according to your plan and meet your expectations. Especially when you don't tell him about it. He is a living person, with his own ideas about the future. And this is also a good picture, it's just different.

3. Trying to change your partner

The most popular mistake, the most important rake. Your partner has traits that annoy you. You endure, keep silent, but in your heart you hope to fix it. It turns out a vicious circle - the partner does not understand why you are so angry, and you, without talking to him about the problem, try to force him to do as you need. The fact is that the role of educator and parent is not yours here, and any attempts to remake your neighbor for yourself end in failure. If this is not a mutual decision and confidential conversation.

4. Ignoring personal boundaries

Being together doesn't mean being together 24 hours a day. Yes, this may have happened at the beginning of your relationship, but transformations are inevitable and complete identification with your partner will not lead to anything good. Becoming a shadow, sharing all your partner's hobbies and losing yours, you stifle love and behave aggressively. Each person has their own boundaries and they must be respected.

5. We constantly doubt

And by the way, this is intolerable behavior. You are afraid to say something wrong, to do something. You are looking for a second bottom in everything and successfully find it. Are you afraid of the evil eye, signs, Mercury retrograde and your own friends: what if all this will ruin your relationship? If your partner is tired or dissatisfied with something, you think that it is solely in you, and you begin to press and look for evidence of your suspicions. The problem is that your partner will regard your throwing and doubts solely as unwillingness to build relationships further.

Each of us goes our own way. With their own "rake" and experience. There is no relationship without mistakes, because there are no perfect people. But work on yourself, self-knowledge, sincerity and trust are able to neutralize possible annoying mistakes in a relationship.