How To Get Your Wife Back? Watching The Film "Divorce In French" With A Psychologist - Reviews

For a start - a little about the plot of the movie " French Divorce ". Kristen (Pascal Demolon), a successful conductor who has just been offered a contract in the States, after a farewell party makes a marriage proposal to the talented violinist Ariane (Geraldine Nakash). She agrees, but there is a slight hindrance - Arian is still formally married to Nino (Kim Rossi Stewart), a schoolteacher in a small Italian village. However, a simple formality for the registration of a divorce that has already actually taken place turns into Ariana's return to Nino

Divorce in French, 2015

Director: Dorothe Sebba

Cast: Geraldine Nakash, Kim Rossi Stewart, Pascal Demolon

Incomplete relationship

If we remove the comic surroundings, then from a psychological point of view we have a story about a typical "unfinished relationship" - when a strong emotional connection remained between partners. As a result, former partners formally still hope, usually unconsciously, to take revenge on each other, punish each other, return the opposite side, or in some other way get their share of emotional "compensation".

Many people know by themselves how delightfully they dreamed of how after some time they would meet their ex or ex, and it is imperative that “everything was fine with me”, and for him / her “everything did not work out”. I remember how one of my acquaintances with a triumphant air described the meeting with her “ex” a few years after a very difficult parting for her: “And I am sitting so, slender, cheerful, short skirt, and he stares at my feet.” In general, from the meeting, she left the feeling that she was avenged. And on this, as her fellow psychotherapists say, “her gestalt is closed,” she let go.

One of the first scenes of the film can be attributed to such "dreams come true" - the gorgeous appearance of Ariana with a cool groom in a convertible right in the middle of the provincial courtyard in which Nino lives. But then the traditional scenario did not work out.

The benefits of scandals

As a matter of fact, everything that happens next between Nino and Ariana is the usual showdown. Only in order to come to him, it took them several years to live separately.

Strange as it may sound, but scandals and quarrels bring together much more than the most romantic courtship. It is understandable if the scandal at the same time performs the function of relieving tension through clarifying the accumulated claims, and does not turn into a series of mutual humiliations, when the main goal is not to throw out the accumulated negative, but to hurt each other for a living. Well, if for such a conversation it is necessary to arrange a public stage - to your health. What, in fact, are Nino and Ariana doing in the middle of some Parisian lake.

By the way, these family showdowns of the main characters are set off by a wonderful scene with the farewell showdown between Kristen and Ariana right in the process of playing music. When, in a fit of jealousy, Kristen pushes the pace in Saint-Saens's Rondo Capriccioso, already one of the most virtuoso pieces in the violin repertoire. For readers who are far from performing subtleties, I will explain that translated into the language of ordinary relationships, this is practically tantamount to "rape" a soloist. So it is quite possible to say that Kristen finds a completely artistic way for a farewell explanation with Ariana.

How not to sleep with the "ex"

Apparently, with Kristen Ariana all the time feels “like on stage”, all the time she has to “correspond” to him (for all the seemingly democratic relations between musicians). Actually, they merge more in musical ecstasy than in everyday life. And in life, an alliance with Kristen is a complete responsibility. After the conductor's proposal, Ariana's life turns into a continuous and rather exhausting "race for luck".

No wonder, when a girl is next to Nino, she literally "exhales" and relaxes with pleasure. Because Nino is hers! And you don't need to shield yourself from him, even after several years of separation. Ariana is not at all shy about him - she runs out to him in peignoirs, undershirts, grabs food straight from the pan. The "ex" clearly does not feel that she "belongs to another man." As a result, Nino can only discredit her as a seducer by criticizing the pretentiousness of her combinations, devalue the entourage of passionate love, teasing Kristen's endless calls and his last name, and … praise the shape of her breasts.

It was then that she breaks through to clarify the relationship! A stormy scandal ends in the bedroom, and in a fit of intimate frankness, Ariana even promises to tell the conductor everything.

By the way, with an unfinished relationship, this is a fairly typical picture - sex with ex-husbands / wives. And why not sleep if you still have feelings, the partner is still perceived as a close person, and the barrier that appears along with a new serious relationship has not arisen? Rather, good reasons are needed to give up sex.

Automatic actions

Here comes another very important theme of the film - it looks like Ariana has matured to motherhood. And in this regard, Nino is almost an ideal option to combine the birth of a child with the continuation of a career. Moreover, he himself has long dreamed about it. Moreover, he is just the ideal of a modern "advanced" man - ready to work half a day, sit with children, change diapers and give his wife the opportunity to tour. In contrast, by the way, from Kristen, who, against the background of a new appointment to the American orchestra, is unlikely to think of sacrificing the work of his whole life so that his wife could continue her career.

No matter what feminists say, combining motherhood and career still remains a problem for the beautiful half of humanity. Simply because women still have to bear, give birth and feed. And this is time. In this regard, it is the figure of Nino that becomes especially attractive. So, at some point, the heroine also includes quite rational considerations. And voila! - yesterday's "ex" returns his wife, peace of mind, and even acquires bright plans for the future.

How does this relationship develop in real life? Unfortunately, such couples often run and scatter. Firstly, because of too much "spread" of desires - on the one hand, you want a simple home, and on the other, professional development. And secondly, even the main contradictions that have already led to a rupture often remain unresolved