Passion For The Shell. How To Learn To Accept Yourself - The Quality Of Life

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-11-27 12:13

The body, in a sense, is in opposition to our consciousness. When it comes to illusions about appearance and health, it quickly brings us back to reality. We are cold, hungry, hot, regardless of what we would like to think about it. It is rather difficult for a person to cope with the signals of his body shell. That is why many equate the degree of development of the "spirit" with the ability to cope with bodily impulses and accept the features of a biological device. Is it so?

On the one hand, the body "sets" the glide path of our development from rapid growth and increased opportunities to stagnation and decrepitude. It is in the body that the biological clock is located that ultimately leads us to certain death. On the other hand, the body today is a testing ground for a growing wave of new possibilities. The advances in medicine force serious scientists to talk about changing the very nature of man and about changing him, man, species characteristics.

UNDER THE PRESS OF MASS CULTURE

Today, problems with assuming their appearance arise largely under the influence of mass culture. It is no secret that now all kinds of glossy magazines, together with television and the Internet, rule by standards of beauty. Moreover, as a rule, the models for imitation imposed on the mass consciousness have nothing to do with the life reality of the overwhelming number of consumers of this product.

As a result, first, a standard of bodily beauty that is unreal from a physical and physiological point of view is created in the mass consciousness, and then, in the best traditions of political correctness and tolerance, mass movements are organized to overcome this very standard from a series of regular “dancing fatties”. That, in fact, only confirms the wretchedness of the theory of global uniformity of human standards. After all, “normal” for what is considered ugly in one culture, there is always another culture where the same manifestation will be called, if not beautiful, then quite acceptable. It's like with the amount of body fat on a man's body, which in Eastern cultures has long been considered a sign of material well-being and, accordingly,beauty - let us recall at least the "effeminate" body of the Buddha images or the fat figures of Hindu and Chinese deities by European standards. Not to mention the curvy bodies of oriental dancers.

LIKE - DO NOT LIKE

The concept of bodily beauty is also closely related to the concept of health. However, there are many examples when features of appearance were considered "beautiful", which rather indicate the ill health of their owner. Let us recall at least the fashion for “pale” female faces, which made the written beauties literally “drink vinegar”. Which, of course, did not add to their health.

Since a person forms self-esteem, relying on the opinions of others, then problems with assuming his appearance can begin at a rather tender age. We all know from school times some kind of "fat" child's character, regardless of gender, who was once teased by the efforts of the whole class. By the way, it is not at all necessary that a notorious adult will grow out of such a persecuted child. Because the ability to accept yourself for who you are is formed not only under the influence of classmates' attitude towards the child. Fortunately, there is a certain distance between “everyone likes me” and “I like myself”. And the degree of satisfaction with one's own appearance depends, among other things, on how different these concepts are for a person.

HAVE TO GET SMART

In general, the ability to accept objective reality in oneself is one of the most valuable for psychological well-being. Unfortunately, not everyone develops the ability to adequately assess their appearance, as a result, very beautiful girls who are internally convinced of their ugliness often come to see psychologists. But in the presence of this ability to critically evaluate and accept their appearance as they grow up, yesterday's "ugly ducklings" significantly increase the chances of improving their appearance. Simply because they turn out to be more successful and, accordingly, more prosperous than their peers spoiled by external attractiveness.

As one of my clients admitted, “as a child, I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that I had to become the smartest one”. Note that over the years, she successfully exceeded the set task, by the age of thirty she turned into a completely attractive, gradual and successful person in all respects. Simply because in the modern world, appearance tends to reflect the level of social success of its owner.

FLOW OF CHANGE

Our body is always changing, just at different rates and different degrees of our participation. It is formed not only by genetics, but also by labor. Just look at how a musician's hands differ from those of a loader. The violinist is able to use his ear to “measure out” a distance of several microns on the string with his fingertips. And the famous Odessa bindyuzhniki (port movers) at one time could measure their strength with a draft horse. And if during the period of childhood development we can fully influence its shape, but not the pace, then in the adult state we strive to increase the rate of change. And yet the main "injustice", perhaps, lies in the fact that, no matter what perfection you have achieved in physical development, with age you will inevitably decline, or even complete disappearance of your hard-earned abilities.

MATURITY BONUSES

With age, well-being comes to the fore, and not external beauty. The perception of your body here already directly depends on the state of health. Indeed, in the presence of health, age-related changes can bring advantages even in sexual life - a woman in menopause gains psychological freedom, which favorably affects her libido - it is not for nothing that the beaches of island resorts are filled with “mature” representatives of developed countries seeking sexual adventures. And a healthy man, in turn, is able to enjoy the joys of sexual life for a long time, since today not only social, but also medical barriers to long-term maintenance of potency have been removed.

On the other hand, accepting the fact that your own body is decrepit is a separate age problem. Because many are unable to come to terms with the growing limitations. After all, not all of us in old age resemble the mighty Michelangelo prophets and sibyls from the walls of the Sistine Chapel.

SPECIAL NEEDS

However, history knows many examples when the owners of a puny and sometimes completely helpless body demonstrated the most powerful fortitude and love of life. Stephen Hawking is worth mentioning among the examples closest to us. In Russian culture, there are similar characters, starting with Boris Kustodiev and Nikolai Ostrovsky. And yet the peak of "revolutionary" bodily changes falls on adolescence, in which, in fact, the psychological basis of self-esteem is formed, including the acceptance of one's own body. And in the same period, all kinds of mental disorders are formed, which are based on rejection of their body. Their spectrum is quite wide - from the rejection of individual parts, called "body dysmorphomania / body dysmorphophobia", sometimes leading to countless surgical "improvements" of this part of the body,to all kinds of "eating disorders", the most publicized of which is "anorexia nervosa".

BARRIERS OF SOCIETY

It must be said that the field of interest of practical psychology is mainly the problem of non-acceptance of one's body, and the problem of acceptance simply does not exist. Therefore, you will find a lot of materials on the web on the topic of "how to accept yourself", but you are unlikely to find a study of how people who have a wonderful relationship with their physical shell feel. But in addition to overcoming their own psychological barriers, a person who has assumed his own appearance quite often has to overcome social barriers. This happens when people around you do not agree that with such an appearance it is possible to perform any work or behave in a certain way.

Self-acceptance is fashionable now. It's like a panacea - accept yourself and everything will be fine. The universal diagnosis is also popular - all because you do not accept yourself. And right there are detailed descriptions of the dire consequences of not accepting oneself. Moreover, the importance of this issue is greatly exaggerated by the fact that advertising for esotericism, yoga, fitness, dancing, meditation and other businesses parasitizing on problems in relationships with the body is based on it. But more often than not, for normal health, you just need to ignore the opinions of others.