From Flower To Flower Why Is It Important Not To Jump From One Relationship To Another? - Relations

Why is it important to give yourself time after your relationship is over? And why is everything so complicated? It is important for us to take care of someone, to be useful, necessary, but we cannot live for ourselves. It so happened that we are not needed and not important to ourselves. Sometimes, when we are alone, we begin to love ourselves, become the main ones in ourselves. But it is desirable that this was not for long. Because to love yourself for a long time and live your life for yourself is selfishness. We have been taught so. We are taught from childhood to share. In childhood, we shared a room with my sister, brother, grandmother. We were not asked whether we wanted it or not. It's just a rule, like faith. She is undeniable and it is inappropriate to ask questions.

And it is also inappropriate to be alone and not want a relationship, family, children. So girls jump from one relationship to another. Not having time to catch my breath.

Imagine that you are learning something and you are failing. You don't do the same thing without a break. You did not succeed, you left the idea. We got enough sleep. Found advice, asked around those who succeeded. Analyzed why you didn't succeed the first time. After all this, we practiced and tried again. Perhaps in this chain you realized that it was not yours, and did something else.

But when it comes to relationships, people behave differently. For some reason, it seems to them that the ability to be a partner is at the genetic level. However, this is not the case if you did not have the ideal relationship model in front of your eyes. Another popular attitude is that someone else is to blame and it is important to find the right partner, then everything will work out. This is partly true, the more suitable partner you initially choose, the greater the chance of a result

But how to choose it correctly if the previous one was not the same? So there is a failure in the selection process. Therefore, it is worth stopping and thinking: why did you choose the wrong one? And how did the initial vivid feelings and the man of dreams turn into "wrong"?

Trying to jump from one relationship to another is an attempt to escape from yourself. A way not to listen to your pain and your unwillingness to love yourself and to admit that we are needed and important, first of all, to ourselves. If, reading these lines, you feel anger, irritation, indignation, most likely this is about you. If you think you will figure it out in the process, you need to take it and do it. Then yes. You will break the wood, that's for sure. If your social status and opinion of other people are important to you. If you urgently need to register on a dating site. If it is difficult for you to be alone and it is important to be needed and useful to someone. If you feel your importance only when someone talks about it or proves by their presence nearby, you urgently need to be alone. And not just stay, but learn to choose yourself.

Often people, without ending one relationship, start new ones. And they do it somehow by itself. But when they come to therapy, they begin to realize that they are afraid of being alone. That they don't know how to live if they don't be for someone. Can you live for yourself? Or is the annoying "need to get married" constantly buzzing in your head?

If you are out of a relationship and are currently surfing websites looking for, try giving yourself time to rest. Relaxing is not when you've left the app for a couple of days. Give yourself time to catch your breath and enjoy the loneliness. Do what you didn't allow yourself in the relationship. Someone has lost all friends. Someone has built up a stomach, forgetting about a hobby. Someone too went to work to be at home less often. Someone stopped laughing.

When a relationship ends, there is pain, frustration, resentment, anger, anger. They need to be lived and expressed. It is better to do this with a therapist, or search on the Internet for how to live unlived feelings. It is also important to remember what you were like before this relationship and regain the good that you lost in them. Make a list of what you have gained, what you have lost, what you have not realized. Give yourself time to do something about it all. Men are not going anywhere. But you should not go on a long journey with an open wound.

From childhood we were taught not to be alone, and rightly so. We were born to communicate. But we were also taught to share and not have our own. Not to have your own space, your time, your thoughts. This collective is rooted in us. Little by little, we begin to understand this and learn to give ourselves time and space. We know our difference about each other. Alone, we can hear ourselves and slow down to our speed. Give yourself time to heal after your relationship. This is normal.