Table of contents:

Late Love - Relations
Late Love - Relations

Video: Late Love - Relations

Video: Late Love - Relations
Video: The Proven Reason! It's Never Too Late to Find Love | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs 2023, March
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Theorizing about love is a thankless job. Writing poetry, stories, letters is a completely different matter. After all, no one has ever been able to measure the power of love by the methods of science, to evaluate its “realness”

Here, let's say, is the theme of late love. How does it differ from the “young” one? And in general, what kind of love is considered late? People who have not even reached the age of 50, who have recently experienced the happiness of love, called it "late." But excuse me, because the age of up to 60 is included in the life stage of "maturity", and certainly not "old age"!

Perhaps the fact is that the lovers themselves talk about it very similarly: “This love is the brightest that has ever been in my life. Why did she come so late!"

DOWN NEST

Inevitably, there comes a time that is called the "empty nest" syndrome - the beginning of a child's independent life, for example, when student children leave to study and then work. At this time, the spouses need to learn to live together again, to fill the void that has formed with the departure of the child from the family with something. If the spouses have common hobbies, they are interested in being with each other, then the acute period of the restructuring of life ends for the family without "losses".

But it also happens that the spouses realize that they “lived together for the sake of the children”, remember past loves and relationships that were not realized due to a sense of duty to the family. And then an impulse arises: the task is completed, you can be free! And "late" love comes …

With this problem, abandoned wives most often turn to a psychologist. Are men more likely to succumb to the charm of new late love? No reliable statistics have been found on this issue. But in the practice of online consultations on ten questions on the topic "The children have grown up, and the husband has left, what to do now?" there are only one or two questions (“I am 50 years old, and I fell in love”) from women who are married.

The abandoned partner problem is the flip side of late love

A person abandoned at a very mature age who wanted to live in this marriage "until death do us part" is experiencing tremendous stress and may not be able to recover for a relationship with a new partner.

The question of who to be with, with a new love or with a spouse, arises acutely at any age. Here, inflexibility, constancy in habits, in everyday life, and way of life are especially pronounced, and people who have tried to start living with a new person face this. As a rule, by this time, the family has "acquired" material wealth, and losing or sharing them is perceived as a difficult legally and extremely costly in terms of mental costs. Both the spouse, for whom this marriage remains "the last hope", and children, for whom the separation of parents is always stressful, are under pressure.

All these reasons lead to the fact that a person returns to the family, acutely experiencing both unhappy love and the need to be with an unloved spouse until the end of his days. And late love forever remains the brightest experience of mature years, although without hope of continuation.

WHEN THE WAY IS FREE

Otherwise, relationships develop in people who have long been divorced or widowed. It would seem that nothing prevents them from remarrying or getting married, but is it so easy to do it? Some people reject the very idea of love for two directly opposite reasons: "Why do I still have problems in my old age?" and "I will never meet a person like him (or she)!" All the rest, not so traumatized by marriage and not idealizing the past partner, are potentially ready for a new relationship.

However, this relationship cannot always be called love. Sometimes we are talking about "convenient" alliances of two people. It is unbearable for someone to live alone and need to be close to a person with whom you can talk, feel needed.

People with a hedonistic focus (focus on pleasure and convenience) need someone to constantly take care of them, satisfying all their needs. It is not uncommon to observe such mature newly created couples: a hedonist man and a woman with intolerance to loneliness. Well, these relationships have a right to exist, but only they have nothing to do with love.

As people age, the need to be interesting to others is no less. Moreover, in order for the process to be successful, they have accumulated a baggage of wisdom that allows them to be more tolerant of a partner, as well as communication skills honed over the years. All this plus the "readiness for love" creates an excellent basis for new relationships.

SEX, OLD AND DEATH

Late maturity and old age is a time when a person thinks especially deeply about life, analyzes his own place in it, sums up the results. Recognizing the inevitability of our death and those we love, we subconsciously try to separate ourselves from all the horror associated with it. Moreover, sex takes on a special, mystical meaning in this process. But it is wrong to believe that late love is just a sexual desire, a kind of talisman of youth, although the role of sex at this age should not be underestimated.

Late love allows you to "come to terms" with the rest of the given of being: loneliness is "cured" by the birth of a new "we", love gives prospects for the future, filling life with meaning. Therefore, love at a later age is a wonderful opportunity to overcome the negative experiences associated with aging, to improve the quality of life. This is not at all nonsense, not an oddity, but the right path to a healthy psyche, to preserve a youthful spirit.

AND A LITTLE MORE ABOUT LOVE …

Love that came to a person late is especially appreciated and is often perceived not only as “late”, but also as “last”. That is why the feelings are so acute and so I want to preserve it. Love is not just a feeling, it is also a work on feeling. You need to be careful with her, like with a flower: take care, take care of. If you are still young and your parents (or even grandparents) experience this feeling, be gentle. Do not crush the tender sprout.

Aunt Zina's love

My neighbor, Aunt Zina, was an aging, lonely and tired woman "about 65". But one day an interesting change took place in her. Aunt Zina was somehow transformed, first internally and then externally. Her gaze became radiant, mischievous and a little flirtatious even when she just greeted her neighbors. Her back straightened, and it became clear that her figure was not bad at all. Aunt Zina began to tint her lips first, and then her eyes. And then she put on her pants! These were classic trousers, so unexpected on a woman who always wore "pensioners" skirts (straight, length - up to mid-calf). She stopped sitting on a bench near the entrance, the neighbors were amazed and speculated. It turned out that Aunt Zina fell in love! This topic was the first for the driveway "gossip" for several months. And then aunt Zina and her lover began to live together. He turned out to be a fit man, several years older than her. You can often see them together, they always hold hands and, in my opinion, are very happy.

My husband and I have lived for 27 years, and three years ago he fell in love. I tried by any means to get him back, but as a result, he just stopped noticing me. At the moment, "love" is over, but with me he is failing. I already agree to divorce, so as not to see his indifference. After all, with pain I understand that I can no longer be in the house instead of furniture … Is it worth maintaining family relations at all?

Irina, 52 years old

We have a clearing in the forest where pensioners gather. We arrange gatherings, bring an accordion or tape recorder, sing songs, play cards and dominoes. Women, dressed up, gather in groups and discuss the few gentlemen. And men, as at any age, behave differently: someone rushes after several at once, bringing almost serial passions into our forest peace, someone “does not notice” women, and some fall in love for real. We even had several weddings!

Pavel, 67 years old

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