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Video: Personality Formula, Or Race For Survival - Self-development
The phone call burst into life, as always, without warning.
- Good evening! Irina?
- Yes, I'm listening to you.
- I have depression, I need to get rid of it. Can we meet on Thursdays at 11.00?.. I have a good job and this year the day off is once a week on Thursday, on the rest of the days I have to be present at work, my manager controls this, only then he calculates bonuses …
- What is your profession?
- I graduated from the Faculty of Applied Mathematics at Moscow State University.
- How did you find out about me?
- Mom chose you. She said that you will teach me to follow the rules, and then I will be confident and calm.
- Which rules?
- Everywhere to be in time! … Since adolescence, I have difficulties with my back, my mother found me an excellent chiropractor, I am now taking a course … Once every two weeks I have to visit a doctor, she supervises my nutrition so that I can overcome stomach problems … Again, I I need to support English, I study with a native speaker … Then …
- Excellent, come on Thursday at 11.00, I will free this time for you …
It is quite easy for a person with a good imagination to imagine himself as a driver of a Formula 1 racing car. At top speed, you rush towards the designated target. You strive forward with all your being, guided by the only desire - to come first to the alluring flag in the box. You merge into one stream with movement, overcoming overloads. Your car is part of you or you are part of it. What drives you, who controls? Tremendous speed, danger of fractures, risk of detachment of the retina - everything fades into the background, and you rush, immensely trusting the team. What gives you confidence? Do you believe in their professionalism? In thatthat they correctly tuned all the details of the car? Did the car assembly follow all the rules? Will the engine run in the correct mode? In whose hands is your life? And also - you must correctly receive and read all signals during the race: white - a slow car on the track, blue - an approaching faster car, yellow - danger. Once again, the Mediator stands between you and your safety.
- Good afternoon, Ilya.
- I'm not late?
- You are on time. Do you try to never be late? Are you very disciplined?
- How else, I can't let the person down, they are waiting for me … I try to do everything on time … Sometimes it's difficult, it's exhausting, you are in time trouble all the time, sometimes you don't even have time to think about your next move and analyze the future one.
- How do you determine the correctness of your movement?
- It's easy, I have all the moves calculated and included in the schedule, the main thing is not to go astray, not to leave the race …
- Oh well. Your organization is impressive. It's convenient with you. Let's do one exercise and figure out where you are rushing at such an enviable speed. Go to the flipchart. Take markers. Sign large under the heading "Formula of Personality".
“Imagine yourself as a scientist-mathematician who has worked for many years to compile a unique mathematical formula - the formula for his personality. Each element in it is in its place. In order for the solution to agree with the answer - "Ilya", all the components of your Formula must be verified for compliance with you, all elements must be correlated with each other. Today is a significant day for you, you can present the Formula of your Personality, the fruit of your many years of work to the mathematical community."
You now have 40 minutes for final preparations before the presentation. If everything is clear, get to work.
Illustration 1. Writing on a flipchart.
- Well! You have met the time given to you again. So, you have the floor, Ilya.
Decoding the audio file
- Dear, mathematical community, let me present you the Formula of my Personality. The first component of Me is the product F on S, it illustrates my ability to trust specialists, I believe that everyone should do their own thing: a doctor - to treat, a teacher - to give lessons, and so on. And to every master in my life, I unquestioningly trust that part of it in which he is the best. To this is added the relation of D to T - development over time. The more I develop, the less time I have left, this is a completely logical pattern, from which it is clear that the appearance of free time in quantities greater than usual raises the question - is my development continuing?
Now let's look at the complex relationship of such systemic elements as R, P, SinJ, C, Q. Responsibility is raised to the level of rules and principles, so each new system of rules, which I join in my life and work, imposes on me more and more responsibility. SinJ reflects the relationship within my Work Triangle, where leg e represents my enjoyment of work, and the hypotenuse h represents complexity and multitasking. The sum of the two terms presented above is multiplied by C - confidence. I am confident in what I am doing, I consider myself a person who leads a good and correct life. This product is divided by the square root of Q. By this I show that the rest with the quantitative and qualitative growth of the elements of the numerator becomes less and less,but the confidence in the correctness and completeness of my actions allows me to reduce the degree of influence of Q with the help of a radical. And, sadly, I have to draw your attention to the last term of this arithmetic equality - the sum of f, l, d - a reflection of friendship, love and dreams that I subtract from my life due to the fact that these elements are simply not enough time.
My talk is over. Ask your questions.
- Bravo. Applause. I feel that this is a serious work of many years, but still I have a few questions.
I listened to you very attentively, tell me, Ilya, is everything so unambiguous in the piece F to S? I certainly agree with you that a specialist should deal with every case, but tell me, how many people are now responsible for your well-being? Are they living your life with you or instead of you? You distributed yourself to them in parts, and they, with pleasure, dismantled you and each professional sells his work to you - English, back, stomach, psyche … - in parts, because they are specialists in their field. You remind me of a racing car: you were assembled, put on the track, and you rush, not having time to figure out where?, Why?, What is there?
And another question - who is your mother in this difficult process, the Head Coach, or the Judge?
- Mom, probably all the Arbitrators, who stand with flags at every turn and show with signs whether I am moving in the right direction, and warn of danger.
- Perfectly. (Do you know this joke - "The first 40 years of childhood in a man's life are the most difficult")?
- Yeah, I heard from my girlfriend)).
- So. From now on, you take the F-S work under your personal control, reduce the number of Specialists in your life, and redirect Trust to Faith in yourself.
As a specialist I am telling you this, believe me, this is how it should be done)).
-)) Okay, I'll try.
- Another question. I really like the relationship between D and T in your formula - that you devote a lot of Time to your Development. But I don't like the absence of f, l, d in your life - friendship, love and dreams. I have a proposal - to introduce these elements of the formula into the category of developing you as a person, and include them in your stable schedule as mandatory!
“… Then there will always be time for them! And it will not remain free! And I won't think that I'm wasting my time! And even when I’m in a cafe with my girlfriend and discussing where to go for a weekend break, I’ll think that I’m developing.
- Well! Just like that, you grow as a Personality.
- This is genius! It did not even occur to me that this is possible). I always thought that love, friendship is like a reward for doing everything right, and dreams in general are for weaklings in rose-colored glasses … So, in my life there is a place for everything that others have.
- Of course there is, you want it and deserve it.
- Yeah, so we still need specialists to open our eyes to such correct things)).
- They are needed, but only at the moment when you should be reminded that You Yourself are an expert in Your life. And in our work with you, this is the first task - to make you that way, to remove all unnecessary dependencies on other specialists, including me. I hope that with your ability to set and solve problems, we will come to a result very quickly.
- Hope so.
- And one more, serious question. Let's turn to the centerpiece of your Formula. Being responsible, following rules and principles, being able to multitask and having confidence that you are doing everything right is great. You are a human being - Finding an employer, Reliability of a team, Pride of parents. You are very convenient for everyone, you strive forward on your car: at great speed, regardless of your condition, not noticing anything around. But here you should be aware of the fact that all the best pictures of this world can go unnoticed, unexamined and unexplored by you. Are you ready to make such a sacrifice?
- Yes you are right. I'm not ready to sacrifice this. It looks like an escape. What am I running from?
- "From what?", "Where"? - these are the questions that we have to answer. But to the question “Why do you need to understand all this?”, I think that you can answer right now.
- Do you mean Q from my formula - Calm?.. I need to take My life into My hands, so as not to lose myself, to feel integrity, so that calmness and pacification do not disappear from my life with catastrophic speed.
- Again, bravo! Applause.
Having joined the race of life, over time, you stop noticing that you have already run out of the picturesque park and jumped onto the treadmill. The body is tuned to run, the movements are energetic, all the indicators are set, the modes are set. Nearby there is an experienced "instructor" -professional, he will take care of all your vital signs. All that remains for you is simply to strive for the finish line. What is there besides the final whistle? You know? Me neither. Maybe let's see what is here and now?
"It is impossible to determine the right path to the future, running away from the past, wherever you look."
I. V. Trutneva
Fragment from the book by Irina Krylatskaya "Psychology behind the scenes"