Permission To Mind. How To Respond To Unusual Working Conditions - Image, Society

Last week, I failed important negotiations. At first, it seemed that customers were interested in the product I was offering. But in a personal meeting, everything went awry. The negotiations took place at the client's premises. We went into a closet where five, and maybe six employees were crammed. It was very noisy in a cramped room - people talked on the phone with each other. I started the presentation, but soon realized that the client did not hear me, he was distracted by other issues. I began to speak louder, tried to attract attention with the help of facial expressions, but I could not save the negotiations. Tell me how to behave correctly in such situations?

Ekaterina, 32 years old

Dear Ekaterina, you should probably immediately react to the proposed rules of the game and be more free in this, including changes in circumstances. Of course, negotiations in a closet are a special genre. All the more so if the “residents” are used to interrupting her, not listening, jumping from one unfinished business to another. One gets the impression that you are in the zoo and the attempt to speak "more and more humanly", correctly, with increasing volume, accents was doomed. Well, monkeys have their own laws. Thank you that it was still not in the jungle, which means it was safe.

You have acquired the experience of meaningless negotiations with disinterested people, absurdly organized space, breaking communications, insignificant motivation - that is, you found yourself in a seemingly specially organized anti-negotiation laboratory. Next time you can immediately smile, sympathize, try to quietly and interestedly make friends against such an absurdity. And here it is not far before the proposal to move from the nearest cafe or other place where you can stay face to face with the one who makes the decision. The main thing is to learn well that the absurdity lies in the situation itself, and you are in it by chance and you are all right. This will help build your psychological confidence muscles. If this situation is not the only one, but rather repetitive or typical, you should look back and ask yourself why this is happening to you and whether you want to live in such a world. I wish you success!

One friend of mine jokes: if the employer considers dismissal to be a betrayal, then you are in a sect. It seems to have happened to me too. When I first came to the company, I heard legends about the manager's calls to the organization with a request not to hire a resigned employee. When a manager from our department quit in my presence, he decided not to name the new place of work. Recently, I received an interesting job offer and immediately thought: how to leave the company "without blood", how to build a conversation with the boss? I would like to avoid accusations of betrayal, unreasonable delay in the terms of work.

Sasha, 28 years old

Dear Sasha, the best way to negotiate in your case is to joke more and be independent. Think of this situation as an opportunity that will help you better understand people and their characters. First of all, think about a new job, imagine how interesting it will be for you to do your duties. And that, no matter how swagger the boss may be, it is better to part with him sympathetically and in a friendly manner. This will make you a little stronger and freer. If your current manager is so suspicious and proud, especially if he allows himself to call new places of work, it is better to take a clear position and not name the place of the intended departure when communicating with him. You can hardly change the world, change the character of the boss, no matter how good a negotiator you are. You shouldn't even demand this from yourself.

I returned to the company, where at the age of 19 I already worked as a secretary and assistant manager - my distant relative. My salary was symbolic, but the manager paid for my studies, I went with her on business trips abroad. Soon I changed jobs, started getting more money, spending it myself, choosing what I like. But then the company was downsized, and I left. At the same time, I received an invitation to return to my old job, with a promotion and a normal salary. I agreed. But she immediately began to go to her boss's country house and work with her on weekends. Additionally, these days were not paid. I tried to explain that I have a personal life, but unsuccessfully. Tell me how to properly insist on changing conditions.

Julia, 24 years old

Dear Julia, you have the right and are ready to negotiate as an adult, reasonable person who builds and defends his own boundaries. But your cousin, the boss, clearly has problems with borders. She wants "personal obedience and fellowship." Previously, you worked as a "hanger", that was the name of the people who lived with the landlords, who entertained them, pleased them, made up their staff and gave them a sense of superiority. You clearly left this role. It's time to discuss the terms.

During negotiations, it is worth communicating with the manager “to the point” (indicating that you are not ready to work without paying the weekend and would like a clear “framework”) and “soft in form” (thanking for the experience, the opportunity to communicate, pleasure). But these two realities should not be confused with each other. Make it clear to your relative that you are happy to communicate with her, but you will not work with border violations. I just want to write you a certificate with a seal - permission for independence, intelligence and adulthood, which you have achieved. And you shouldn't refuse it (especially with a certificate).

And one more nuance: if you are ready to conclude negotiations without tension, with a feeling of righteousness and the realization that you have made reasonable attempts to correct the situation, this will add strength and experience to you in negotiations in the future. The temptation to consider you small and dependent is best left on the boss's conscience. And of course, your conversation is another test of your strength: negotiate with a smile, easily moving around the room, relieving her irritation, that is, without showing involuntary and expected signs of dependence. I wish you success!