Bad Boy. How To Recognize And Communicate - Self-development

In the author's classification of psychological types by Leonid Krol, the creator of the Coaching Workshop project, professor of the Master's program in Psychoanalytic Coaching and Consulting at Higher Scool of Economics and the author of the Incantico blog, the Bad Boy is a prominent character. Impulsive and quick-tempered, without brakes and plans, this type is capable of ruining the life of anyone. But on one condition - if you do not know how to communicate with him. Let's learn together?

If a representative of this type is completely "bad guy" - most likely, you will meet him at the bottom of society, in prison, for example.

And if the scoundrel is moderate, then there are a lot of such at the very top. Their impulsiveness does not reach the complete absence of brakes, and their intelligence is high enough to skillfully use others and not get caught. Dangerous guy? Yes, but sometimes supernaturally successful.

Portrait without embellishment

In the old days he was called an immoral, now a psychopath. He does not repay his debts; on the contrary, everyone always owes it to him. Just because "I want to eat." And his appetites are wolfish.

This is a person without brakes and plans, cunning in a quick perspective, but unable and unwilling to foresee long-term consequences. He knows how to evoke pity, pedalize the peculiarity of his position, inspire hopes for the success of the enterprise. Usually his projects are easy to expose, and he himself does not take them seriously: the main thing is to get support, and then his attention switches.

In his youth, he easily makes new connections, changes activities, marries. Gives the impression of being mobile and seeker. In principle, he is not able to put down roots for a long time, to be consistent in feelings and affections, allows him to be loved (or better, to simply endure, he does not need love). He himself rarely falls in love and does not understand how it happens.

Overly obedient sons never achieve much

Abraham Brill

He does not listen to others for long, he constantly looks as if he is in a hurry somewhere and is busy with something. Sometimes he plays and invests in something accidentally turned up money, invariably losing, which does not bother him at all. Almost devoid of self-esteem and reflection, rather imitates it for others, like almost everything he does. So empty a flower that it even touches others who are too immersed in something.

He gives the impression of being free, but even then not for long, since he constantly (from middle age) gets into some kind of bindings. He does not like to work, but often gets a job, prefers to look after something, protect, maintain some (very relative) order. Inclined to anxiety, does not stay in one place for long. One of its main features is unnaturalness, uncomfortableness that it brings into the surrounding space.

This suggests a banal analogy with a weed that is tenacious because it can grow where nothing else is accepted. This adventurous type often turns out to be a trailblazer; he is brought to intermediate stations and virgin lands.

How to communicate with Bad Guy

• When communicating with the "bad boy", it is important to sow in him thoughts about the possibility of looking back and reflecting. The moment will come when he will run out of steam and will watch the movies of his life. Try to be a bright and instructive passage that he thinks about.
• It is worth paying attention to the originality of his internal anxiety, similar to constant itching. You can't get used to it, but you can get distracted. As a rule, he responds to the offer of a psychologist to work with this and to make it easier. He understands the role of iodine, a local anesthetic, and also entertains the novelty of attention.
• He has a tendency to "stick" at every opportunity and demonstrate the desperation of his position. In this there is always a mixture of indifference and somewhat feigned demonstrativeness, which he does not bother to turn into something more expressed and practical, even for himself.
• It makes sense to talk with him about the traps and adversities in which he found himself. If you give this the meaning of "the world of adventure", he begins to reflect and thereby create more complete pictures of himself and what is happening to him. Surprisingly, with his high intelligence, he usually does not create complete pictures and is devoid of social forecasting and outlook. This is a manifestation of a decrease in emotional intelligence. He really hardly understands what it is like to act by the rules.
• The "bad boy" is relatively vital, with drops in energy, therefore, in youth and middle age, he easily enters into new connections. Talking about sexual partners is the highest measure of his frankness, however, he quickly forgets about any fragment of the conversation with depth.
• He readily responds to planning, but this happens declaratively and leads to little, rather serves to maintain a conversation.
• In a group, such a person makes only situational connections, takes little interest in anyone. He uses information well - to find, define, compare, but with a high degree of indifference. Usually he refers to bad luck in life, betrayal, is not inclined to forgive, only falls into the erasure of feelings by time (which happens quickly for him).
• And the last thing. Attempts to instill in the "bad boy" moral feelings are completely useless. But to be remembered, to become a milestone in case of future rebirth is quite real.

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