We Are Watching The Film "Chinese Coffee" Together With A Psychologist. Explicit And Hidden In Relationships - Relationships, Reviews

Today I want to talk about the little-known but talented film "Chinese Coffee". It is notable for the fact that in it the Hollywood actor Al Pacino, known and loved by audiences around the world, acted not only as an actor, but also as a director. At that time, the "star" was 60 years old

• Film "Chinese Coffee". USA, 2000
• Director: Al Pacino
• Starring: Al Pacino, Jerry Orbak

The film was filmed in 2000 and shown at the festival, but it was not released, so many viewers simply did not know about it. A wide audience found the opportunity to get acquainted with "Chinese coffee" only in 2007, when it appeared on discs, and accepted it favorably. A talented actor does not always turn out to be a good director, but this is exactly what happened in this story: an hour and a half fly by unnoticed thanks to the skill of the actors, successful dialogues, and a fascinating development of events.

The film has an interesting history of creation: an actor's improvisation, a simple study performed by students of the famous Lee Strasberg studio, turned out to be so successful that it was turned into a theatrical play. Al Pacino decided to film it, playing one of the two main roles - the aging writer Harry Levin. Jerry Orbuck made a worthy duet for him, creating the image of the ambitious but unclaimed photographer Jake Mannheim.

Theatrical play became a film

Since the film "Chinese Coffee" is based on a theatrical play, there are few events, but a lot of dialogue. The initially slow pace gradually accelerates, and at the end, an unexpected and paradoxical ending awaits us. Without being distracted by events or computer special effects (the opponent of which in cinema is Al Pacino), viewers can focus on the semantic component and enjoy the game of the masters. In fact, the whole action is a conversation between the main characters - elderly lonely losers. They philosophize, remember and comprehend the past, and also make plans for the future.

Once Harry wrote two popular novels, but he never got out of poverty, his beloved woman, "the love of his life", as he says about her, left him, and his successful brother looks down on him. Now Harry is forced to grab any job in order to earn a living and continue writing.

He gives Jake his hopes of a new novel to read and wants a friend's opinion. At first, Jake states that he never read it, but then the action takes an unexpected turn: he declares that he lied, and in fact read the novel, but found it unsuccessful and did not want to upset his friend. And he persuades Harry not to publish bad work and even quit writing.

But … here another unexpected twist awaits the audience. It turns out that Jake liked the novel, and he believes that it can bring Harry fame. But the loser Jake cannot bear the thought that his friend can be successful. Therefore, he tried to dissuade Harry from publishing with his lies.

Banal envy and jealousy, which were hidden in their friendship, imperceptibly poisoned and eventually destroyed it. Photographer Jake once wrote a couple of short stories and has writing ambitions himself. And he can't afford to let his best friend become a successful writer.

Explicit and hidden in relationships

In the relationship there is an explicit and a hidden, two layers, like the underwater part of the iceberg and the visible. Just as used on most of the iceberg is under water, and in the relationship stronger and meaningful is the hidden part. Often it is not even recognized by either side or even both, and then it becomes dangerous. This is the so-called "shadow side of relationship", similar to the dark side of the moon.

Displaced feelings, desires, impulses do not disappear, they remain in the relationship, and can destroy them. Or they are realized, but the person indulges them, following the lead of his Shadow, as it happens with Jake - and the result is the same negative. Relationships break down. Duality appears, a latent contradiction.

Outwardly healthy relationships can actually be destructive because they now have latent toxicity that can poison contact

The film "Chinese Coffee" presents a fairly common example of how a hidden layer of relationships begins to devour them: because unhealthy competition with a friend and envy appears in it.

Competition is a natural process. There is competition in both the natural and the social world. It is not bad in itself, its expression and development can be bad: how exactly a person deals with it, how begins to act.

Fair competition means, first of all, honesty with oneself. It is important to assign it to yourself, to be honest. Competition and envy are markers of scarcity; they show that we need something. And in a healthy scenario, they encourage us to develop: if you lack something, try to achieve it!

But unhealthy competition and envy lead not to development, but to destruction: instead of making up for his deficiencies and developing, a person begins to destroy the object of envy. “I don’t, so you won’t!” And then the relationship becomes toxic. Consciously or not, such a person begins to destroy the one he envies, even if it is his relative, friend, loved one.

What to do if hidden envy appears in a relationship

We offer recommendations on how to deal with hidden jealousy in a relationship?

What if you are jealous of a loved one?

• 1. Understand what exactly you are jealous of.
• 2. Based on this, understand what is your deficit? What is the need?
• 3. Make a strategy: in what ways you can achieve what you want, satisfy your needs.

What if a loved one envies you?

• 1. Try to directly discuss what is happening between you - to reveal a hidden, shadow layer of relations. Not blaming, but talking about facts: what your friend is doing, what he says, and how you perceive these facts. What bothers you, what hurts. And what do you ask him about: what to do and what not to do in relation to you.
• 2. If your friend's behavior does not change and remains toxic, think about how best to protect yourself? Sometimes distancing, reducing communication helps; sometimes - the development of internal stability, strengthening of psychological boundaries in contact, so that you do not get hurt; in some cases, it is better to end a toxic relationship.