Know How To Be Happy At The Place Of Registration! Watching The Film "What Men Talk About" With A Psychologist - Quality Of Life, Reviews

Feels like forty is the first age when you finally grow up to not only start asking yourself “eternal” questions, but also try to answer them. That is, for the first time in your life, you have everything to look back and evaluate what you have lived through

And now you are shouting: “No! I didn't imagine it all so! I didn't sign up for that! " But it’s too late, everything is already finished, started and with ruthless inevitability is happening to you! And then at some point you find yourself helplessly sitting in the middle of a raging life, but at what point this substitution took place, "the investigation has not established."

At the same time, it seems like there is no one to blame - he himself wanted and achieved all this.

And here the most important thing is not to start drinking.

So much more successful is the path taken by the creators of the film "What Men Talk About", they are also the main performers, screenwriters, producers and characters: Lesha (Leonid Barats), Sasha (Alexander Demidov), Kamil (Kamil Larin) and Slava (Rostislav Khait), humorously voicing to themselves most of the problems of a modern, accomplished man "under forty", and at the same time in passing demonstrating to the viewer the psychological insides of the male part of the seventies generation. That is, those boys who grew up during the Soviet Union, matured in the era of perestroika and, finally, managed not to get lost in modern life, showing the viewer all the signs of a successful "maine" - a good car, an elite apartment, an expensive suit and a calm attitude towards relatively large sums in dollar terms.

So, with what results did our heroes approach their fortieth birthday?

First, relationships with women remain the center of the universe. Moreover, simultaneously with several and at different stages of their development. Fortunately, by this age, men, as a rule, acquire first a wife, then children, then this whole polyphonic community begins to be called simply “my family”. And more and more tormented by one single question: "Is this mess called a happy family life?"

Then, of course, she appears - a mistress - or they - mistresses. This depends on the financial and sexual capabilities of the head of the family.

And from this moment the most interesting thing begins - the man begins to compare (which, in fact, is what Camille does in the scene of the parallel reading of SMS from his wife and mistress).

And what turns out?

And about the following - what at the initial stages of family life was the basis of the charm of your chosen one - all sorts of "cute things" like "smack-smack" or "pustik", suddenly, instead of still charming, starts to wildly annoy. And what is the most disgusting - exactly what you liked is the most annoying.

The question arises: "What to do with this?"

The easiest but useless way out is to get a divorce. Although it is at this age that the understanding comes that with any other chosen one in six months - the year will begin the same. And you will need a third, fourth, fifth … This is what Slavik, who does not miss a single erotic opportunity, does. And this is basically a way out. It's just not very clear where to put a wife in such a model. Of course, if she is a "normal" wife, and not as advanced as in Slavic Fantasies.

By the way, there is even a separate plot about "normal" family relations in the film, a kind of "The Parable of the Faithful Husband and Zhanna Friske", in which all the hopelessness of monogamous existence is shown in a concentrated form.

After all, what happens? Either you are loyal and loyal, but not capable of anything, or capable of anything, but again exactly the same bad letter as in the first case. And please note, both of these options are voiced by your own wife. In general, the hope is complete.

And finally, what should Lesha, who continues to remember his first love, who has got a “light” wife, with whom it is impossible to quarrel seriously - she is so not vindictive that she instantly forgets everything. And two children to boot! As a result, there is no chance of divorce. There are only dreams in the spirit of a teenage "classic of the genre", well, about how he plays the piano in a tuxedo, and then they dance …

As a matter of fact, this topic - why live a family life and what is it, this very "happy family life", is - and constitutes the lion's share of the reasoning of our heroes.

And with all the variety of types, the problem, in general, boils down to a difficult dilemma - how, having turned into relatives, continue to be successful lovers? After all, what happens? The whole structure, the whole psychology of joint family existence is aimed at turning a man and a woman who are originally strangers to each other "by blood" into the next of kin. At the same time, the process of kindred "growing" of partners into each other pulls along with it a change in their relationship, often from partner-love to child-parent. As Camille says: “Before my parents forbade me to do something, now my wife. When will I grow up?"

This is where the sexual component begins to suffer. Because what is the interest in messing with the seduction of a relative? In addition, at this stage, a certain stable set of sexual rituals is developed in a couple, which, on the one hand, seems to provide a regular receipt of guaranteed satisfaction, and on the other hand, it introduces an element of routine monotony into the partners' sexual life. Add to this the everyday problems that are obligatory in domestic family life, requiring the every minute attention of children, some grandparents living in the next room, and that's all - sex has every chance of turning into a kind of rarely performed duty.

Let us note, by the way, that the married part of our characters is devoid of problems with “everyday life”. Which does not save them from relationship problems. Since the traditional recommendations of all kinds of sexologists for couples living together for a long time about the fact that “you need to try to diversify your sexual repertoire”, in addition to everyday troubles, they reliably run into another barrier - the personal limitations of partners, both sexual and human. People do not want to develop together, feeling themselves "put their hearts on the shelf of family happiness." What for? And so everything is fine!

So it turns out that happiness, especially family happiness, cannot be initially treated with care. First, he must be worn out in the battles of life, and then keep in good health what is left of him.

In this regard, taking into account the direct relation of the storyline to South Palmyra (after all, the main characters of the film from Moscow go to “have fun” in Odessa), I recalled the wonderful reasoning of Ilf and Petrov from The Golden Calf that “parallel to the big world where big people and big things live, there is a small world with small people and small things."

So, it seems that in our life these worlds have long changed in scale and places. High matters are no longer of interest to "real men", and the very image of a real man is no longer associated with any other accomplishments, except for the purchase of another "superyacht" or "cool car". Because of what the representatives of the stronger sex constantly have insecurity, formulated by Kamil: "I want all this or is it so easy?"

There is another side: the large size of the world - is it inside the person himself or is this how circumstances develop?

That is, the problem is that we live en masse in a small one. And the problems from this do not diminish - because, whatever one may say, life is at stake. So through the small problems of the small world, the big problems of the big one always break through. And vice versa. They are like two communicating vessels in a physics puzzle, and life is the very fluid that flows from one to the other when its internal state changes.

After all, what strains - strains what we initially do not know what we are getting ourselves into. As one of my fellow lecturers says: “If the students knew right away what most of them would really be paid for, the competition for institutes would decrease significantly”. And here - the whole life is like that, that is, in a completely different way than it seemed.

And here another wonderful plot begins to unfold - the struggle between how you imagined your life, and how it really develops. Or, more simply, between dream and reality. And here's the trouble - they do not coincide, well, not a bit. And with this, you also have to somehow live and do something. Because the simplest thing is to forget about the dream. And quietly be content not with what you want, but with what you get. But this is, by definition, old age. No dreams, no news, no prospects. And at forty it is also scary, that is, changing something in your life is already scary, and not changing anything in it is even more scary. So our heroes go ahead for impressions-adventures.

By the way, this method is far from new and was discovered by the British: the best medicine for a bored gentleman is sailing around the world.

However, age is already making itself felt, and is already more drawn to the sea than to the disco. And disco requires additional effort, but it is still possible, useful and necessary. Because what is the main thing for a real man? Do not run away when it is disgusting, and do not be afraid when it is scary.

But they are still men - simply because they endure all this and take part in all this and do not desert. They do not desert from life and try to take everything from it.

And by a happy coincidence they turn out to be "insufficiently prepared", that is, too lively for the "last" answers to the "last" questions. So the case ends with beautifully going credits against the backdrop of the beach in Arcadia …