Dating By Ad: The Search For Happiness Today And 100 Years Ago - Relationships, Society

The problem of loneliness and finding a life partner is eternal. Today, those looking for their soul mate have at their disposal all modern tools: the Internet, thematic talk shows, public places. What happened 100 years ago? How did you meet at that time? Is there really a huge difference between dating practices now and a century ago? How have dating ads changed?

In the second half of the 19th century, the established traditions of matchmaking and weddings gradually began to change. The French tradition, according to which only parents are allowed to decide the fate of children, has ceased to be perceived by society. But the opposite English wind of change, in which the girl is absolutely free in her choice, also did not become popular. The dating and matchmaking ritual was full of contradictions. Traditional customs gradually lost their stability and were replaced by more modern dating tools for the purpose of creating a family.

1. Matchmakers

This craft was very popular. Matchmakers knew all possible brides and grooms, were aware of the dowry and relatives. A good matchmaker is eloquent, dexterous, cunning and charming. She has thet of persuasion, can talently hide one thing and emphasize another advantageously. Translated into modern language, a matchmaker is an ideal marketer and PR manager. Nevertheless, not everyone resorted to the services of a matchmaker - for a number of intelligent families, matchmaking seems to be quite a shameful and even shameful occupation.

2. Balls

A ball party is a major event where each guest pursued specific goals. For example, show yourself to society, sparkle with a chic outfit, hear the latest news and, of course, make acquaintances. An interested glance, a sensual waltz, a conditional agreement on a meeting - something more could well grow out of such acquaintances.

3. Bride fairs

Not everyone had access to social events, so another way to find a life partner is the so-called bride fairs. You can easily visualize: for example, Petersburg, the Summer Garden, unhurried walks of mother and daughter. A way to “look at people and show yourself”.

4. Marriage newspapers

Most interesting and noteworthy dating genre. 100 years ago, it was marriage newspapers that became very popular. The first such newspaper appeared in 1906. The newspaper did not stop its work during the revolution and the Civil War.

At first, the marriage newspaper was published only in Moscow and St. Petersburg. Later, it began to quickly spread throughout the cities, due to its exponentially growing popularity. The price of the newspaper was very attractive, so it sold out quickly.

The marriage newspaper was distinguished by the fact that it kept the secret of the identity of the "applicant", and anyone could submit their ad. The list of seekers could include a nobleman or an ordinary craftsman. Yes, there were paid ads, but not high prices. All correspondence was carried out through the mailbox of the newspaper. With mutual sympathy, it was possible to exchange addresses and continue acquaintance without intermediaries.

Unexpected features

Hungry for wealth

If we look at the marriage announcements that have survived to this day, we will notice that the epithet "gigolo" was not disgusting and unacceptable, as it is now (for the majority). On the contrary, gentlemen filing marriage announcements did not hesitate to clearly state their goals and preferences. The time of the impoverished nobles dictated their own conditions: to find a bride with a worthy dowry was considered a sign of a resourceful mind and ingenuity, and not at all a shame.

Ladies did not lag behind, which is perhaps the more familiar “format” of search. We must pay tribute to female honesty - in letters, girls sometimes did not hide their desire to become a young widow.

Well, expressing your material desires in a letter was an ordinary thing and not surprising.

“20 years, an educated young lady is looking for the husband of a millionaire, who is always elderly, in the absence of nervousness.”

Romantic natures

Of course, not all ads were of a materialistic tone. Romantics of both sexes, without thinking about their daily bread, also dreamed of finding a life partner with similar preferences.

“The poet-madman, mystical anarchist, walking over the abyss, calls from afar to the one who dares to take him hand in hand to walk the everyday path and know everything. The proposal is serious."

Business proposals

Also in the newspapers one could find exclusively business ads, in which there was not a hint of sentimentality. Exceptionally clear plans, calculation and cold mind. It is interesting that in such cases, both then and now, strong alliances were formed based on friendship and mutual respect. The scheme is quite close to modern society.

“Film director, 26 years old, serious, looking for a wife-friend who loves art, with a capital of at least 40,000 rubles. for own production of cinematographic tapes. The name and beauty are indifferent."

Comparing times

Dating tools then and now have a lot in common. Now, in the XXI century, at the disposal of love seekers and professional matchmakers, the same marriage newspapers - only in the format of Internet platforms. What has changed?

First, the language of presentation. Modern time is speed, busyness 24/7 and lack of time for "languid sighs on a summer evening." Therefore, romantic quests are formulated more transparently.

Secondly, there are no outright fortune hunters. The key word is frank. The search for material well-being is successfully hidden behind the standard formulas of "self-presentation".

And the most important difference between dating a century ago and now is a noticeable vector of simplification. This is not at all the advantage of modern communication. If 10 years ago SMS dating and SMS chats were popular, now even such formats are too long a journey. All this is being replaced by dating services, in the form of an application for any gadget. Is it convenient? Definitely yes.

But when faced with an unlimited choice of possible candidates, a person is faced with the absence of the same choice: instead of getting to know a potential partner better, you can quickly turn to another. Superficial choice leads to superficial relationships. Perhaps honest announcements of the early 20th century with even embarrassing goals are more transparent and resourceful?