Four Ways To Act When You Have A Tough Decision - Self-development

Most often, they turn to a psychologist for help when it is necessary to make a difficult decision. The person scrolls in his head various options for solving the problem, but none of them seems good enough to him

If you think about the problem for a long time, you get a feeling of a vicious circle - the same arguments are repeated endlessly, only slightly differing in formulations. This "mental gum" is very tiring. It seems that he was in a dead end, from which there is no way out. Instead of a clear choice and active action to solve the problem, apathy, despair and moral fatigue come.

But you don't have to bring yourself to such a "dead end"! You just need to approach making a difficult decision in a more structured way, and there are four ways that can help.

Method 1: take advice

Pick 3-4 people who are reputable for you and ask them for advice. Briefly describe the problem to them and ask how (and why) they would do in a similar situation. If you come across conflicting advice, then expand the circle of advisors; add the opinions of another 1-2 experts.

You can deepen this method by adding devil's advocate to it. If you were prompted some good recommendation, but doubts still remain, then select 1-2 of the most respected advisors and ask them what they dislike about this recommendation, if there is any catch in it.

Method 2: think on paper

The meaning of the recommendation is to "unload" your thoughts from the semi-dark labyrinths of the mind into the brightly lit external world. When we solve a problem “in our mind,” it is very easy to fall into a vicious circle without even noticing it. To break this “circular thinking”, you need to start writing down your thoughts on paper. Then there will be an opportunity not to repeat ourselves and find some new arguments and ideas.

The process of researching a problem on paper can and should be made as creative as possible. You can just write out whatever comes to mind (a kind of freewriting); you can try to trace how your thoughts are connected by drawing a diagram with arrows; you can write the pros and cons in two columns; you can limit time and conduct a classic "brainstorm", writing down as many original solutions to the problem as possible.

Method 3: advise

Imagine that a person with a similar problem comes to you for advice. What advice would you give him? What information about him and his problem would you need to give good advice?

What does “good advice” mean in a situation like this? What are the criteria for successfully solving a problem? What result should you strive for? What goals and objectives should you set for yourself so that the problem is finally solved?

Method 4: do the opposite

This is a kind of “contradictory” approach to solving a problem. Allow yourself to dream and imagine the perfect solution to the problem. Everything is over, and you have already done it in the best possible way! Then ask yourself: How is this possible? What resources and capabilities are needed to make this decision come true? What can be done in reality to get even a little closer to the ideal solution?

Even if an absolutely fantastic solution comes to mind (like "aliens will fly in and save us all"), then it should not be discarded. It is necessary to extract a reasonable grain from it and "bring it to reality." The rationale for the “aliens will fly in…” option is that to solve your problem you need external help from someone who has resources and technologies that are inaccessible to you. Obviously, you can hardly get enough of the aliens, but you can try to find someone more accessible and turn to him for help.

General recommendation if you have a difficult decision

If you have a difficult decision to make and feel like a dead end, stop! Pause. Consider that perhaps the way you are trying to make a decision is not working. It might make sense to try to solve the problem in some other way. A new way of making a decision doesn't have to be very complicated or super-creative. Just try it differently, and everything will work out for sure!