Three Mistakes Of Parents Of Preschoolers. Don't Do That! - Society

Working in a psychological center provides a unique opportunity to observe not only children with similar psychological difficulties, but also their parents. Such observations reveal interesting trends in the modern upbringing of preschool children. I want to share three such trends.

In my opinion, these tendencies are rather negative, although perhaps this is too prejudiced against the trends of the new time. However, judge for yourself.

1. Do not play (or play very rarely and for a short time) with the child

Unfortunately, today parents are increasingly trying to replace live communication with their child by trying to buy off new toys from him. The rooms of modern preschoolers are increasingly reminiscent of the warehouse of a toy store. But in the midst of this abundance, there is still a crying child who sticks to his parents and demands attention.

And parents do not want to understand in any way that having even the best toys will in no way teach a child to interact with them (i.e. play)

Initially, the child learns to play from adults, and a little later from peers. It is the parents who must organize and start the game; to show clearly how to handle toys. The child receives the first "schemes of play interaction" and the first positive emotions from play exclusively with the help of his parents.

Already in the process of the game itself (when it is mastered and becomes habitual), the initiative must be imperceptibly placed in the hands of the child. It is he who decides how the roles will be distributed (who will be whom), how the game (plot) will unfold, what the rules will be, how and when the game will end. Gradually, the child will learn to play on his own, and will even begin to drive away the parents who interfere with him. But this will not happen right away, and wise parents should "take themselves out of the game" gradually.

2. Buy and read overly complicated books

Surely you have seen on TV some program about talented preschool children, where another child without hesitation listed the names of several hundred dinosaurs or identified the flags of dozens of states. In fact, there is nothing outstanding here, such "talents" are based on simple rote memorization, which is well developed in almost all preschoolers. It is enough just to buy a thick book with bright pictures about dinosaurs for a child, read only it for 2-3 months, and a sensation is ready: "The child prodigy knows all dinosaurs!"

But the problem is that a preschool child does not need a sensitive period (increased ability to assimilate and memorize new information) to memorize the names of hundreds of extinct reptiles. You need to replenish your vocabulary; you need to expand your understanding of various communicative / social situations; you need to master different dialogue strategies.

The preschooler's sensitive period should be filled with knowledge and skills that will first of all help him in further socialization: in communicating with unfamiliar adults and with peers, in playing and learning, in expressing his own desires and emotions

So in order to "pump" all of the above, the child needs to read not just another narrowly specialized encyclopedia, but fairy tales. Or at least fiction stories by contemporary authors, appropriate to the age of the child. Even if these books seem too primitive to parents, without such a base the child risks growing up as a "social dinosaur."

3. In any incomprehensible situation, include cartoons

Today, parental forums and groups in social networks are very popular, where young parents of preschoolers write about their difficult parenting share. About how they get tired of constant children's problems and whims. On one of these forums I came across a meme: “In any incomprehensible situation, turn on cartoons!”, And a picture where a motionless child is watching TV, and tortured parents behind him can finally relax.

Indeed, cartoons are a reliable narcotic means of "turning off" preschoolers and schoolchildren. Like any hard drug, it is addictive the first time; dependence progresses at high speed and requires a constant increase in the "dose"; it is almost impossible for a child to recover from this addiction. As soon as your child learns how to use gadgets (according to studies, today this happens at 5-6 years old), and as soon as he has uncontrolled access to gadgets (this happens a little later, at 6-8 years old), consider that the patient (with computer addiction) is ready.

Do not think that the author is proposing to ban cartoons and hand over all gadgets to junk. It is important that in "incomprehensible situations" cartoons do not replace live human sympathy and emotional support from loved ones

And it is better to watch cartoons not in "incomprehensible situations", but just like that, for pleasure. And it is better to do it on a schedule and dosed (10-15 minutes per day), and together with adults to discuss, empathize, and be aware of the interests of your child.