Where Are My Woman's Things ?! - Relations

I've been living with a guy for seven months and constantly bump into some small things of his ex. At first, I asked him as gently as possible that he look through all the lockers, all the nooks and crannies and somewhere other people's things … But things are still there! I love and value this person, I do not want quarrels! I think it's silly when the past influences the future. But these findings upset me very much. Socks, stockings, elastic bands, hairpins, cosmetics … The last straw was the contraceptive pill. I don't know how to react. It's already hard for me to close my eyes and laugh it off … If the young man was a sloven, everything would be clear. But in other situations, he will double-check everything a thousand times, and his pedantry upsets me even more

Irina, 27 years old

Question from the discussions in the group of the magazine "VKontakte"

Irina, apparently, you are a correct and reasonable person, otherwise cosmetics, pills, stockings and rubber bands could fly to your beloved. You did the right thing, not rolling up scenes of jealousy, but trying, on the contrary, to maintain a close and warm relationship. As I understand from your words, you live with a young man on his territory. Seven months of life together is enough time to stop being shy.

It would seem that a simple question arises: why not clean up properly? I cannot but recall a case from my practice, in which everything was the same - they simply got rid of the pretty old things of my ex-wife. But in your case we are talking about a pedantic, scrupulous, attentive man. A pedantic man loves order both in business and in things, and things in his house are of special value and need for him. Everything that lies in the apartment of a scrupulously neat man is dangerous to touch and move. And, of course, it makes sense to discuss everything with him in advance, having developed a plan of action predictable for him. And yet, let's not get away from the main question - "Why does your boyfriend need his ex's things?"

Unfortunately, the answer is: "He has not forgotten her and clearly needs her." In this case, it is difficult to assume whether he is waiting for her return, but the fact that his ex-girlfriend lives in his heart is a fact.

In your case, there is at least one good option. Having nevertheless tidied up his home, look at his reaction. If everything goes well and calm, then you can only rejoice for you, but in the event of his rage, indignation and exclamations "Where are my ex-woman's things ?!" it is worth asking yourself the question: are you ready to live with a person in whose heart, alas, you are not?