Do You Like Suffering? Moral And Physical Injuries - Relations

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

My daughter was beaten by a young man, so much so that they took her away in an ambulance and removed her spleen. The first thing she asked when she woke up after anesthesia: "Tell Pasha that everything is fine with me." I'm desperate. What needs to happen for my child to finally understand that they can't date this guy anymore?

Alexander, 47 years old

A terrible situation, like any event associated with injury or injury to your child …

Parents who ask what to do in such, and even less critical, situations generate strong empathy, as well as compassion for a child who does not want to see reality. They are helpless in the face of the injustice of the world, the confusion of their son or daughter, their own despair and questions to themselves.

• Why couldn't they give their child confidence in their own abilities?
• Why is their child, who seems to love his abuser more than his parents, so blind and weak?
• How can you make him happy?
• How can you help, and most importantly, change, fix what has already happened?

But it is really necessary and possible to change something. Such a difficult situation is not only the result of an imperfect relationship between a girl and her lover, the cruelty of one and the forgiveness of the other. This is a deep psychological trauma and addiction of a girl who needs the help of a specialist, and immediately.

This event is a consequence of a serious psychological problem of the girl, which appeared much earlier. The psychotherapist should, if possible, help the whole family and influence the girl's relatives so that they work as a team against the person who caused such serious injuries. And most importantly - against the destructive force within the girl, directed against herself, because this is an even more serious and insidious enemy on the way to positive changes.

Of course, many parents are convinced that evil is only outside, and simply seek to distance, eliminate or punish the offender, hoping that the child's attachment will pass over time. Perhaps it will pass, but nature does not tolerate emptiness, and depression or addiction can settle in the empty space, which will take other forms.

The girl's psychological development has already taken place, and its restructuring is impossible even with the strong desire of the child's parents or even herself, this is not just a matter of reason and will. But the correction or reconstruction of psychological development, and therefore personal, sexual, social, is possible only with the help of an experienced psychotherapist who will never give a quick and easy answer in this situation.

There is a way to explore psychological depths, inner prohibitions, secrets and desires, ideas about love, about good and evil, about crime and punishment, about good and bad deeds, about goals and aspirations in relationships and self-realization. It is the creative work of the psychotherapist with the patient and preferably with his parents, his support, work with symbols and images, art therapy and group therapy at the final stages that helps a lot.

This will raise a person above a particular problem, increase the value of his own life and shape his future, define the boundaries of his own personality and separate it from another person.

Great parental love, participation in the life and fate of your child, observing delicacy and reasonable intervention, sometimes works miracles and cures ailments, but let's not rely on a miracle when your loved one is in physical danger. Such problems exist and need to be discussed. They can arise between a man and a woman, parents and children, bosses and subordinates, that is, in relationships where there is somehow emotional, physical, sexual or social dependence.

It is very important to let the child understand that he is heard, loved and protected, but only so that later he can defend his interests on his own - this is love

Now you can strongly recommend the author of this question, the dad of the injured girl, to refrain from emotions, words and actions containing prohibitions and threats, and contact a specialist with whom your child will like to cooperate.

It is important to limit the meetings between the offender and the girl, creating, even if invented, but compelling reasons for the absence of a cruel lover: rest, rehabilitation, punishment by law enforcement agencies, business trips, family circumstances, and so on. Such a temporary lie … For good.