Table of contents:
- It's okay that we make mistakes in relationships. Most of them can be forgiven or forgotten and live on: as they say, we passed. But there are mistakes that lead to dire consequences and even destroy relationships. I would like to warn women against making such mistakes
- 1. Blow below the belt
- 2. Confession of treason
- 3. Comparison with other men
- Black list
Video: Three Irreversible Mistakes Of Women In Relations With Men - A Man's View - Relations
It's okay that we make mistakes in relationships. Most of them can be forgiven or forgotten and live on: as they say, we passed. But there are mistakes that lead to dire consequences and even destroy relationships. I would like to warn women against making such mistakes
1. Blow below the belt
After the explosions of passion have died down and the intimate life of the couple has become commonplace, not always everything goes smoothly. Fatigue, stress, unpleasant experiences negatively affect the attraction in men, and can also cause problems with erection. When a man misfires, the woman sometimes responds with criticism or ridicule, disappointment or resentment.
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All of the above are wrong reactions. They reduce a man's self-esteem and confidence in his abilities, contribute to the appearance of a disorder called "anxiety expectation syndrome of possible failure." This is when a medically healthy man is so worried “what if I can't?” That he has problems with erection.
It is correct the first time to ignore the "failure" altogether, as if nothing terrible had happened
Rather than criticizing your husband for this in any form, it is much better to reassure him, reduce the significance of the awkward situation for him, and show tenderness. And only if the failures are repeated several times, then it makes sense to offer to talk about it.
It is also necessary to talk in those cases when a woman does not receive satisfaction in sex because of her husband's selfish or inept behavior. However, even then, it is better to choose and maintain a calmly friendly tone of conversation and seek a constructive solution to the problem rather than arouse guilt and shame in your partner.
2. Confession of treason
The practice of spousal counseling leaves no chance to look at what is happening in marriage with optimism: we have to admit that we are living in a time of adultery. Why this is so is a question that requires separate consideration, but for now we simply state: today a couple has little chances to live even to a wooden wedding, let alone a tin one, without an extramarital affair with one of the partners.
We have already talked about the reasons why men have lovers and for what reasons women have lovers. Now let's touch on the mistake that some unfaithful wives make. Feeling their guilt for treason, they confess it to their husband "to clear their conscience" or proceeding from the principle "to lie is bad, to tell the truth is good."
In an effort to free herself from negative experiences in this way, a woman does not really care about what her husband will do with this truth, how he will live with it
Often, such confessions have not the most beautiful motives, for example, "let him also feel how bad I was." Yes, he will feel, and what will happen next? Have you taken into account the option of divorce with all the ensuing consequences?
Having received a message from his wife about her infidelity, the man finds himself in an extremely difficult and painful situation. Thinking about a wife having sex with another man is crazy. It is very difficult to forgive and live on together. A powerful blow was dealt to men's self-esteem, self-esteem; self-esteem is wounded, a feeling of inferiority appears.
Not every exposed infidelity ends in divorce, but the scar on the soul and negative consequences in the marital relationship remain forever
Therefore, an unfaithful wife should think many times before admitting an extramarital affair if her plans include preserving the family.
3. Comparison with other men
Remember how your mother told you: "Look how neat Masha is, and you got your hands dirty again!" Comparison of ourselves with others has been hammered into us since childhood. Thanks to parents, educators, school teachers. As adults, we constantly compare, without thinking about whether it is correct or appropriate.
Many wives try to force their husbands to do something through scandals, sawing, grunting, reproaches. And another commonly used method is comparing a husband to another man.
Typically, when the model with which a comparison is made is the wife's father: "My dad could fix everything in the house, not what you!" It doesn't matter that the husband is a famous scientist, whose works are published and cited in prestigious foreign publications. If you do not know how to use a drill, the comparison is not in your favor.
The most common parameter for comparison is money. Here the comparison is made with the husbands of friends, colleagues of the husband, acquaintances of the same age.
The most painful area to compare is sex. The benchmark is often a former sexual partner
Each person has their own vulnerabilities, but money and sex play an important role in self-esteem and self-esteem for most men.
A woman makes a dangerous move, comparing her husband by these parameters is not in his favor. Not being able to make enough money, not being able to satisfy the wife sexually are hard blows.
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Even in cases where a woman applies them, wanting not to humiliate her husband, but to push him to solve problems, this is a wrong action. It is demoralizing, not motivating. Motivates support, joy of small successes, expression of confidence that the beloved man is capable of new feats.
Black list
The considered three mistakes do not exhaust the list of actions of women destroying relationships, including marital ones. We will mention a few more.
- The habit of getting what you want in a scandalous-conflict way. Tantrums, violent quarrels, or, conversely, ignoring a man are bad ways to resolve painful issues.
- Another bad but common way to express your "phi" is to refuse sex as a punishment.
- Ingratitude. Women often do not show appreciation for what a man does for her, for the family. “It should be so,” such ladies think. And in vain.
- There are women who seek to remake a man, get rid of traits of his character that are unpleasant to her, and instill in him qualities that are pleasant to her. Alas, such alterations are a utopia, leading to tension in relationships. Something, of course, can be changed, but in general you need to learn to live with the person you are.
- Intolerance, perfectionism, maximalism. Some women are too demanding of men, do not forgive them for their imperfections and mistakes. It is very unpleasant for a man to live in an atmosphere of ill will and picky.
