What Are Our Feelings Silent About? And Where Are They Hiding - Self-development, Society

One of the differences between humans and animals is the ability to experience emotions and feelings. But the more humanity lives, the more it depends on the concepts "accepted" and "not accepted", "it's a shame", "don't whine!", "You're a girl!", "Be a man" and so on …

As a result, from childhood we get used to it: there are "good feelings" that can be shown, and there are "bad" ones that need to be hidden. Feelings as strong as pain, sadness, anger are not welcome in the era of "positive thinking".

Anatomy of emotions

Survived a difficult divorce? "Forget it, live on." Lost a loved one? "Hold on, be strong and don't get hung up." Offended? "Don't try to cry, not a child already." Are you angry with your father, mother, husband, child? "Aren `t you ashamed!"

As a result, we ourselves forbid ourselves to experience and show “unwanted” feelings. Only they do not go anywhere. Not being realized, they accumulate within us or manifest in a destructive way.

In addition, it is impossible to forbid oneself to some feelings without ceasing to actively feel others. It is like a "switch", which, having switched to the "no" position, practically deprives a person of adequate emotional reactions to what is happening. There are no good and bad emotions, they just exist and that's it. And they arise in addition to our conscious control and will. And they have a right to exist.

Where are they hiding?

Expressing feelings is essential, especially negative ones. Imagine what would happen to the body if we forbade it to fulfill its natural needs and all waste products would have no way out?

The natural process cannot be fooled: it needs a way out.

With prolonged suppression of feelings, one of four options occurs:

• 1. Sooner or later - when the “that” last drop comes, they will flare up like a volcano, and suddenly and in the wrong place. And the person will look inadequate, ruin relationships with others, earn a reputation for being unbalanced and feel guilty. And a nervous breakdown can also happen. In general, nothing good.
• 2. They will go deep inside, creating tension and blocks in the muscles and organs and leading sooner or later to psychosomatic diseases.
• 3. Begin to manifest in the form of neuroses and fears, perfectionism, excessive control, increased anxiety, irritability, depression, callousness, inability to experience joy, chronic fatigue and self-doubt. These are usually signs of unconsciously repressed feelings.
• 4. “Reincarnate” in dependence (alcoholism, drug addiction, shop-, sex-, labor- and other “holisms”), which destroy the personality.

Holding back feelings and emotions, especially those socially disapproved of, is simply harmful to the physical and mental health of a person.

Eco-friendly living

On the one hand, the reaction to a certain situation is natural, on the other, it should not harm others. Allowing yourself to experience feelings does not mean that you can be rude, "dump" everything on other people, break down on loved ones, swear, seize emotions with sweet or drink alcohol.

There are many ways to express your feelings constructively, living them in a sustainable, safe way for yourself and others. It all starts with the realization: "now I am angry because …", "I am sad because". Sometimes the statement of this fact for oneself already gives relief. And then you need to deal with your feelings.

How to experience joy and happiness? Even “good” feelings are suppressed by many according to the grandfather's principle “one should not be very happy, so as not to grieve later”. The positive must be lived in full: if you want to cry with happiness - do not hold back your tears, if you want to laugh - laugh at your health.

Even if out of nowhere a sexual desire has arisen, you do not need to suppress it in yourself, you can feel it inside yourself and feel comfort and pleasure.

An easy and effective way to safely release it is to consult a professional. And you cannot do without this if you have suppressed your emotions for a long time. But it is possible and necessary to independently learn to express negative feelings correctly: by relieving stress, not to harm others.

• Keeping a diary - any writing technique is very helpful in getting rid of negativity.
• You can “live” through the body - dancing (especially good are those in which there are many taps - the negative goes into the ground), gym, fitness, boxing, running. Massage is very good, it relieves deep clamps in the body, and all of them are unlived emotions.
• Physical labor and handicrafts: we experience emotion through our hands.
• The "classic" method, proposed by Louise Hay, is to beat the pillow. Pound until you feel empty inside.
• Speak out. It is advisable for a psychologist, but if there is a loved one who is ready to listen, it is possible for him.

Consent with yourself

If you feel pain, don't run away from it or ignore it. You need to go to meet her and dive as much as possible. Survive her. Only in this way will you get rid of it and feel relief.

In this we have a lot to learn from children: they sincerely rejoice if they have fun, cry if they are sad or offensive, try to "attack" if they feel anger, and show tenderness when they feel it. They do not keep emotions in themselves - they share them with the world and do not get stuck. And this is a great way to maintain peace of mind and feel the fullness of life