"I Can't Accept My Husband's Departure!" If The Husband Fell In Love With Another - Relations

There was trouble in our family. We lived together for fifteen years. And suddenly the husband met another woman, fell in love with her passionately. This nightmare lasts for nine months. Now the husband lives with his parents, drinks, lost weight, he says, even his legs began to be taken away from grief. That woman is married, her husband was told everything. She is not released from her family. My husband wanted to marry her, and now he is crying and cannot live without her. He comes to me and tells me how he loves her, how good she is. Fifteen years of life are crossed out in one fell swoop. My husband doesn't even look at me. I realize that I am indifferent to him. I understand with my mind, but I cannot accept with my heart. I still hope for something, but after such conversations I cry and fall into depression. I destroy myself. What do i do?

Anastasia, 36 years old

Do you really believe that "fifteen years of life are crossed out"? Or are you grieving over the loss of a relationship with someone who has been so close to you for a long time? Why are you letting him in with stories about "another wonderful woman"? Are you trying to be good to him this way? But at what cost?

It is the fact that you continue to participate in all this that etches your wound of humiliation. You know, in everyone's life there are situations when we are rejected, abandoned, betrayed. Usually it hurts very badly, but without it there is no life. Our first move is to take the blame on ourselves. There - "a good woman", which means I - "bad." And this, of course, kills our sense of self-worth.

I sympathize with your situation and suggest that you pay attention right now to your pose. How are you sitting now? If you are hunched over and your head is pulled into your shoulders, begin slowly, paying attention to your breathing, to straighten your back. Straighten your shoulders, give volume to your lungs and heart. Try to find some comfortable support for your back while keeping it straight. And when you straighten up and stand with your back and shoulders straightened, notice what feelings and emotions begin to rise in you.

The loss of a loved one or the loss of a significant aspect of the relationship, such as trust (in case your husband comes back to you), is always pain. It is very strong at first. But, like any pain, it passes over time. Think about who can support you, help you during this difficult period.