Good Intentions, Or What Is GHS - Society

Socialization is a competent, correct personality formation with the aim of harmonious functioning in society. A person enters the social environment, understands and accepts its social norms, rules and laws. Mastering the knowledge and skills that ensure a harmonious life in society and self-confidence. But male and female socialization occurs along different paths. We acquire stable gender stereotypes in the process of growing up. The sources of ideas are, first of all, parents and other adults who are significant for the child, the informational field in which the child grows up. Persistent gender stereotypes (including GHS) can lead to serious problems in adulthood.

ZHGS - female gender socialization is a set of rules and laws that should guide a girl on the only correct path in life and make her successful and happy

Is it really? How can HGS harm?

Basic postulates of the WGS

Women's gender socialization inherently reflects and sets the rules of patriarchy. This is not due to problems and gaps in parenting. It is believed that society is based on certain principles that must be accepted in order to exist harmoniously in it.

1. WGS - to give in and adjust. "You are a woman, be patient" (c). Struggle, self-defense, device of the surrounding reality for oneself - this is male gender socialization. A woman is essentially weak and needs protection and patronage.
2. The desire for nepotism, to be with a husband, not to arrange your life on your own. WGS is to find a man and inspire him to create a family and arrange a common life.
3. The woman is the keeper of the hearth, muse, mother, beauty. A man is a breadwinner, hero, genius, professional. With such patterns, a woman simply cannot be sure that she can achieve anything from the "world of men."
4. WGS - to be feminine. Anything that goes beyond "weakness and yielding" is unfeminine and therefore wrong.
5. Whatever a woman does, except for her direct purpose (mother, wife, keeper), it will not be good enough. Just because she is a woman, which means a priori weaker / dumber / worse.
6. ZHGS - to please everyone. Therefore, it can be difficult for a woman to resist something, such an attitude takes away strength and the desire to defend herself.
7. WGS - the end does not justify the means. A woman is empathic, compassionate and prone to feelings of guilt in any conflict.
8. ZHGS - to be economic. Despite having a job for a woman, household chores, cooking are exclusively female responsibilities.

With good intentions …

From early childhood, the girl diligently and diligently tries to meet the expectations of her parents (educators, teachers). She absorbs the set of rules of the WGS and diligently follows them. She studies well, does not reread with her elders, does not fight and does not enter into conflict, is silent when it is necessary to fight back, and pleases all those on whom she depends in childhood. And then, when the girl grows up, problems begin.

An adult girl is unable to make a decision (because it was decided for her). She cannot leave an unloved job and an unloved husband (after all, marriage is a good goal of a woman's entire life). She feels flawed if she has no children. Of course, all this is a direct consequence of female gender socialization. Working with a psychotherapist allows you to pull out from the depths of your subconscious the attitudes that have been introduced with such care since childhood.

The consequences of WGS can be as follows:

1. Suppression of anger. Such an attitude is given by the mother, who herself barely coped with her negative emotions. Suppressing anger, suppressing negativity is a direct path to psychosomatic diseases.
2. Internal ban on entertainment. “I don’t know how to rest” - because you were not allowed to do this with the help of certain manipulations. You were not forbidden, but also disapproved. How can you watch a movie when your parents are working hard? The feeling of shame when you were the last to wake up is also from here. And now, as an adult, you cannot feel the joy of simple relaxation - just lie down and read for 15 minutes, just walk alone and breathe. And if you do this, then you do it with a glance - suddenly they will see and again silently condemn.
3. Permanent one-sided relationship. This comes from one of the WGS guidelines - a girl should help everyone. As a child, you did just that: you ran to your grandmother with groceries, pulled a classmate with a poor student, who was seated with you at your desk in a load. And now you have to figure out where your help becomes excessive, and learn not only to give, but also to receive.

Despite the many persistent gender stereotypes, ideas about the ideal woman and the ideal man are fluid and can change. One of the reasons for the change is the feminist movement. That is why a woman today has the opportunity to study and work where she wishes, to marry of her own free will and choice and to have as many children as she sees fit. And nevertheless, due to GHS, the girl still does not have sufficient support from significant adults.

Women are less likely to become big figures in the field of science and business, less often they become presidents, because since childhood the WGS has denied them leadership and a brilliant career future. Often the girls' talents and hobbies are simply ignored, directing her in the "right" direction - "why do you need this professional sport, better learn to play the piano."

Already an adult woman may herself not notice how the attitudes to which she was accustomed from childhood control and govern her real life. And then it is very important to realize and analyze personal experience - what and how we were told in childhood, to critically assess our behavior and actions, to listen to ourselves more and not to ignore our needs.