Table of contents:
- A huge number of myths of popular psychology are concentrated around love relationships. And we will debunk some of them. Living with illusions is pleasant only at first, and then very painful
- 1. The myth of a worthy partner
- 2. The myth of all-consuming love
- 3. The myth of serious intentions
- 4. The myth of a sense of duty
- 5. The myth of an eternal relationship
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A huge number of myths of popular psychology are concentrated around love relationships. And we will debunk some of them. Living with illusions is pleasant only at first, and then very painful
1. The myth of a worthy partner
Each of us dreams of an ideal. The trouble is that in a romantic period, under the influence of a hormonal storm, we see ourselves, a loved one and our relationship with him as unreal, endowing them with a special illusory status. In fact, the ideal partner is the one who takes your imperfection for personality. The one who understands that it is necessary to love a person with disabilities, but not enough, one must also endure.
2. The myth of all-consuming love
Many believe that love should be given all of oneself. Carefully not noticing that all-consuming love absorbs the "lesser" of the partners. In this case, one satisfies his appetite, and the second - the desire to be absorbed. The strongest alliances arise when partners have a common love for one of them. True, this relationship cannot be called happy and fulfilling. This is a dependent relationship.
3. The myth of serious intentions
One side always has serious commitments, while the other has expectations. How can we do without it? A "real man" must by definition. Love as a state can quickly get rid of a wealthy man. Each woman makes a list of his debts depending on her needs and fantasies. Fortunately, these debts are pleasant.
4. The myth of a sense of duty
The constant pursuit of a sense of duty in a relationship can lead in the end to a nervous breakdown. And then - either to church, or to a psychologist, or to a pool … But more often people simply turn off their sensitivity. If it is impossible to influence loved ones, then they become free, including from intimacy. The slave of love squeezes out marital debt drop by drop, and having squeezed out and becoming completely free, it turns out to be no longer necessary for the partner. He was only interesting in an interdependent relationship. Such a reliable, conservative person will never allow himself or you to change.
5. The myth of an eternal relationship
Just as in physics, in relationships, the inventors of the perpetual motion machine of love are those who do not recognize the laws of physics. Only those who do not know the laws of love can give a lifetime guarantee for a perpetual motion machine. A person cannot love if he has no right to “not love”. Once you deprive your partner of freedom, your relationship is already an addiction, not love.