Table of contents:
- From childhood, your parents taught you that only back-breaking work can be earned, success comes only to those who day after day cultivate their garden or pore over textbooks at night, which, as you know, is nowhere without difficulty? And if suddenly you succeed in something easily, so - it's lucky! And you believed it and still believe it? Congratulations! You can definitely be called an impostor
- RAT CHUCHUNDRA
- THE KEY TO FREEDOM
Video: Chuchundra's First Step. What Is "impostor Syndrome" And How To Deal With It - Image
From childhood, your parents taught you that only back-breaking work can be earned, success comes only to those who day after day cultivate their garden or pore over textbooks at night, which, as you know, is nowhere without difficulty? And if suddenly you succeed in something easily, so - it's lucky! And you believed it and still believe it? Congratulations! You can definitely be called an impostor
In the mornings I sometimes wake up with fear, with numb cold hands, sweating and with a rapid heartbeat. On such days, the reluctance to go to work outweighs all the positive emotions from the new day. Yesterday I completed my half-year report and put it on the executive's desk. And today everyone will know that I “do not understand anything in my work”, that I am not in my place and deceive everyone around with my alleged ingenuity and genius. Although to prepare this report, I rummaged through hundreds of reference books, other people's research and conducted my own, checked every comma. Or let's take another similar situation: I give a lecture to students, they listen carefully, even take notes, but suddenly my confident speech stumbles over a completely ridiculous thought: do they really believe in what I am saying now? I thought it all up! I'm not a real teacher. Now I want to crumple up the lecture and go there, no one will see me. This is not the first time this happens to me, although I regularly speak, write reports as usual, and I am more often praised than scolded at work.
The good science of psychology, in this case, found me an "excuse" for such general human conditions (as it turned out, they manifest themselves more often and to a stronger degree in women than in men - a study by P. Clance and S. Eames "Impostor syndrome in women with high level of achievement: dynamics and therapeutic intervention "(" The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention "), 1978). It was in him that a new psychological term was first introduced - "impostor syndrome". According to research from 2018, between 54 and 93 percent of professionals suffer from it at certain points in their careers, especially in programming, medicine, the humanities and show business
But there is good news as well. First, talented people with great opportunities usually consider themselves "impostors". They say this syndrome is the flip side of genius. Secondly, it is quite possible to put the "impostor" inside yourself in place and not let him influence your behavior - I know from myself. Prior to studies carried out in Russia in 2018 (I. G. Malkina-Pykh), it was believed that "impostor syndrome" is inherent only in women and that it leads to mental personality disorders (Western researchers have repeatedly considered this syndrome in their works in this very aspect) … However, it turned out that this is a character trait, and it manifests itself from childhood in both men and women. Exactly the same as punctuality, hyperresponsibility, perfectionism. The closest in describing the manifestation of the "impostor syndrome" to the manifestations of ordinary self-doubt:anxiety, depression and frustration about not being able to live up to your inner standards. And psychologists reassured that this is not at all paranoia and not a mental disorder, this is just a neurotic state, the only way out of which: you need to believe in yourself and you should respect yourself. The lifesaver here can be the understanding that the task could be set incorrectly, it is impossible to foresee all situations, there is always a “human factor” of both interference in the process and the assessment of the result. And yet another 2017 study gave the world the scientific assumption that there are at least two types of "impostors" - true and strategic. The latter are generally cunning - they themselves have a high opinion of their abilities, but in the eyes of those around them they underestimate it in order to lower the “threshold of expectation” - they say, do not think too well of me. And the second type is characterized by the delegation of their powers to someone who will definitely not be able to cope, in order to “correct” him later, thereby achieving in the eyes of the leadership an increase in his assessment and status. This is a loophole to use your shortcomings to your advantage.
RAT CHUCHUNDRA
It is curious that there is a literary character that clearly fits the description of a person with such a syndrome - this is the Chuchundra rat. She was afraid of everything, and most of all that they would see her, appreciate and understand that she was just a gray rat, so she never crawled out into the middle of the room.
Chuchundra is by no means a positive character. Therefore, it is worth getting rid of this complex. Plus, the middle of the room isn't that awful. If you think about it, then there is more light, and space too. First, you should admit to yourself that you are afraid of your own victories and achievements. Most often, the cause of this complex is from early childhood. There is a so-called substitution effect. For example, all relatives literally prayed for one of the family members, and they were constantly put to you as an example. God forbid, if this someone left for various reasons or died altogether, you will be persistently offered to “take his place”, but not to be “yourself”, but just “to imitate another”. The second reason is the "family myth" about the "right way of life." From infancy, you can instill in a girl that she is complete perfection and nothing like that exists,whatever she couldn't handle. All the time to tell her how unique she was in early childhood: she learned to speak and read in infancy, knew poetry by heart, and so on. If suddenly she does not succeed in something, then she will be very surprised. Over time, the girl will realize that she cannot really do whatever she wants. But she will feel that she has to live up to the family's admiration, but because her parents praise her for everything indiscriminately, she will become distrustful of their praise. Then she will begin to doubt herself, gradually forming the belief that since it does not work out without effort, then, probably, she is not really any genius, which means she is an impostor who only pretends to be smart. Finally, the “impostor” complex is found among those who were often criticized by their parents in childhood, rarely praised, and made excessive demands on them. Over the years, children have grown into super-demanding adults, primarily towards themselves. And all it was worthwhile to understand that even science clearly defines - there is no right way of life and cannot be. An interesting story about this phenomenon is told by a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, Irwin Yalom, with whom I managed to talk personally and discuss some aspects of the life of the "impostors." His opinion can be found in the book “Group psychotherapy. Theory and practice". “At the first meeting, the members of the group were asked to write on a piece of paper anonymously the very thing that they least want to talk about in public. It is striking that the answers were almost the same: a deep conviction that a person is inadequate, does not understand the main thing and that he does not live, but only skillfully bluffs. "And all it was worth understanding that even science clearly defines - there is no correct way of life and cannot be. An interesting story about this phenomenon is told by a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, Irwin Yalom, with whom I managed to talk personally and discuss some aspects of the life of the "impostors." His opinion can be found in the book “Group psychotherapy. Theory and practice". “At the first meeting, the members of the group were asked to write on a piece of paper anonymously the very thing that they least want to talk about in public. It is striking that the answers were almost the same: a deep conviction that a person is inadequate, does not understand the main thing and that he does not live, but only skillfully bluffs. "And all it was worth understanding that even science clearly defines - there is no correct way of life and cannot be. An interesting story about this phenomenon is told by a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, Irwin Yalom, with whom I managed to talk personally and discuss some aspects of the life of the "impostors." His opinion can be found in the book “Group psychotherapy. Theory and practice". “At the first meeting, the group members were asked to write on a piece of paper anonymously the very thing that they least want to talk about in public. It is striking that the answers were almost the same: a deep conviction that a person is inadequate, does not understand the main thing and that he does not live, but only skillfully bluffs. "An interesting story about this phenomenon is told by a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, Irwin Yalom, with whom I managed to talk personally and discuss some aspects of the life of the "impostors." His opinion can be found in the book “Group psychotherapy. Theory and practice". “At the first meeting, the members of the group were asked to write on a piece of paper anonymously the very thing that they least want to talk about in public. It is striking that the answers were almost the same: a deep conviction that a person is inadequate, does not understand the main thing and that he does not live, but only skillfully bluffs. "An interesting story about this phenomenon is told by a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, Irwin Yalom, with whom I managed to talk personally and discuss some aspects of the life of the "impostors." His opinion can be found in the book “Group psychotherapy. Theory and practice". “At the first meeting, the group members were asked to write on a piece of paper anonymously the very thing that they least want to talk about in public. It is striking that the answers were almost the same: a deep conviction that a person is inadequate, does not understand the main thing and that he does not live, but only skillfully bluffs. "“At the first meeting, the members of the group were asked to write on a piece of paper anonymously the very thing that they least want to talk about in public. It is striking that the answers were almost the same: a deep conviction that a person is inadequate, does not understand the main thing and that he does not live, but only skillfully bluffs. "“At the first meeting, the group members were asked to write on a piece of paper anonymously the very thing that they least want to talk about in public. It is striking that the answers were almost the same: a deep conviction that a person is inadequate, does not understand the main thing and that he does not live, but only skillfully bluffs. "
THE KEY TO FREEDOM
Real impostors are a kind of calling. A person chooses a role for himself and a character that he wants to be - and he becomes. “You can pretend to be a master of any business and cope with it. It doesn't matter if you know how to hypnotize or not. Back home, just pretend to be a hypnotist, write yourself speeches and broadcast them everywhere. People will follow you and begin to pretend that they are immersed in a trip. And after some time they will get tired of doing it and they will forget that they are just being used to it. " For me, this thought of the American psychiatrist Milton Erickson became the key to freedom. Freedom from the eternal horror that now the deception will be revealed and everyone will turn away from me with the words “we thought you were like that, but you were like that …”. And I began to pretend. Journalist, writer, psychotherapist, consultant, group leader, business woman, healthy,beautiful and happy. I started to engage in new types of creative and sports activities. And every night I repeat to myself: “Applaud, you played your own role today like no one else. Brilliantly! Airy! Confidently! " Yes, I still prepare for each stage. But this is not only me, my professional hero shares with me the responsibility and joy of a job well done. The main thing is that people believe in it. And they read, admire, praise my style, recover from psychological trauma and conclude contracts with me. This means that I play well, study and can teach others. I prepare for each stage the same way. But this is not only me, my professional hero shares with me the responsibility and joy of a job well done. The main thing is that people believe in it. And they read, admire, praise my style, recover from psychological trauma and conclude contracts with me. This means that I play well, study and can teach others. I prepare for each stage the same way. But this is not only me, my professional hero shares with me the responsibility and joy of a job well done. The main thing is that people believe in it. And they read, admire, praise my style, recover from psychological trauma and conclude contracts with me. It means that I play not badly, study and can teach others.
