Pages Of The “ex”: How To Stop Following Someone Else's Life - Society

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-11-27 12:13

“Half a year ago I parted with my beloved, but still every day I go to his pages in social networks, follow his life, read statuses, look at photos (where he is with his new girlfriend). I understand that it only torments me, but I can’t help myself.”

Oksana, 27 years old

Oksana, isn't it how much easier it would be if you simply didn't have access to information about his current life? If you didn’t know in which networks he is registered, or there would be no pages at all where he shares personal details … Then, perhaps, there would be a chance to recover from the breakup in less time and move on. But let's think about how to come to our senses in modern realities.

To begin with, let's turn to the very expression: "come to your senses." How are you feeling? What do you do? Do you take care of your health and appearance? Are you making an effort to build your privacy? Coming to your senses means, it seems to me, to restore balance in your routine and emotional state.

This may seem like a trivial piece of advice, but think: what if not digging into your ex's news feed, but filling your free time with sports, good films and books, real people who want to be with you? Try to start small, as always. The next time your hand reaches out to click on his profile, go get yourself a warm bath or pour yourself a cup of aromatic tea instead. Taking physical action to keep yourself comfortable will help you activate your common sense and stop harmful actions.

If you don't have the strength to tear yourself away from the monitor, go to the next tab in your browser for at least five minutes and, for example, put on the download of a movie that you have wanted to watch for a long time. Urgently type in the search box instead of a social network an interesting news site or the name of your favorite blogger. Go to an online store and think about what item is most lacking in your wardrobe. In general, distract yourself and fill your time with things that make your own life, if not happier, then at least more enjoyable.

Try to make such distracting maneuvers at least once, if you are used to regularly flipping through photographs that are painful for you. As with any other bad habit, trying to eradicate this behavior at once is unlikely to be successful. But I would suggest not to make yourself special indulgences: six months is already a serious enough time to reflect on what is happening.

Love and the hopes associated with it, as well as resentment and the pain associated with it, go away for a long time and not always without a trace. These big emotions need to be expressed, transformed, and shared so that they stop driving your behavior

Try creative expression techniques such as drawing, writing, or even dancing to express your longing for what you have lost. Alternatively, take a positive approach and write yourself a motivating message about where you want to go in 5-10-15 years to help you prioritize and make it easier to leave all setbacks in the past.

Finally, if your social circle and personality allow it, try to be less alone. Live human communication, understanding, and emotional contact of any kind is the best medicine for mental pain.

Photo: © katalinks / Photobank Lori