Rating Of Reasons For Adultery. Statistics And Top 5 - Relations

Unfortunately, they usually turn to a psychologist after the betrayal has taken place and can no longer be hidden. An open conflict begins in the family, relations are on the verge of disintegration, and it can reach adultery. Keeping a family in such a situation is problematic, and all that remains is to say the sacramental: "Well, where have you been before ?!"

According to various studies, only a very small percentage of cheating happens on impulse. Stories like “met by chance; there is a flame of passion; and then everything happened”are good for TV series, but in life the share of such betrayals is only 5-7%. As a rule, readiness to cheat matures over time, and a variety of reasons can lead to cheating.

Here is a ranking of the most common causes of adultery. It is based on my practice as a family psychologist.

1. Revenge, retaliation

Interestingly, often real betrayal is a response to a fictitious (unconfirmed) betrayal of a loved one or to his / her too frivolous behavior with members of the opposite sex.

2. Self-affirmation

Such betrayal happens when one of the partners experiences an inferiority complex in marriage; deeply feels his inconsistency (emotional, sexual, role, etc.). Moreover, the spouse usually actively supports this inferiority complex, constantly belittling the partner. In such adultery, sex is usually not the main thing, emotional warmth and support is sought.

3. Disappointment

Cheating happens when a previously loved one begins to be perceived as "empty space." The partner no longer meets our core needs. The positive emotions that used to bind us fade away, and only boring everyday monotony remains. When disappointed, cheating is often a trial balloon, an attempt to find a new partner (to replace the old one) for a long-term relationship.

4. Cheating as medicine

Every person, to one degree or another, has fears associated with physical wilting and death. They are especially strongly actualized in the second half of life; and also if we are faced with a serious illness and / or injury. In such situations, cheating is a way to feel alive and "at least for someone attractive" person.

5. Entertainment, recreation

Spouses may have different values and attitudes regarding how much sex in marriage should be strictly private (only between spouses) or open relationships outside of marriage should be allowed. If these settings match, then there is no problem. But if one of the spouses believes that he has the right to the left (for the sake of new impressions and relaxation), and the other is categorically against, then problems and conflicts cannot be avoided.

Forewarned is forearmed. Knowing the most common reasons for cheating, you can analyze your current relationship. And if you are at risk, then it's time to do something - improve the relationship or break it up - without waiting for unpleasant surprises like adultery.