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6 Negative Relationship Scenarios. Why Love Turns Into New Pain Every Time - Relations
6 Negative Relationship Scenarios. Why Love Turns Into New Pain Every Time - Relations

Video: 6 Negative Relationship Scenarios. Why Love Turns Into New Pain Every Time - Relations

Video: 6 Negative Relationship Scenarios. Why Love Turns Into New Pain Every Time - Relations
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In a psychologist's office, you often hear a question that reveals pain and a sense of injustice. It sounds something like this: why does my love and relationship turn into suffering and disappointment every time? Consider options for negative relationship scenarios

There are several answers to this question, but the most important, in my opinion, lies in the realm of the unconscious. Throughout life, many of us seem to be attracted to certain situations, certain people with certain character traits and reactions. We choose the format of relationships that is associated with a painful part of our psyche, a part of our traumatized self, our neurotic character trait. We repeat the negative experiences of childhood or adolescence, and then we wonder why the next relationship ends in rupture and disappointment.

Our psyche is strongly influenced by the experience of relationships with significant persons in childhood. The fate of drives and character is formed on the basis of this experience. I will highlight six negative relationship scenarios that I have met more than once in my life.

6 negative relationship scenarios

1. Masochistic-sadistic relationship

When a person with masochistic tendencies enters into a relationship with a sadist, psychopath, narcissist. In a relationship, he suffers, makes it possible to humiliate himself, endures violence, but at the same time something holds him back for the time being. It can be a thirst for thrills, unquenchable hope, admiration for someone else's power, strength and beauty.

2. Masochistic-sacrificial relationship

It's a constant savior game that becomes a way of life. A person saves his partner, usually a weak, infirm, often alcoholic, while he believes in his mission and proudly carries his sacrificial cross. This format of relationships is often found among psychologists, and among those who always choose partners prone to depression.

3. Hysterical-schizoid relationship

When a person chooses a relationship at a distance, often in the form of a guest marriage or virtual correspondence. Usually, this behavior hides the fear of intimacy, which is found in people with hysterical and schizoid character traits.

4. Hysterical-narcissistic relationship

When both partners are strongly fixated on someone else's attention and care. They love to be in the spotlight, we can say that they have an eternal unquenchable thirst for recognition. The tragedy is that they lack this in a relationship and sooner or later they will start looking for attention on the side. This format of relationships is accompanied by betrayal, jealousy, resentment, but it attracts many with an increased level of passion and adrenaline.

5. Compulsive-hysterical relationships

When a woman falls in love with a married man all the time (or a man with a married woman), or when she is simply drawn to treason. No matter how much your close partner loves you, you still want to sleep with another, defiantly change or quit. At the same time, they cheat more often with the person who does not love and appreciate as much as the first partner, wife (husband). Of course, this is completely illogical, but character is stronger than common sense.

6. Narcissistic-detached relationships

When a person uses a partner as a trophy. He does not want to love, he wants to win someone else's love, body or attention in order to amuse his sick ego. For such people, appearance, money, status are much more important than the content of relationships, love and intimacy. Perhaps there is not even any interest in the person here, only there is interest in one aspect.


The biggest drama is that people who play out their negative scenarios don't learn from their mistakes, don't learn from their love failures. Often they don't even know what's going on. It is important to emphasize that there can be several negative scenarios, a person can change them throughout life or reproduce one or two scenarios over time. In such a relationship, there is rarely true intimacy, but often manipulation and violence.

We often love not a real person, but an image in our head. Many girls in each new relationship "fall in love" with their fathers, brothers or significant people from childhood. We are talking, of course, about the image of the ideal partner, which is formed in childhood. At the same time, they close their eyes to the real nature and actions of the partner. It all ends in tragedy.

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