Fears Come From Childhood. What Do They Mean In Adulthood - Society

Fear is a basic emotion, an inner state that is caused by the threat of perceived or real disaster. Of course, fear is a negatively colored emotional process. Fears of children are very common. Children's fears are often overlooked, because children are always afraid of something. At a younger age, these can be negative characters from fairy tales - Barmaley, Baba Yaga. Schoolchildren are often afraid of getting a bad grade for which they can be scolded, teenage fears are more often associated with publicity and recognition in society. All these fears are natural and logical. But this does not mean that they should be underestimated.

Childhood fears can lead to adult phobias, which will take a long time to work through. Therefore, the fears of your child must be carefully considered

Causes of children's fears

1. Family

Oddly enough, the most common reason for the strengthening of seemingly simple childhood fears is family. This does not mean that the child first felt fear in the family, it means that the family, without knowing it, helps to strengthen it. Excessive attention or lack of attention, anxiety of parents, quarrels - all this is "heard and seen" by a small child.

Children's fear provokes and strengthens:

• too authoritarian family,
• loneliness, lack of communication with parents,
• frequent punishments
• overprotective,
• unfavorable situation in the family.

It all depends on the parents. By reviewing and changing your own behavior and lifestyle, you can help your child deal with their fears properly.

2. Physiological causes

Children's fears depend on many factors:

• age - the younger, the worse;
• hypersensitivity;
• trauma;
• lack of physical activity and hypoxia;
• gender - boys are less afraid;
• the age of the parents - late children are more often overprotected, and the anxiety of the parents is high;
• heredity.

Children's fears do not develop solely for physiological reasons, there are certainly other factors.

3. Psychological reasons

These can be traumatic situations that provoked a strong fear in the child:

• an insect or animal bite;
• antisocial adult behavior, adult hysteria or panic
• death of a relative;
• accident, fall from a height;
• conflicts in the family with loud screams.

In such cases, a lot depends on the parents. If they can provide the child with a calm environment, a sense of security and peace, can distract and turn his attention to something else, the fear will very quickly pass.

Types of Childhood Fear

Conventionally, all children's fears can be divided into 2 groups: instinctive and social.

Instinctive fears are:

• fear of death;
• fear of getting lost;
• fear of darkness, depth, height;
• fear of confined space;
• fear of the elements (for example, fear of water);
• fear of animals and insects;
• fear of doctors (simultaneously with fear of injections, the sight of blood).

Social fears are:

• fear of loneliness;
• fear of judgment and punishment;
• fear of ridicule.

As a rule, the simplest and most common childhood fears, which adults do not pay attention to in time, can develop into phobias and cause a lot of trouble.

Fear of the dark

Probably, there is not a single parent who would not persuade the child not to be afraid, giving reasonable arguments about the safety of the house. But the child still asks to leave the lights on and refuses to enter the dark room. The fact is that behind the fear of the dark lies the fear of the unknown. The child needs visual confirmation of his thoughts, despite the child's ability to imagine. He needs to see with his own eyes, even if the child knows that familiar objects are waiting for him.

If the fear of the dark is devalued and ignored, the adult is left with the fear of the unknown. This leads to apathy and withdrawal.

Fear of getting lost

Most often, this is a condition imposed by the parents. Children are often told: "be in sight, otherwise you will be lost", "be in sight, so that I was calm." That is, it is primarily about the interests of an adult. Endlessly pronouncing the "get lost" attitude, an adult inspires the child with the idea of always being in sight. And then everything will be all right. Growing up, such children are sure that their well-being directly depends on their popularity. They try to “be in the public eye” by all means, including those discordant to society. With such a pathological desire for popularity, healthy socialization does not occur. In essence, a person is still “lost” in the crowd, remains alone.

Fear of death

Often, a child has to experience the death of a relative at a fairly early age. The main thing that parents need to remember is that children do not need to be taken to funerals and commemorations. In such a situation, several factors fall on the fragile child's psyche at once: unknown, incomprehensible situation, atmosphere, behavior of loved ones. The child realizes that something bad and irreparable has happened to a loved one (for example, with his beloved grandmother), but does not understand why. What if it was because he did not obey? While adults are busy with their experiences, the little person's world turns upside down several times and comes an acute fear that this could happen to anyone. In adulthood, this leads to the desire to "burn" life, unnecessary risk. All this happens because a person who experienced the fear of death in childhoodit is necessary to feel every day alive and unharmed, to prove it to yourself in all possible ways. The problem of alcoholism and drug addiction is also closely related to childhood fear of death.

Fear of being rejected

Another common emotional state “from childhood”. Many factors contribute to the emergence of such fear, the main of which is the attitude towards the child in the family. Rejection by their own parents, the constant devaluation of children's problems and experiences leads to the fact that the child begins to feel alien and unnecessary not only in the family, but also among peers. Adults who have grown up with this attitude feel unworthy of attention and love, they are afraid of the condemnation of society. They try to attract as little attention to themselves as possible, isolate themselves from society. This condition often leads to depression.

Find and neutralize

One way or another, we all grow up with our childhood fears. To minimize their impact on adult life, parents need to be able to pay attention to them in childhood, not to dismiss or ignore children's messages.

Even the simplest actions that do not require labor can change the child's attitude to their own fear. How to help:

• Buy a plush toy - a friend and tell a story that it will always protect the child.
• Talk to a child heart to heart, tell a little about yourself. In general, pay more attention to the child.
• Draw, sculpt with the child. Offer to draw someone who scares.
• Always talk about what is around. Don't ignore the questions "why is the sky blue" and so on.
• Redefine the family environment. Solve conflict situations.
• Avoid overwork in a child, reduce stress.
• Monitor sleep and rest.
• Spend time together more often.

And of course you can't do the following:

• To be ashamed and laugh at children's fears: "You are already big, but you are afraid of the dark", "Don't make up your mind, all this is nonsense."
• Ignore watching aggressive films and computer games.
• Emphasize and remind about fears.
• Call names and punish: "Oh, look what a coward is growing."

The family is the first and most important social group in the life of every person. We are all sometimes annoyed by the fears of our children, they seem to us stupid and naive. But it must be remembered that problems that began in a family environment are quite difficult to eliminate in adulthood.