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Seeing Is More Important Than Being - Self-development
Seeing Is More Important Than Being - Self-development

Video: Seeing Is More Important Than Being - Self-development

Video: Seeing Is More Important Than Being - Self-development
Video: Why self improvement is ruining your life 2023, June

For a long time, research has been carried out in Europe to form an idea of what values are most important in modern life. The questionnaires included such positions as “look good”, “seem attractive”. The performance for these positions was almost overwhelming. For many participants in the study, these values turned out to be more significant than health, family well-being, the fate of loved ones and the ecological situation.


The motivation of demonstrativeness is one of the most important, through which we realize many other needs.

For example, those in authority are realized through signs of high status in dress and behavior. Creation of an atmosphere of reverence and fear, demonstration of power and influence are also very attractive and frequently encountered motives of a public performance. On the other hand, self-deprecation is designed to be compassionate and expect help and protection. (one)


There are, however, situations where a demonstrative desire becomes important in itself. In modern culture, there is a serious struggle to simply show yourself, to make you the center of attention. This is not least due to the huge role of the media, the transformation of the world into a “big village”. Demonstration has become more than just a path to power. The presence on TV screens or pages of magazines is, in fact, power. It is measured by the number of the audience, various rating indicators. To be in the focus of public attention, to become famous, or, in very simple words, to "light up in the box" is a motivation that dominates itself. A person who finds himself in the field of a television camera lens transforms, waves his hand at the camera, sends air kisses and is ready for a lot,to be in the frame again.


There are parts in the structure of our personality - deep, inalienable, true. They are called differently: the self, the true self, the core of the personality. However, there are also some formations that are turned outward, to other people. These parts often do not reflect the reality of our personality in any way. These are masks. They help us portray a lack of feelings where we experience them. Show those feelings that we cannot experience. The opinions of all psychologists on this matter are unanimous: the more “masks” there are in a person, the worse it ultimately affects his mental state, mental comfort, and personal growth.

Modern psychologists talk about the desire to be a person as an independent, very important need. The real self demands to be taken seriously.


It is impossible to be a person without a personal value system. These values must be realized and presented. However, in our culture, there is a certain gap between what is considered "authentic" and what is associated with expression, external. In fact, our true values are those that we inevitably want to present to other people, these are the ones that underlie our everyday communication. It is very difficult to live by some values and present completely different values to other people.


It is impossible to find the boundary between the experience itself and its external image. The most superficial things turn out to be the deepest. At the same time, the very desire to show anything - it does not matter, advantages or disadvantages - is a self-sufficient fundamental human need. This need underlies many of the phenomena of his behavior, while the infringement of this need is the main cause of a wide variety of mental disorders and life problems.

Our psyche is highly demonstrative. This is especially evident in those moments when we are left alone with ourselves. We always continue to show and explain something to someone.


Personal development is not least of all getting used to your role, creating the proposed circumstances and scenography. We not only interact with images, we conflict with them. Remember anecdotal everyday situations like shopping “to spite” neighbors, competition of secular stars for attention to your person.

Image improvement is the driving force behind personality evolution. What we call personal growth ends when a person stops thinking about the impression he is making. However, even a lack of attention to their appearance, a careless appearance or, for example, a woman's lack of makeup is not a consequence of neglecting her image. On the contrary, if embellishment is absent where it should be, we can deal with a particularly striking, conspicuous performance. Only the play is different. This play is about trouble. The neglected appearance calls for participation, help.

To be noticed, one had to somehow strengthen their messages outward. If the tragedy of isolation is that “no one hears you,” then a demonstration just helps to overcome this. A good performance (not necessarily noisy and colorful) is always a means of effective communication, a way out of loneliness.


However, it is necessary to distinguish a performance from a masquerade. The play takes place against the background of an unchanged identity. Personality, while preserving its authenticity, only cares about the means of expression for its presentation. The peculiarity of the masquerade is that there is an identification shift. Sometimes the shift is total, so that a person is able to wear only masks, depending on the environment in which he finds himself.

In such cases, we can talk about the Zelig syndrome, so designated by the name of the hero of the film of the same name by Woody Allen. Zelig is known to change his appearance depending on which company he got into. So, with the Chinese, he turned into a Chinese, with psychiatrists - into a psychiatrist, with the Nazis - into a Nazi. Most often, a masquerade is required where the means of expressiveness are insufficient, emphasizing the natural face of the individual (the image with which a person is always identified and without discomfort). The task of the therapist in such cases is to replace the pathological (masquerade) demonstration with the normal one.


Demonstration is closely related to sexuality. It is no coincidence that in situations where the participants in a sexual encounter are not constrained by anything, they often do not limit themselves to simple intercourse, but tend to arrange something like a performance. The situation of the so-called normal sex is characterized by constant gazing at each other. Eyes, hands, lips, ears in this context turn into a kind of "probes", video camera lenses, and partners act both as actors and as spectators at the same time.

Going to a brothel, a man seeks for himself there not only new instruments of pleasure, but also a new audience. Brothel, generally purchased sex, as you know, is not only naked intercourse. Everyone knows very well that brothel numbers almost always serve as a kind of theatrical stage. Here, as you know, the viewer is bought, but at the same time a sexual and stage partner.


Artistic practitioners at all times played the role of an outlet in society, leaving space for the realization of demonstrative desires.

An exhibitionist is simply doing what, deep down, is inherent in people with so-called normal sexuality. He exposes not so much himself, his "shameful parts" as hidden, repressed, but at the same time quite powerful desire to demonstrate himself. Artistic practices - and this can be considered a commonplace - are exhibitionistic in the full sense of the word.

They are based on the struggle for presence, the right to demonstrate, privilege. Take a room where people come to stare at you, seduce those who write about it. Many factors are built into this competition.


The deepest thing is that which has undergone the most intense repression. Repression is associated with repression. The deeper the repressed, the correspondingly more intense the emotion that accompanies the demonstration of this repressed.

We are obviously motivated in our actions by the desire to look good, and so that as many people as possible can observe us.

The famous phrase “The whole world is theater. In it, women, men - all actors …”- becomes one of the main aphorisms reflecting the essence of modernity


Vilyunas V. K., Kravchenko A. S.

Motivation of demonstrative behavior // Modern psychology of motivation / Ed. YES. Leontyev. M., 2002. S. 122 - 151

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