Bringing Misfortune. “My Husband Was Electrocuted, But I Was Accused Of His Death” - Society

I have lived in the city of L. for many years, my entire adult life, our town is small, everyone knows each other, but the opinion of me is absolutely terrible, and I myself am afraid to admit it to myself. The situation is as follows … I got married out of great love, we lived very well, but one day my husband left for work and never came back … He was an electrician, and he was electrocuted, words could not convey my condition, I could not find a place for myself. All his relatives accused me, they say, I, such and such, bring misfortune. I didn’t work when I was married, we lived on my husband’s salary, but it’s time for me to feed myself, I got a job in a local store. But a week later there was a robbery, the owners again accused me and fired. It was very difficult for me, and then I met a good person, we began to live together. Six months passed, and he fell ill, he was admitted to the hospital, the condition is very serious,the diagnosis cannot be made. Maybe he got sick because of me? How to live now? I'm afraid of everything. I feel very bad. Am I really bad luck?

Anna, 43 years old

In order not to go into an archaic folk mythology about "corruption", "evil eyes", "curses" and the like, with which, unfortunately, many people instantly associate such situations, I will immediately begin to answer your first question: "Maybe did he get sick because of me? " Maybe because of you. Everything can be in this world. Absolutely everything - especially for a person who is used to putting himself in the center of this world. Does great love arise - it arises for the reason that you are worthy of it. Does a great tragedy happen - it happens again because of you, but with a minus sign - you are not honored with anything, except that you are able to "bring misfortune." But in any case - how can it be without you? As without water - neither here nor there … It is impossible to hit an electrician with a shock, rob a store, or get to a hospital without your participation. No way - that's all!

Reading the letter, I just can't get rid of the inner image of a nimble girl who cares about everything. She desperately needs to be aware of all the main events and in the center of everyone's attention. The whole world is like a big stage for this girl, and no matter what her role is - romantic, tragic, dramatic or comic (however, the latter option is usually less desirable in such situations) - it is important that this role is the main one! So that laughter, and tears, and delight, and reproach, and pain, and joy, and admiration, and indignation refer to her, were directed at her. So that the audience emotionally reacts to her every step, intonation, change in facial expressions as sensitively as the orchestra reacts to the slightest wave of the conductor's baton.

Let's follow the script. Of course, the main character gets married for great love. It simply cannot be otherwise - who needs a performance without great love? And, of course, according to all the laws of the dramatic genre, this love is suddenly and irrevocably interrupted, so much so that “words cannot convey the state” of the “no place for herself” (obviously on stage) of the main character. Of course, her suffering is amplified simply by delusional reproaches against her: his wife is to blame for the death of an electrician from an electric shock. It is she, "so and so, brings misfortune." The woman is to blame for everything! It was she who plucked the sinful fruit and seduced Adam! On her fire, under the burqa, to the very social bottom … No? Okay, good - to … the kitchen.

And in order for such a "feminine" role to make the maximum impression, at least a little mystical coincidences must be added to the absurdly delusional elements of the script. Of course - a robbery! And just when the main character “the time has come to feed herself,” right a week after the life-saving job. Oh, the script is taking a decidedly detective turn. And again the absurd accusations of the protagonist are heard, who will soon have nothing left but "deservedly" to take them at her own expense with her mind, clouded from the blows of fate.

But one cannot “stop halfway”, the viewer must experience the drama in its entirety. And here is the last hope for salvation, a straw in a violent storm of collisions of fate - a meeting with just a "good man" and a quiet life together with him. But the ending should be vague and, again, a little mystical, because only the mysterious ending will leave the viewer in extreme tension for a long time. Therefore, “the condition is grave and the diagnosis has not been determined” … Now the main emotional vector is directed to the very center of the stage, to the heart of the emotional drama, to the decisive sigh of the main character: “How can I live now, because I'm afraid of everything? I feel bad - do I really bring misfortune?"

Not a single more or less reasonable literary critic will answer such a question literally (obviously, the psychologist will not do this either), since the answer to it is the entire preceding performance. Since the days of Shakespeare, we know that the main question is always hidden in feelings, and there we should also look for the answer: To be, or not to be? So am I really bad luck?

In short, Anna, you bring misfortune to others as directly and obviously as you kill electricians at work, rob shops, or infect familiar men with diseases unknown to science. At the same time, you portray your misfortunes just fine. Continue writing literary scripts, perhaps this is your purpose, and most importantly - do not be afraid of anything (this is the answer to your second question), because every writer inevitably brings at least a particle of personal life experience into his works.