Table of contents:
- We are hostages of our instincts, which for many millennia helped us to survive, and emotions that often take over our consciousness and determine the vast majority of actions. The reality has changed, the threats of the wild world have replaced the danger of the digital world. New laws of survival are rapidly evolving, while our instincts remain rigid enough to help us survive without our knowledge. What is needed to bridge the gap between the desired and the actual, to gain understanding of others, and how not to become a hostage of an emotional program that has not had time to renew itself ?
- Why we find it difficult to control emotions
- What is emotional intelligence
- Self-knowledge is the key to understanding others
Video: How Understanding Others Can Help You Find Your Way To Your Own Success - Self-development, Society
2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18
We are hostages of our instincts, which for many millennia helped us to survive, and emotions that often take over our consciousness and determine the vast majority of actions. The reality has changed, the threats of the wild world have replaced the danger of the digital world. New laws of survival are rapidly evolving, while our instincts remain rigid enough to help us survive without our knowledge. What is needed to bridge the gap between the desired and the actual, to gain understanding of others, and how not to become a hostage of an emotional program that has not had time to renew itself ?
How we would like to go through life easily, to fully control work and personal relationships with the people around us. Don't get depressed or hysterical. And it would also not hurt to expand the circle of friends, strengthen ties with loved ones, and make new acquaintances at lightning speed.
If an active and prosperous life is your choice, it is important for you to pay attention to the development of your own emotional intelligence
However, to better understand what emotional intelligence (EQ) is and why high levels of it can help you avoid many problems, let's turn to the nature of things.
Why we find it difficult to control emotions
One can be deeply mistaken in believing that the intellect can control everything. In 2003, the famous neuroscientist Antonio Damasio proved that our brain makes absolutely all decisions based on the emotional background. In other words, you can give different answers to the same question for yourself, being in different emotional states.
The fact is that emotions are older and more important than reason, and in the evolutionary process this function was formed earlier than all already developed intellectual processes. This is where most of our instincts are woven, which was imperative for us to survive. These motivators force us to follow the behavioral pattern that has worked best throughout human evolution, contributing to the conservation of the species.
For example, His Majesty Fear makes us not to climb into the cave to the bear. This system works because nature has provided us with three "layers" of consciousness. One of them generates and shapes emotions. It is called limbic or simply emotional. He is responsible for social behavior, because it was important for our ancestors to unite in order to survive in a world full of danger, to feed and raise their offspring.
This ancient and primitive area of our thinking works almost automatically, reproducing programs that have been worked out for millennia, where control was not meant to save energy
The scale of awareness and the degree of control over the limbic region of the brain is called emotional intelligence (EQ). In our time of total automation, interpersonal communication becomes one of the key skills, because this skill does not lend itself to machine processing. What else but contact with oneself and understanding of others can lead to a harmonious and balanced life ?! Also, the inability to understand the emotions of others easily explains the question: why are we ineffective leaders or why it is impossible to manage a team, to be a successful leader and leader.
What is emotional intelligence
The founder of the term, well-known psychologist Daniel Goleman, based on thorough research, proved that the level of emotional intelligence is a determining factor in how high you can climb the career ladder, how strong and harmonious your relationships with people of your circle will be. Moreover, EQ directly affects a person's feeling of happiness, giving this concept a breadth and versatility.
In other words, the study of one's emotional palette and the subsequent development of one's own emotional intelligence makes a person happier both through sensations and through the acquisition of new material wealth. Everything happens as a result of improved relationships with people at work and on the personal front. After all, now they hear you, and you play on their emotions, as if on a piano.
More specifically, at present, psychologists have agreed on determining the level of EQ by the presence of the following abilities in a person:
- Self-knowledge is the ability to identify your emotions, understand the motivation for your actions, predict the emotional background that will surround a person when achieving his goal.
- Self - regulation - the ability to control your emotions, restrain impulses.
- Self - motivation - managing your behavior by subduing your emotions.
- Empathy - empathy, understanding of others, and the ability to take into account the understood feelings of others in your actions.
- Social skills - the ability to build relationships with people and influence the emotional state of others.
Self-knowledge is the key to understanding others
Of the abilities listed above, self-knowledge is the most valuable for enhancing emotional intelligence. This is what is under our control.
The topic is so vast and versatile that you need to make a small remark. We will consider the term solely as an understanding of our own emotions, their shades and reasons. The level of knowledge acquired can be called internal EQ. The division of this concept into internal and external, in my opinion, is the most effective way to improve a person.
Understanding other people, successful external interaction with them is impossible without knowing all the intricacies of your inner emotional world
Feel your emotions, recognize their nuances, learn how to manage them, and you will discover amazing opportunities and powerful tools for moving up the social ladder. Mastering these skills will allow you to experience less stress and find inner support, learn to take responsibility for your life and manage it yourself. In other words, to thoroughly feel yourself, to become closer to yourself. Harmony with yourself is the key to the resource state.
You can find out your inner EQ on your own using proven techniques such as the Hall test or Goleman's emotional intelligence test (the author of the book of the same name).
If you see a growth zone for yourself in this, daily work on yourself will not keep you waiting long for results. It is possible to develop this ability. The daily practice of "feeling diary", "gratitude diary" or "emotional awareness" are the best tools for knowing yourself. However, do-it-yourself enthusiasts should be warned that such exercises must accurately meet the individual characteristics of the human psyche. Therefore, it is best to consult a professional.