Victory And Defeat. How To Teach A Child To Experience Failure? - Society

How sweet is the taste of victory! Many people purposefully go to it, sometimes in dishonest ways. But in life, everyone cannot be a winner, and a loss happens. An important quality is the ability to lose and be happy for the winner's success! How can parents help their child learn to do this?

1. TO BE THE SAME EXAMPLE

How do parents themselves react to their loss in life? And when something doesn't work out? Remember how you react to a colleague's promotion? Do you rejoice for your friends when they go on vacation in Bali in winter? What feelings do you have at this moment? Is it a feeling of joy, or does irritation and envy rise in you?

To teach a child, an adult needs to understand himself and be a personal example. It is important to understand your mistakes and pass this knowledge on to your child. Be natural and calm in the game, you should not play along with the child every time, so he will not learn to lose, and the loss will become unbearable for him.

2. ENJOY THE PROCESS

Of course, getting a positive result in a business or a project is important and pleasant, and losing is demotivating. But what if you shift your focus to the very process of achieving the goal? You can enjoy every step of the work, highlight the amazing little successes throughout the project. And if you work in a team, then celebrate successful moments with praise from each participant in the process. Especially if it is a child, because he is just learning.

Pay attention to your body when entering a competition or doing work. If there is tension in the body, then this will turn into a clamp and a body spasm, and on the emotional plane, a surge of emotions and tension in the form of a cry at loved ones is possible. If the parents are in tension, then the children feel it very well, and this is reflected in their psycho-emotional state and behavior. The most environmentally friendly behavior of an adult is when he is easily, calmly, with love and pleasure doing business. This is called the "state of flow", when a person, while doing interesting and favorite work, can forget about time and about lunch, he just enjoys the process.

3. PRAISE AND SUPPORT THE CHILD

Praise is a powerful motivation tool! Praise your child, even for small accomplishments. It is important to note those moments and places where the baby did the best. Of course, this does not mean that you need to admire and praise him for no reason. Highlight his perseverance, diligence, patience and ability to get things done. These are very important qualities that relate to volitional processes, they are formed in older preschool age. If an adult helped a child to train and successfully demonstrate his volitional behavior in play and play tasks, then it will be easier for the child to complete any, sometimes uninteresting and boring tasks at school.

4. BELIEF IN YOURSELF WORKS MIRACLES

A child who believes in himself will not be afraid of new tasks and situations, will not envy someone else's success, but, on the contrary, will be glad. Therefore, from early childhood, bring up in your child self-esteem and faith in yourself that he will succeed.

Give the child more independence, entrust the feasible work and do not do it for him, but accompany with a hint, support and praise in a new business without criticism. This is how the child will develop inner self-confidence.

5. ANOTHER'S SUCCESS IS INVOLVED

The ability to be happy for a winner when I have lost is a unique quality. To sincerely congratulate and share the joy of victory with your opponent is your own victory. So, a losing child can become a part of this victory, he will take someone else's experience as an example and motivation, that his capabilities and potential are also great. Any achievement is a work that must be respected.

Introduce a tradition in the family - after each game with the whole family, “redeem” the winner in applause and compliments.

6. RIGHT TO ERROR

Allow yourself and your child to make mistakes and do not "right", but in your own way, in a different way. Disconnect from perfectionism, these are just your ideal templates, another adult or child may have their own vision. A child needs negative experience so that he can imagine the consequences of his words and actions, so that he understands how to act in different situations.

Avoid phrases that can raise an insecure loser: "Not mature enough yet!" ".

7. Jokes ABOUT LOSING ARE INAPPROPRIATE

In no case should you joke, tease or mock the child's failure: "I told you that you will lose!" At such moments, your support is important for your baby. Your joint work on mistakes will be appropriate, you need to highlight the strengths in the child, understand and help him improve, train his weaknesses, find a special approach to his uniqueness.

Give your child examples of the failures of famous people in the world, when at first they were outsiders, and later, having gained knowledge, skills and experience, they became leaders and winners. Such examples can be found in cartoons and films for family viewing: "Kung Fu Panda", "Home", "Beethoven", "The Pursuit of Happiness", "Stars on Earth".

The primary attitude of a child to victory, loss, his own success, failure and mistakes is formed by the parents. Be a wise example to them. In life, it is important to teach children not only to win, but also to lose, to accept their defeats, failures and mistakes. This is how we help our children become happier!