Is There Life Without Sex? - Relationship, Sex

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

One of the important components of a harmonious relationship in a couple is intimacy. Sex is beneficial for emotional and physical health. With active sexual activity, the level of immunoglobulin is maintained at a high level. Blood circulation is normalized, which affects the work of many systems of the body - the blood is saturated with oxygen, memory improves, and the efficiency of the brain increases. The benefits of having a regular sex life are self-evident. But what to do and what happens when there is no sex? Is there life without sex? Is everything so bad and hopeless if the circumstances are such that you don't have any correct sexual schedule?

Scene one - asexuality

Asexuality is the definition or self-determination of people who are partially or completely not sexually attracted

Asexuality is not conscious sexual abstinence in the presence of sexual attraction. This is a lack of desire for sexual interaction, a life without sex. People who consider themselves asexual do not have an aversion to sex, do not oppose intimacy, and do not promote celibacy. This is not a story about complexes. Asexuals don't need sex. And this is not a deliberate decision, but an orientation that for the majority will seem different from the "standard".

Asexual people feel attractive to the opposite sex. Tactile contact, such as kissing, hugging, is as important to them as to others. But all of these expressions of intimacy have nothing to do with sexual attraction. Asexuals do not see the meaning, do not attach importance to sexual contact itself. Some of them do not need this, others may be unpleasant.

Why does this happen?

The reason for asexuality is not sex at all, as one might conveniently assume. Most often there are no traces from childhood, the consequences of a negative first experience or the fact of violence, although these reasons are not excluded by 100%. Asexuals do not suffer from their asexuality. Rather, they are uncomfortable and humiliated by conversations and condemnation of society, which cannot come to terms with their atypicality.

The environment is used to thinking that something is wrong with asexuals - for example, it is disguised homosexuality or frigidity, or secret complexes.

To make it easier to understand (and not speculate), asexuality can be divided into 4 types:

1. There is a sexual instinct, there is no attraction. People of this type know perfectly well that sex is enjoyable, but do not feel the need for it. Or consider it unpleasant for themselves. This can be compared to fishing or hunting: for some it brings pleasure, but for others it does not deny and understands, but does not need it.
2. There is a sexual attraction, but little or no instinct. Asexuals of this type fall in love, come together emotionally, spiritually. But do not feel the need for sexual intercourse.
3. Everything is missing - both attraction and instinct. Such people are capable of making sincere friendships, but not falling in love.
4. There is everything - both attraction and instinct. Desire is satisfied by masturbation, but sex with a partner is considered unacceptable for one reason or another.

Depending on the type of asexuality, its causes can also be identified. For example, in the absence of both attraction and instinct, a medical cause is likely - a malfunction of the thyroid gland, hormonal imbalance.

In some cases, psychological reasons are not excluded. Loss of some forms of sensation may indicate an injury or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Also, asexuals may adhere to certain moral or religious beliefs that prohibit sexual contact.

Scene two - celibacy

Voluntary or involuntary abstinence from sex is a topic that is more filled with stereotypes and myths than real significance. Each of us in life may have a period when we find ourselves alone with ourselves. Anything - temporary loneliness, divorce, prolonged meditation somewhere at the end of the world, having a child, stress.

During this time, nothing that is described in different sources will happen to a healthy body. Nothing fatal will happen to the nervous system, and the physiology will also remain unchanged. In this situation, the pressure is again exerted by the society with the favorite stereotype “everyone should have sex”. God forbid, you don't need it at the moment - you will most likely be diagnosed and convinced that something is wrong with you.

And here it is, fertile ground for complexes and a depressive state - "everyone is normal around, but something is wrong with me." And even if you lived perfectly for some time without sex, or sublimated activity into creativity, or prepared for sports competitions - whatever you want, and it was harmonious! - now you are ready to undertake rash actions, just to become "your" and "normal" again.

Scene three - there is a problem

It is important to understand that intimate life is solely your business, your body and care. It does not require any "help from the audience" or reading out the rules and regulations that have appeared from somewhere. It is important to be honest with yourself and a truthful answer to the question - "how do I feel without sex." If everything is fine, if you do not experience discomfort and emotional distress, relax. We are all different. That for one - a life without sex, for another incredibly rich sex life.

Another question is if forced celibacy bothers you, worries and you want to understand the situation.

1. There is no sexual relationship due to trauma. Thoughts about sexual intercourse lead to negative emotional experiences. In this case, it is best to consult a specialist. It is difficult to solve the problem on your own, and it will not go away by itself.
2. There is no sex because one relationship has just ended and you are not ready to start new ones. Let go of the situation and do not rush yourself or events. More stress will come from endless thoughts of "abnormality" and the need for sex. Your need now is to become aware of yourself in a new reality, eliminate stress and come to your senses. Everything will work out in the end, and so will sex life.
3. Physiological problems. Perhaps after a difficult birth, the mere thought of sex terrifies you. A woman may not feel the desire for intimacy within six months after giving birth - and this is within the normal range. The body does not have enough estrogen - in this regard, there is a tangible physical discomfort. If you are afraid of damaging your postpartum stitches, you can ask your doctor directly when to stop being afraid. In the end, you may be "not up to sex", you do not get enough sleep, you worry and get used to the new happy reality. Don't panic, everything will be fine.

Of course, sex is an important part of the relationship between a man and a woman. But, practicing a life without sex, consciously or forced to do without it for some period, one should not overestimate the possible consequences. Solve a personal problem when it is, not when society has informed you about it. If you have such a period in your life now, you can do a lot:

• Increase physical activity. The body will be in good shape, which, of course, your immune system needs.
• Being creative is the best way to sublimate your libido.
• Work out and get to know yourself better by visiting a psychologist or sexologist. Consultation with a specialist should not be neglected or underestimated. Perhaps this will be the best step towards realizing and reconciling with yourself.
• To enjoy life here and now is to learn the gift of being happy in the moment, without unjustified expectations and invented worries.