Cheating On A Loved One: Fight Or Let Go? Is A Fight For Love Necessary? - Relations

“This year my common-law husband and I rested separately. When he returned, he dumbfounded me by admitting that he loved another. Don't know what to do - fight for love or let go? It seems to me that it was a holiday romance, and there will be no continuation of the relationship with that woman. Resentment and anger gnaw at me. " Inna, 29 years old

Unfortunately, situations in which a life partner leaves for a new relationship are not uncommon. Accepting the fact of cheating can be excruciatingly painful. It is even more painful to realize the recognition that the spouse has fallen in love with another. A difficult period has come in your life now, when you do not know what to do right - whether to fight for a relationship or let your unfaithful husband go on all four sides. On the one hand, traumatized self-esteem and resentment interfere with adequate interaction with a man, and on the other hand, the fear of losing a loved one pushes towards the idea of reconciliation.

It's not clear to me what you mean when you talk about relationship struggles. In the heat of the moment, you can break a lot of firewood, which you then bitterly regret, without getting the desired result. Often, such a struggle is understood as active action and moral pressure.

It is extremely important for a woman that a man understands how much he betrayed her and what unbearable pain he caused. Tears, blackmail, intimate conversations are used in order to find out why the other is better and what, in fact, did not suit him in you

As a rule, a man rarely shows feelings of guilt. Instead of the expected repentance, the woman sees the exact opposite result - irritation and unwillingness to discuss the relationship, which makes her even more desperate.

When giving an ultimatum to a man, be prepared to break up. The partner can blame the woman for the fact that she began to devote less time to him, sexual intimacy has become routine and insipid, and the relationship itself is becoming obsolete. Even if there is a grain of truth in such confessions, the claims themselves look very childish and more like defense.

The fear of losing a loved one is often prompted to "fight for a relationship". In this case, women often begin to behave like rivals of the "homewrecker", try to "surpass" her, to be better, to please and please her spouse. As a rule, this method is ineffective, thus it is not possible to return to the old life.

When a previously stable relationship is under threat, it is perceived as a loss of life orientation in general. The feeling that the world has collapsed can unsettle a woman for a long time, so it is not worth making decisions when emotions are in full swing. At this stage, the task is to get out of the traumatic situation as soon as possible and with the least possible losses.

Do not delve deeply into what is wrong with you: there can be many reasons why a husband is interested in another woman, ranging from sexual interest to serious intentions. He himself still does not really know where this relationship will lead him

It took very little time to draw any conclusions. If this is passion, flirting, the husband will remain, and if he really fell in love with another woman, it will not be possible to make him return, no matter what you do. You will not be able to get into the head of your chosen one and understand his drives and motives, and therefore quit this activity.

Neutrality is the most reasonable position. So you give time to yourself and your partner to figure out what is happening and whether it makes sense to work towards maintaining the relationship or getting rid of it.

It is not easy to go through this situation alone, there is a high probability of getting stuck in experiences. Chat with friends, visit places that will help smooth out negativity and bring distraction into your life. Any hobby, training, new acquaintances can have a beneficial effect on your condition. Of course, this may seem difficult to implement, because in such a state of mind there is little that pleases. But you should not give up trying, sooner or later you will again begin to enjoy life. As Tchaikovsky said: “If you do not find in yourself the motives for joy, look at other people. Go to the people. See how he knows how to have fun, surrendering to completely joyful feelings. " This does not mean at all that you can "jump" over the feeling of pain or suppress it: you can only soften it.

Any breakup, temporary or permanent, is a loss. It has its own psychological stages that you have to go through. After the shock comes the stage of resentment and anger, exactly what you are experiencing now. These are natural and resource states. Rather, they can become so if you make an effort to move on.

Photo: © Iryna Hramavataya / Lori Photo Bank / PantherMedia