How To Deal With The Fear Of Death? - Self-development, Society

At the reception sits a middle-aged man, tall and strong. He is well dressed and just personifies the well-being of life. However, his story is full of anxiety and concern. The main fear that has recently prevented him from living calmly and happily is the fear of death. Let us examine what can be done with the fear of death

I want to say that it is normal to be afraid of death. We are all mortal; every minute that we have lived is also a minute during which we are approaching death. Nature arranged us so that our consciousness is more focused on maintaining life, and the memory of the hour of death remains, as it were, behind the scenes.

But there are moments in life (or even whole periods of time) when the consciousness of death sharpens. We are very keenly aware of our own finitude and frailty of being as a whole. For example, this happens when we lose someone close or familiar to us. In some cases, an aggravation of the fear of death occurs against the background of life crises, when “everything is bad around”.

There are many ways to respond to fear of death

Worst of all is surrender, when a person becomes passive and depressed, as if he is paralyzed with terror. The best response is active resistance.

What can be done to cope with the fear of death?

First you need to get to know your enemy better. In dialogue with the client, we find that his fear of death breaks down into three components:

• 1. Fear of illness and physical weakness.
• 2. Fear of "social death", ie. loneliness and loss of relationships with loved ones.
• 3. Fear of non-existence, complete disappearance of my I ("Here I die, and what will remain after me? Who will remember me at all?").

The fear of death turned out like a dragon with three heads, and in order to cut off each of the heads, we developed a separate plan of action.

First fear

The first manifestation of fear of death - fear of illness and bodily weakness - is the easiest thing. In this case, it is enough to undergo a comprehensive medical examination, identify the weak points of your body and include in your life healthy habits that protect your body from premature breakdown.

Physical infirmity is treated with any feasible physical exercise. The main thing is that all these healthy lifestyle activities are suitable and enjoyable for you, do not turn into self-torture. And believe me, as soon as you notice an improvement in your physical condition and general well-being, the fear of bodily / biological dying will become irrelevant for you.

Second fear

Social death can be defeated by strengthening relationships with those you care about and helping them to be strong and resilient. In our conversation, it turned out that for this man the fear of social death had two specific manifestations. First, he was afraid of losing his job, and secondly, he was afraid for his children, whom he considered insufficiently prepared for the threats of modern life.

The fear of losing a job is treated by realizing one's own professional worth. Moreover, an assessment of this significance can only be given by those with whom we interact at work - our colleagues, management, clients. For others to give us the highest rating “You are irreplaceable!”, It is important not only to improve your qualifications, but also to maintain good relations with them. In your professional environment, in the organization, you must be your own, respected and useful member of the team.

High status (formal and informal) in the team, plus unique professional skills - this is the best vaccination against fear of losing your job. It is clear that in the modern world no one guarantees anything to anyone. Your workplace may disappear, for example, due to the global economic crisis. But a professional confident in his skills and in his value will be able to overcome his fears.

Worrying about the future of your loved ones (in particular, children) is good and normal. The main thing is that this anxiety does not take unhealthy forms in the form of a desire to put children under lock and key, to forbid them everything, to control their every step. Children need to be taught to be strong and independent. And for this you need to learn to trust them, give them the right to make mistakes. At the same time, they should not act as a supervisor-supervisor, but as an assistant, ready to come to the rescue at any time.

And what is needed so that children can turn to their parents for help without doubts and fears? Yes, everything is the same:

• trust in the child,
• respect for his needs and interests,
• the ability to maintain communication on an equal footing (and not from top to bottom).

If a child feels that he is loved and understood, then in any difficult life situation he will turn for help and advice not to his friends from the backyard, but to his parents.

We will always worry about our children, regardless of their age (this is the parent's share). But the first step to making them really strong in the face of life's difficulties and threats still lies in building the right relationship with them - a relationship of love and trust. They are the best remedy for the fear of losing their children (literally or figuratively).

Third fear

We still have a third dragon head - the fear of nothingness. As Omar Khayyam said: “From the dust we came, the wind will take us away”. To feel like a grain of sand disappeared without a trace in the ocean of time is really scary. The main tool invented by humanity to overcome this existential fear is culture.

Many people limit themselves to a standard life program: give birth to a son, build a house, plant a tree. But how many years will this tree live, and how many years will the house outlive its creator ?! Alas, even the line of our kind can be interrupted in some world cataclysms. But the manuscripts don't burn! The most immortal thing that exists today is cultural objects. And not so much material (books, paintings) as ideas.

Do you want immortality for centuries? Create an idea

One that will outlive you and many, many more generations to come. If you cannot create an idea, then do an act that expresses / affirms some important idea for people. You cannot be Pythagoras, at least become a Herostratus!

This is, of course, a joke. But just in case, let me remind you that the name of Pythagoras will live for centuries if only because schoolchildren of all times and peoples will study the Pythagorean theorem. The name of Herostratus became a household name because he was in the 4th century BC. e. burned down the Temple of Artemis in Ephesus solely for one purpose - to be remembered.

Of course, in order to gain immortality on the scale of world culture, you need to be a person on a world scale. But cultural immortality can also be local … Look around you: what surnames do the streets of your city bear? To whom are the monuments erected in your settlement? On whose houses are the plaques hanging? Perhaps, among these heroes there will be a place for you …

In conclusion, I will add that it is very difficult to be a creator in the space of culture. Many simply do not see themselves in this capacity, do not realize. And it is also important to understand that the pursuit of glory alone is not an option (once upon a time Herostratus succeeded, but today it will not work any more). Contribution to culture is imprinted for centuries only when it is done for other people.