A Narcissist Hates To See You Happy - Relations

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

People with strong narcissistic tendencies find it intolerable to see the well-being of others. The narcissist feels that he deserves everything you have achieved because he is better than you. There are several reasons for this, and we will cover some of them in this article

First of all, true happiness comes from within. Narcissists are incapable of experiencing true happiness because they lack a sense of true self to a large extent, or even completely

As a result, they are chronically unhappy people, desperate to feel better, for which they constantly have to fight for their fragile and elusive self-esteem. They look for external stimuli that, in their perception, help them to raise their status: expensive things, sex, power, money, even family, etc. Unfortunately, this is not enough to feel happy. They don't understand that true happiness, contentment, and fulfillment come from within.

When other people are doing well, it reminds people with narcissistic tendencies that they are unhappy and deeply inadequate. People with strong narcissistic tendencies are not only unhappy, they feel they have a right to be happy. Therefore, seeing that someone is doing well, they feel envy and resentment.

The narcissist feels that he deserves everything you have achieved because he is better than you

Indeed, the more you have that he doesn't have, the more he feels that he is better than you and deserves everything you have. In other words, he feels that you don't deserve it because you are not him.

Because they have no empathy at all, narcissists either don't understand or simply ignore how hard others have had to work to get where they've been. Instead, they just look at you and think that you are not worthy of what they want. They assume that others are doing vileness and hypocrisy in order to achieve something - this is how they would or would behave themselves. This is called narcissistic projection. They cannot imagine that the other person is more talented, or works harder, smarter, or in some other way deserves to get what they want out of life without behaving as mean and destructive as they would.

Because of all this, they perceive the situation as dishonest and despise you for doing this, even though you did nothing wrong. Moreover, people with strong narcissistic tendencies often think in black and white: good or evil, winner or loser, better or worse, success or failure, weak or strong, and so on.

Therefore, in their eyes they look good, and the one who is doing well - bad. Moreover, if you are happy and prosperous, it threatens the narcissist's self-esteem, because he toxic compares himself to you. From his point of view, there are only winners and losers, and he doesn't want to be a “loser”. Because of his deep sense of insecurity, he doesn't want to appear flawed, not “better,” or worse than you.

Therefore, in order to "put you in your place", he will attack you, which will have the additional effect of "elevating" him

Again, he perceives the situation as dishonest and disgusts you. And you, meanwhile, are just living your life.

The narcissist also has a high tendency to experience what is sometimes called Schadenfreude. In German, this word means joy from harm. It describes “the experience of pleasure, joy, or satisfaction that occurs when a person recognizes or witnesses the misfortune, failure, or humiliation of another” [Wikipedia].

That is, he rejoices at your failures, pain, wounds. In his eyes, you deserve it for being "bad."

Narcissistic people are known to gravitate towards the sadistic pleasure they experience seeing others suffer or personally causing them to suffer

In more extreme cases, the evil narcissist will actively try to harm you. It is easy for these people to justify any of their actions with the help of their black and white thinking, projection, illusion and an obsessive need to assert their fragile self-esteem by any means.

They may try to undermine your reputation by defaming and defaming. They may try to boycott you, turn others against you, stalk you, threaten or intimidate you, and do many other things that narcissists do when they feel threatened.

Summary and conclusions

Narcissistic people hate seeing others happy. The reason is that they themselves are not able to feel real happiness

They will use various distorting illusions and excuses to explain why your happiness is an act of aggression against them. Sometimes they will even actively try to harm you and will call it noble self-defense.

Don't let the narcissist get to you. It is not a crime for you to be happy. Do whatever you can to free yourself and distance yourself from them. Angry people will always be unhappy, but you don't have to be.

• • Author: Darius Chicanavičius, certified coach
  • Translated by Kiril Melamud