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Will It Pass By Itself? 7 Cases When You Need A Child Psychologist - Blogs, Society
Will It Pass By Itself? 7 Cases When You Need A Child Psychologist - Blogs, Society

Video: Will It Pass By Itself? 7 Cases When You Need A Child Psychologist - Blogs, Society

Video: Will It Pass By Itself? 7 Cases When You Need A Child Psychologist - Blogs, Society
Video: ТАТУ: 20 лет спустя! Главная российская группа в мире 2023, March

A psychologist who works with children and parents often has to answer the question: "Will this go away by itself?" Today - about what a psychologist can see in a child and whether it is worth waiting for it to disappear by itself. Consider 7 cases when you really need a child psychologist

A circle of problems when you need a child psychologist

Today I will only talk about my experience. Since I mainly work with relatively healthy children who attend kindergartens and schools, I will write about them. I am a psychologist - not a neuropsychologist, not a speech therapist, not a pediatrician, not a neurologist, not a psychiatrist, not an osteopath. Therefore, today - about those features that an ordinary psychologist can see in children in an institution or at his reception. Other specialists have their own lists.

1. Adaptation

Adaptation itself is a programmed process for the body. The child is adapted by nature to get used to new conditions. Of course, this may not go very smoothly. A kid who gets used to kindergarten at the age of two or three can cry in the morning, refuse to let his mother go, start asking in the evening: "Are we not going to kindergarten tomorrow?" A first grader may not want to wake up in the morning and say that he hates school.

When do you need a child psychologist or can you wait?

The situation "will pass by itself" in the case of adaptation occurs most often. Only a few children (it seems, three for the entire ten-year practice in kindergartens) objectively turned out to be "non-Sadov". Look for details on how, on average, children adapt to kindergarten, school, and other situations. Most likely, you will find that everything is going in the normal process.

Where to run"?

The exit of the child into society shows something that did not manifest itself in any way before. For example, the presence of a mental disorder that does not allow him to enter a new situation.

I remember one three-year-old. He cried for a month and a half, every day. Poor eye contact, poor response to speech. Gradually it became clear that the teacher in the group fulfills the duties of a tutor for this child, and the other children do not receive the attention they need. I recommended that my mother pick up the child from the garden and see a doctor.

If the process is abnormal and the child, instead of gradually getting used to, is exhausted or becomes aggressive, you need to take him out of the institution and figure out what is happening. The reasons can be different, for example autism or even schizophrenia. Or perhaps a personality type that reacted neurotically or depressively. In any case, you need a consultation with a child psychiatrist.

2. Features of speech

The most common problem we hear about now is that children start talking later. Whether this phenomenon actually exists is not yet clear. But it really feels like there is: many children begin to speak in simple phrases only after two years, and by the age of three they have a clearly limited active vocabulary. Another problem is blurred speech, but speech therapists work with it. A neurologist necessarily works with stuttering, without an accurate diagnosis, finding out the reasons and various therapy, it will be difficult to cope.

When do you need a child psychologist or can you wait?

If by the age of two and a half - three years the child still has no speech, but there are separate words, you need to conduct a comprehensive diagnosis with a psychologist. There are techniques that do not require active speech, but are capable of assessing the general development and level of passive speech (understanding).

In my practice, I often come across the fact that the level of speech understanding is normal. That is, the child knows and understands many words, can understand and complete simple tasks of an adult. Seeing this, we can say that the child's mental development is age appropriate. In this case, if the parents perform simple actions, active speech grows within six months, and after a year it may not differ in any way from their peers.

Where to run"?

If, in the same diagnostic situation, it is revealed that the child's passive speech lags far behind, he does not understand the tasks, cannot correctly show the basic colors and shapes, we can talk about a general lag in neuropsychic development. There is no need to wait! You need to contact a child neurologist, a psychiatrist in order to understand what exactly we can deal with and how to correct the situation.

3. Development lag

It is not always easy to suspect that a child may have a developmental delay when he is small. Especially if the child is ready to contact other children and adults. In the classroom, people think about him for a long time that he is “inactive” or shy. In music or physical education, such children are quite capable of acting well in imitation and do not stand out. In kindergarten, such children may demonstrate "disobedience". Although in reality they simply do not understand what they want from them, and act as usual, stereotypically or impulsively. But it gradually becomes clear that the child “does not take” instructions for a variety of tasks, which is especially evident in creative works. As a rule, such children also lag behind in skills - food, dressing, hygiene.

When do you need a child psychologist or can you wait?

If there is a suspicion of developmental delay, do not wait.

Where to run"?

The first thing to do is a comprehensive study with a psychologist, which will reveal what kind of features the child has. Are we dealing with uneven development, or is it evenly lagging behind? Most likely, you will also need to get advice from a neuropsychologist, defectologist, speech therapist, neurologist and child psychiatrist.

Sometimes the lag is due to pedagogical neglect, which is not so rare, unfortunately. In this case, the parents will need to show more diligence in communicating with the child. It is possible that the child is, in principle, "weak in health" and the lag in mental development is due to the fact that all the body's forces are spent on fighting the illness. In this case, it is quite possible to overcome the lag.

There are more serious reasons, such as mental retardation. In this case, the child will be offered a correctional program and, possibly, a transfer to a specialized educational institution.

4. Activity with a "too" sign

In kindergartens and schools, one can observe children who find it difficult to sit still, who chat, twirl, do not follow simple rules. During breaks, their physical activity is like a whirlwind. With them it is very difficult, and they receive a lot of comments. And also the assumption that they are hyperactive, that is, they suffer from ADHD - attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Read more about this in the article "Kinder with a surprise"

When do you need a child psychologist or can you wait?

ADHD is a neurological-behavioral disorder. The diagnosis itself can be made only if the manifestations of hyperactivity, impulsivity and attention disorders are persistent, that is, they continue for at least six months.

But it may well turn out that we are not at all a child suffering from ADHD, but simply a child who has a fast personal pace of activity, both physical and mental. In kindergarten and school, these children quickly grasp the material, do the task (not always carefully) and often lose interest in it before others even begin to do it. Of course they spin!

In this case, the child does not need to be "treated". Gradually, he will develop self-control - not without the help of adults, of course - and the situation will become calmer, although the competitive advantage in the form of fast pace, activity and good attention will remain.

Where to run?

If, nevertheless, educators, teachers and a psychologist are alarmed, it is worth contacting a neurologist. In my experience, there are several encouraging cases where careful therapy has changed a child's behavior beyond recognition. Moreover, the result was noticeable within a few weeks.

A child who could not calmly eat, play, or study, but only twirled around, poked others, hummed, suddenly began to calm down, began to express his thoughts, wait for others, recite poetry. That is, he began to better manage his behavior.

As far as I know, the basis of therapy is drugs that improve cerebral circulation and cerebral metabolism, as well as vitamins and microelements. Also important are recommendations for parents and teachers on building interaction with the child and regime. Extremely important!

5. Aggressive behavior

Several times in my practice, I came across children who entered into an aggression of such intensity that they tore nailed lockers from the wall and threw children's tables. After such an episode, they fell into a state of fatigue, could fall asleep in an uncomfortable place, and then denied that they had done anything like that.

When do you need a child psychologist or can you wait?

Of course, I have described a rare and extreme case. More often, aggression manifests itself more calmly: hit, pushed, broke a toy, tore a drawing. Unpleasant? Yes. A reason to go to the doctor? Most probably not.

Of course, it will not work at all. Therefore, you should take a closer look at yourself. Maybe the child is physically punished in the family, they are rude to him, his things are not considered valuable. In such cases, you can hear the proud: "We bring him up strictly." Then it's time for adults to think about what kind of example they are setting for the child, since all this has nothing to do with upbringing.

Sometimes a child becomes aggressive in a difficult life situation - for example, moving, divorce of parents. Then aggression is a temporary matter, especially if you help the child survive it. In general, it is better to look for the origins of aggression together with a psychologist and then follow the recommendations.

Where to run"?

In cases of uncontrolled aggression or the so-called "explosive affect" it is best to consult a neurologist and make an EEG to rule out a dangerous disease - epilepsy. At the moment, there are effective drugs that need to be taken regularly. They prevent disease from developing and significantly improve the quality of life.

6. Strange behavior

I remember one boy, five years old. He saw cats everywhere. It was cute, and we thought for a while that he played like that, because children often make imaginary friends or pets for themselves. Until I did a comprehensive examination. Numerous evidences of impaired thinking, "torn apart" of the human body in the drawing, constant distraction by cats, with whom he talked and described what everyone is doing, insufficient level of intellectual development, low memory and attention indicators …

There was a lot in the practice of children who "dabbled" with the genitals: they showed them to others, stimulated them.

When do you need a child psychologist or can you wait?

It is better to “bring” any strangeness to a psychologist. It may turn out that this is a common feature (like children's masturbation) and it is better not to do anything with it directly. But at the same time, in order for the phenomenon to go away, you need to create a calmer environment around the child, give him an alternative for the hands, distract, occupy (children play with their genitals more often in boring moments).

Most of what adults label as “weird” is common and only needs a little help. But visiting a neurologist will still not be superfluous.

Where to run?

If the oddities are serious, the psychologist recommends consulting a doctor (neurologist, psychiatrist). In the example I described with cats, we could talk about the development of childhood schizophrenia, and without the necessary treatment, the developmental defect can grow quickly enough. When taking modern drugs, the quality of life is significantly improved.

7. Difficulties in communication

Sometimes the child refuses to contact others. For example, he tries not to look in the eyes, does not maintain communication, or begins to buzz anxiously and run in circles.

When do you need a child psychologist or can you wait?

It is better to consult a psychologist. Perhaps it will turn out to be just shyness, and then it will be a matter of time, support and positive experience for the behavior to change.

Where to run?

If a child behaves as I described above, and he does not have normal communication situations, then we can assume RDA (early childhood autism). There are different forms of autism, and it is of great importance whether correctional work is carried out with the child. Without special efforts, alas, nothing will go away by itself, but will only get worse. In this case, you will need the help of a neurologist, psychiatrist, defectologist.


I looked at the most common problems that can be seen in children in kindergarten or school.

In conclusion, I have a request to the parents!

If the psychologist has a hypothesis that the situation may be more serious than you would like, try to listen to it. Because otherwise a situation arises when the child is left without help, and his condition may worsen. Better to let the fear not be confirmed. It is better to "go in vain" to doctors, but to know that what is happening is a variant of the norm, than to live with eyes wide shut.

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