Table of contents:
- These films offer to reflect on how a loving couple copes with a crisis in a relationship, learns to adapt to each other, to hear each other and see in another - another, and not an extension of themselves. And in the end - to bet "on love"
- 1. "Urban Romance", 1971
- 2. "She's going to have a baby!", 1988
- 3. "Love and Doves", 1984
- 4. "We did not agree with the characters", 1989
- 5. "Story about us", 1999
- 6. "Simple Difficulties", 2009
- 7. "Spring Hopes", 2012
- 8. "Love" (Amour), 2012
Video: These 8 Movies Can Help Deal With A Relationship Crisis - Relationships, Reviews
2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18
These films offer to reflect on how a loving couple copes with a crisis in a relationship, learns to adapt to each other, to hear each other and see in another - another, and not an extension of themselves. And in the end - to bet "on love"
Marriage is a long, difficult and vital business. Of course, for those who are getting married. And never a single person in the world has married or got married, knowing in advance what this event is.
Young (and not so) people, choosing a life partner, are guided by the "visible": community or at least consistency in values, habits, interests; similar rules of life and social environment. Before the wedding, we know about the chosen one … something, but not all!
This happens because a person as a person develops throughout his life, and after all, most of it takes place already in marriage
Life goes on, spouses learn to adapt to each other, children are born and grow up, social and economic conditions change, careers are built, roles change, parents and older relatives age.
The systemic psychological view implies that marriage and the family are a living, mobile system, which, on the one hand, is closed and focused on itself, and on the other hand, is receptive to what is happening outside
And this system is sensitive to any changes. When the changes are serious, a married couple is faced with the need to recognize and accept the changes, live with them, and rebuild.
Major changes include:
- starting life together;
- the birth of children, especially the first child;
- changes in the social and economic status of one or both spouses;
- serious illness or loss;
- the growing up of children, when they enter the transitional age, and so on.
Some couples overcome these stages more easily, while others are going through a serious crisis in their relationship.
The bad news is that it is during such periods that marriage at any stage of its development is threatened. The good news is that you can overcome the crisis and go through together, and then the relationship will reach a qualitatively new level
And "anti-crisis" films will help in this. Please note that not all films in the selection are light melodramas with a mandatory happy ending at the end. Everything is like in life.
So the beginning …
1. "Urban Romance", 1971
A movie about love at first sight. He is a real romantic hero: whole, smart, handsome, educated, popular. She - a romantic heroine in love and dissolving in him - plunges headlong into the first real feeling.
Faced with reality, everyday life and the notorious “loss of freedom”, the hero capitulates … for a while, to understand himself and what he actually wants
The heroine intuitively chooses the right path - withdraws and plunges into her own life, study, work. In space and time, where they are separated, each in his own way deals with his feelings and finds the answer to the main question.
2. "She's going to have a baby!", 1988
Perhaps, to modern young couples, such a movie will seem naive and a little old-fashioned, but this is the eighties!
Lovers are combined in marriage, expecting that their life will not change at all in marriage - love will be eternal, and joy and a feeling of happiness will never leave them
Alas, everyday life rocks the family boat. The newlywed constantly doubts that he did the right thing. His "devoted" friend adds fuel to the fire. The parents of the young wife are unhappy with her choice, but the long-awaited pregnancy adds drama to the whole story!
The film is a question about who is in charge in a relationship - me, you or … us?
3. "Love and Doves", 1984
This picture is a kind of hymn to the family and … to the crisis, which becomes a stepping stone for the development of the couple.
Once upon a time, did not grieve, raised children, life seemed understandable and predictable. So what if he is often removed from the relationship, runs off to his dovecote, and she nags and nags him for this innocent hobby, feeling how the distance between them increases day by day?
The crisis is coming - in full measure, with all its attributes. Breakup, trauma, first for her, then for him, the experience of loss, shock, anger, grief follow each other. Then attempts at reconciliation, timid rapprochement (on a new level), attempts to accept the situation
And how beautifully and accurately it is shown that in such a powerful crisis it is necessary to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself time to recover, to understand yourself. Do not refuse the help of relatives, friends, do not go into isolation. If it is possible (and this is not always possible - alas, sometimes people are traumatized in a relationship too much) - accept what happened and try to forgive.
4. "We did not agree with the characters", 1989
A film about the family crisis in the USSR in the post-perestroika period, when there were already consultations on family and marriage issues.
The story is about a shoemaker without boots, as the main character is a family consultant and “on duty” she listens to and understands dozens of stories about family relationships every day
The heroine's own husband, a man in his forties, going through the middle of his life, chooses the old as the world way to cope with anxiety about … probably life in general.
5. "Story about us", 1999
American version of marital breakdown after 15 years of marriage with two teenage children.
At first glance, two people are participating in the whirlpool of the crisis. In fact, there are two pairs of parents, a mom and a dad on each side, and each has its own “voice”. In psychology, such "inner voices" in a healthy person are called introjects.
Introjects are attitudes, judgments, thoughts, emotions learned from significant adults, primarily parents, that act automatically bypassing the critical part of consciousness
How to deal with this polyphony?
Several family psychologists are also involved in the analysis of the situation, who, as it seems to them, confuse more than clarify the relationship. It's hard when you consider that habits, routine have accumulated over so many years, and this is - "what else can we expect from you ?!"
As a result, you have to work on relationships yourself - to think, feel, learn to listen and hear, perceive and believe.
6. "Simple Difficulties", 2009
After many years, the former spouses can finally communicate calmly "like friends" and try to maintain neutrality, after all, they have three common adult children. But something remains unsaid, unlived, haunted.
Perhaps this "something" has to do with what they have become? Or with the fact that the children have grown up and you can live for yourself again? Or is it about sex? Self-esteem? Trying to check if we can reconnect?
This seemingly light melodrama reveals an idea that goes very deeply into the theme of the relationship of the former spouses - we are no longer together, but he or she will forever remain a part of me
7. "Spring Hopes", 2012
A very mature couple, a housewife and a businessman, so used to each other that one perceives the other as a part of themselves. And the other, well, completely disagrees with this state of affairs and is trying to revive the relationship.
The plot may seem too optimistic and even far-fetched, given the realities of our post-Soviet elderly couples, but do you sometimes see elderly spouses touchingly holding hands on the streets?
In this picture, it is not so important that mature people want something different than what their age, position in society and years lived together offer them. What about emotions?
And at 65, just like at 20, you can experience surprise, delight, passion - you just need to try to give yourself the right
8. "Love" (Amour), 2012
A drama about love at the end of life. A marriage of decades, when it was possible to go through crises and clashes, to raise children, remain a couple and enjoy each other, art and long evening conversations, is overshadowed by the wife's rapidly progressing illness.
The husband is at a loss, because the beloved loses the ability not only to move, but also to think. An adult daughter requires drastic measures - nurses and a hospice are needed. In her opinion, this will help everyone - mother, father. And to her, as it will remove the burden of guilt and grief from her heart.