Why Doesn't A Man Want A Relationship And At The Same Time Doesn't Let Go? - Relations

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

How often do we women find ourselves in a relationship when a man seems to be with us, but it seems not. She meets, meets, but does not call for marriage, she is in no hurry to live together. But at the same time, the man does not let go: on occasion, he will give something, and take an interest in where and with whom he spent time, even a scene of jealousy can roll. Why it happens? Why does a man not want a permanent and serious relationship?

It seems that a woman in such a relationship is like a dog on a long leash: on the one hand, she can walk both to the right and to the left and feel relatively free, but on the other hand, there is still a leash and periodically makes itself felt.

It is always difficult to be in such an indefinite relationship: a woman develops self-doubt, from time to time there is a depressive state, because to answer the question "Why does he pull?" she cannot herself.

Men who can be compared to a dog in the hay can be roughly divided into two types: the owner and the collector.

Type number 1. Owner

Quite a common type. Such a man is distinguished by an increased level of economy and frugality. His possessive streak is manifested in absolutely everything: he cares about his well-being, tight-fisted, resentful, jealous even towards friends, it is difficult to part with people and things.

He treats a woman as something of his own. Even if at the moment she is not really needed, and generally tired for a long time, he cannot leave her: what if she is still useful on the farm

On the other hand, the owner cannot bear the thought that someone will use what belongs to him. His attitude towards women cannot be called chivalrous or romantic. For him, a woman is, strictly speaking, not a woman at all, not even a person or a sexual object. She is his property, therefore, he physically cannot part with her even when there seems to be no relationship.

Type number 2. Collector

This type includes men who need female fans. He keeps women for himself, periodically making themselves felt with a compliment, a gift, sudden and lightning-fast sex.

He, like the Flying Dutchman, no, no, and yes, he will appear on your shores with bouquets, sweets and words of love. And then it will just as quickly disappear from all radars until the next time

The favorite method of the Collector is to be silent, to be silent, then to write, still be silent and call somewhere. He needs it in order to feel in demand. The collector knows that he has 25 women whom he can write or call at any moment, and someone from his Don Juan list will definitely respond.

Psychologically, the Collector is very insecure. To feel good, he needs women whom he keeps at some distance.

What to do if your partner pauses the relationship, but does not let go?

1. Understand what you expect from the relationship

In the first version of the relationship (with the Owner), a woman can be in the state of an alternate airfield for years. At the same time, let's not forget that the distinctive feature of the Owner is economy. He is ready to do anything for his welfare, but he does not care about your problems.

If a woman has a goal to create a family, have children, it is unlikely that a long wait will contribute to a full-fledged union. And in general, the realization that for someone you are just a backup option does not add self-confidence and hope for the future. On the contrary, the longer such a relationship lasts, the lower self-esteem falls and the less chances of a personal life arrangement.

2. Resist the fear of being alone

Perhaps the woman's relationship with the Owner continues out of fear that nothing more good will happen in her life, or “even if such, than nothing at all”.

The fear of being alone is not the best guide to life. He often pushes on relationships that infringe, humiliate and do not bring joy and pleasure

You should not be led by your fears, otherwise you risk remaining an alternate airfield.

Relationships with the owner are toxic for a woman, and if you are not able to break them off yourself by setting your goals, then you should seek help from a specialist.

The longer you are in such a relationship, the less self-confidence you have, and you are ready to settle for what is, out of fear to change something in your life.

3. Do not create illusions about the future

The second version of the relationship (with the Collector) may well suit a woman who herself is looking for ease in communication without obligations. For example, a lady who is divorced from adult children, who has everything she needs for life (work, home, hobbies, girlfriend), but lacks an easy romance with a man.

If a representative of the fair sex dares to have feelings for the Collector and hopes that fleeting meetings will someday grow into something more, then she will have to be disappointed - this will never happen

The collector does not need a serious relationship, he is interested in flirting, fleetingness, novelty. Therefore, do not create illusions and, if you feel attachment, run from him as fast as you can.

A person who loves will not behave like a Collector. No need to look for excuses for him or think that he is James Bond on a special assignment.