What Is Cuckold In A Relationship? - Relationship, Sex

At consultations, men and women talk about their sexual fantasies about betrayal and their fears. And some women complain that their husbands are coerced into this form of sexual activity. Let's take a look at what a cuckold is: reasons, ulterior motives of participants, consequences for a couple

Cuckold (cuckold) - a form of deviant sexual behavior, which combines group sex and sadomasochism. One of the sexual epidemics of the XXI century. Porn is replete with plots on this topic. Previously, people were afraid of betrayal of a partner and did their best to avoid it. And now a new deviant trend is revealed - a person experiences sexual arousal, fantasizing about a real or fictional betrayal of a permanent partner. And some couples pursue these fantasies in cuckolding. In such a pair, the husband is called cuckold, the wife is called sex-wif. The partner who is invited to the pair is the dominator, or "bull".

Let's figure out the origin of the term. There are two interpretations. The first is cuckold (translated from English). The second is the cuckoo (cuckoo) - a bird that throws its eggs into other people's nests. And the last - an English borrowing from two words: cock - penis, old - old or dormant penis.

Scenario options

• 1. The husband leases his wife for several days or hours to one or more men. Terms of "lease" are discussed in advance. After returning, the wife provides her husband with a video of the infidelity.
• 2. A couple invites a man. The husband prepares his wife, “warms up” her - in fact, he arouses her to pass her on to the dominator. A wife with a dominator has intercourse in front of her husband. At the same time, the wife in every possible way demonstrates her excitement to her husband. The husband does not enter into sexual contact, he only observes and masturbates. In this scenario, the husband initiates sex.
• 3. The initiator of the cuckold is the wife. The woman and the dominator feminize the husband - "they turn him into a girl." This is expressed in the fact that the husband, along with his wife, "like a woman", participates in sexual intercourse with the dominator. The husband gives him oral sex, licks the dominator's sperm from the genitals of his wife. In conclusion, the dominator engages in anal sex with him. The dominator is in an active position, the husband is in a passive one. In fact, this is a scenario of "castration of the husband", where he is humiliated (with his consent). Both the husband and wife go to implement such a scenario of their own free will. That is, it's not about rape. This scenario is called "maximum cuckold".

Varieties of the maximum cuckold

Chastity is when a wife puts on a "chastity belt" on her husband's genitals. The man wears it all the time. There is a hole in the belt for urinating. A chastity belt is a special device made of soft metal, wood, or alloy. It can be locked or programmed. The key to the "barn lock" is kept by the wife. All sexual behavior of the husband is regulated by the wife and the dominator. Fertilization - the wife has sex with her husband in a condom, but with her lover - without, the husband brings up children from the lover. The lover has no right to them.

In ads on thematic dating sites, couples practicing cuckolding describe their preferences as follows: “I am looking for a lover for my wife with a decent size of 18 cm, attentive and delicate”, “I am looking for a strong man, my husband is a slave without taboos, together we will bring up from he p * dora "," I am looking for a status, generous man, waiting for gifts from him, taught my husband to take off and put on a condom on a lover, ready to have children from a lover "," we are looking for a strong man with a decent size from 19 cm, my husband likes to dress up as a girl, ready for a blowjob, loves a strap-on "," I am looking for a friend and constant lover, familiar with the topic of cuckolds, who is ready for a joint vacation at a resort with full payment from your side "and so on.

Reasons for cuckolding

1. Realization of sadomasochistic desires. The pair plays out the "submission - dominance" scenario with a clear distribution of roles. In this case, the role of a masochist is assumed by the husband, the roles of sadists are distributed between the wife and lover. Both partners, husband and wife, benefit from this scenario. More often in such a marriage there are people with complementary psychopathology - one mental disorder compensates for the other.

2. Sexual disorder or weak sexual constitution of a man. The husband cannot satisfy his wife's “appetites”. This leads to a lack of sexual energy in the couple. To replenish it, cuckolding is chosen - they invite a more "testosterone male with a worthy member."

   The member is - in the eyes of the majority - a symbol of male power. (Although, as a sexologist, I can argue that penis length does not affect masculine strength. And certainly a large penis will not guarantee a man protection from sexual dysfunction.) For a while, the energy in a couple is replenished. When the "male" for any reason ceases to participate in cuckolding, a rollback occurs. The couple becomes nowhere to take sexual energy, and they cannot and do not want to produce it within the couple.

3. In sexual scenarios where the husband enters into homosexual contact, we are talking about latent homosexual attraction. The husband may not be aware of or not recognize this attraction due to internal moral conflict. In real life, he is afraid to embody his homosexual fantasies. Implementation in a group format is perceived by the man as safe. He kind of transfers responsibility to his wife. The wife initiates and legalizes his homosexuality. This is associated with dressing a man in women's clothing, and licking the lover's sperm from the female genitals. So the husband wants to identify with male sexuality. He does not feel like a man, for this he needs a dominator.

Women's motives

1. Thirst for revenge on a man. This happens in the scenario where she herself is the initiator. And it is not at all necessary to take revenge on your husband. In the person of her husband, she takes revenge on all men. The aim of her revenge is to castrate the masculinity. Therefore, a chastity belt is used, because she so clearly demonstrates her superiority over her husband. The message is “look what I'm doing in front of your eyes”, “I don't give a damn about your feelings” and so on.

   This scenario envisages an active-aggressive role of the wife. She humiliates her husband not only by having sex with another man, but also using special words that she says to her husband during sex with another. In fact, in this scenario, the woman is competing with the men. She humiliates her husband, uses her lover as a means. And her sexuality is masculine.

2. Transferring responsibility to the husband for pleasure. Inside - a masochistic attitude. The woman has a prohibition on pleasure in sex, formed as a result of education. The Good Girl Syndrome prevents her from taking the initiative and talking openly about her sexual desires.

   If a man, ignoring her prohibition, forces her to have sex, then all the responsibility and "blame" falls on him. This means that pleasure can be obtained only when you are forced. This is how the sexual scenario of female masochism is laid. It can be both in a monogamous relationship, and when a man literally corrupts a woman - he lets her “in a circle” in the format of sex “Gang-Beng”.

Why can't a couple create sexual energy within a relationship? Because they do not know how to build relationships like two adults, and this creates the preconditions for deviation. Sexuality in such a couple is immature. Why does a wife need a cuckold husband, a little boy? To control the relationship. Why? For fear that if the control is weakened, the husband will become dangerous to her. "A free husband is a dangerous husband." He may be interested in another woman, or simply leave. The wife is not ready to accept the mature sexuality of the man.

Why does a cuckold husband need a wife - sex wif? Because she is more a mother to him than a wife. With mom calmly, she gives clear instructions, puts on the "miracle device" on the penis. That is, the wife has complete control over her husband's life. The relationship becomes parent-child, sexual energy is at zero. But relationships are so valuable and vital that giving up on them is unthinkable. Therefore, a third character appears - another man. The couple's attraction is restored. As if the balance has been found? But no, it's an illusion, like an oasis in the desert.

And why is a dominator? He believes that it is better to sleep with someone else's wife than with a prostitute. He asserts himself - "this is what I am an alpha male, I have a wife, and my husband watches." Here's a way to win the competition.

Once the cuckold scenario is established, the couple can no longer enjoy "traditional" sex. A third is constantly needed to fill an emotional hole in a relationship. Over time, the deviant scenario unfolds.

The husband, ceasing to participate in vaginal sex, turns off his sexual function, as it were. If at first he only plays the role of impotent, over time he completely turns into him. The woman's psychoemotional and sexual problems progress. By splitting her personality and sexuality, she loses touch with her nature. And the dominator, like a passing banner, wanders from pair to pair. He, too, does not know how to build close relationships, preferring promiscuity and playing the alpha male.

What can two children (husband and wife) do to diversify their lives? Fill it up with games. That is why cuckold is a "sandbox game" where a husband, wife and lover play with each other and their genitals, like little children build sand castles.

If a couple is satisfied with such a relationship, this is one situation. But what about those who want to get rid of deviation?

There are several points of view on the therapy of sexual deviations

1. Kukolding is not a deviation, and therefore nothing needs to be treated. Such practices add variety to relationships, now is the XXI century, tolerance and stuff like that. I do not agree with this point of view. Such advice is harmful to a person's sexual and mental health.

   Cuckolding distorts a person's sexuality and disturbs the harmony of a couple. He does not solve problems in pairs, but, on the contrary, exacerbates them. And some "miracle specialists" even offer their services, "how to start and organize cuckolding correctly." That is, they promote sexual perversion. So many negative tendencies in sexuality come through the Overton windows.

   If a person only fantasizes, but does not realize a sexual deviation, it is easier and faster to help him than in a situation where cuckolding is his habitual behavior. Everything is the same as in cases of porn addiction.
2. Method of partial implementation of deviation using scenario-based therapy. As with any method, there must be indications for its use.
3. Sexual fantasy therapy, substitution of one scenario for another. In my opinion, deviation therapy is a laborious and lengthy process. For both the patient and the specialist. It is easier for the patient to follow the path of least resistance, realizing fantasies, than changing the sexual scenario. If a person is ready to work for a long time, and the specialist has the skills to manage such patients, the result will be positive - a decrease in the frequency of manifestations of deviation or a complete replacement of a deviant sexual scenario with a healthy one.