Personal Opinions About Domestic Violence, Abusers And Victims. Part 4: The Rules Of The Ring - Society

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

1. You cannot win in the ring without being a fighter. Before, you refused to fight the one who challenged you. You have chosen the path of sacrifice and you know the result.

2. Nobody forces you to enter the ring unprepared. But if you left and are not ready to go to the end - why did you leave ?!

See also: Personal opinions on domestic violence, abusers and victims.

• Part 1: on learned helplessness
• Part 2: what is violence and why does an abuser need it?
• Part 3: the identity of the abuser

3. Learn to strike and, most importantly, take blows. You no longer have to see them as a tragedy of your life and allow yourself to be hurt emotionally. Yes, it hurts or it hurts a lot, but it shouldn't affect your entire being. An example from your own life. Your finger is pierced when the blood is taken for tests. You don't see this as the end of the world, even if you're afraid of injections and blood? And in the ring, too. It is part of your job to calmly accept pain and stop reacting to it emotionally.

4. Get to know your enemy. The haphazard behavior of the abuser is an illusion based on your lack of knowledge. Violence is triggered by triggers - certain situations that persist in your relationship. And the aggressor has his own tactics, options for action, which can also be described and predicted. It is clear that in case of your answer, he can prepare something new. What prevents you from predicting his behavior based on previous actions? Better yet, lead him to a situation that is beneficial to you.

5. Find allies and a support group. Not drunken girlfriends who sympathize with you over a cup of coffee, but professionals who help people like you. Remember, the law is on your side, you will be provided with information and, if necessary, protection.

6. Work for results. Every moment of your work in the ring should not be wasted. You must have a clear understanding: against whom you went out, where and how to beat and how long you will hold out. Use your brains, your new connections to the maximum. And, yes, hand-to-hand fighting skills will not be superfluous. They will give you the necessary psychological confidence and teach you how to react quickly to a threat. Be ready to use them.

7. The monkeys must be removed from the pedestal. Fear and understanding that you are well prepared and go to the end - only this can stop the abuser. And nothing else. But, if possible, do not drive him into a corner, let him save face, so that there is no desire to return to your life.

I wish you to enter the ring and find freedom at the end of the journey. Good luck fighting friend!