“I Can't Love My Adopted Daughter” - Society

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

Boris Novobozhkin answers questions from our readers

Hello! I am writing to you with the following problem: a few months ago a tragedy occurred in my family - my sister died in a car accident. I took care of her 6-year-old daughter. I have a 12 year old son. I began to catch myself thinking that I did not love my sister's daughter! I try to be affectionate with her, but I can't. The girl feels it. There are quarrels in the family because of this. My husband treats the girl well, and so does my son. But she needs my attention, and for me she is like a stranger! I can’t help myself, I can’t love her! Tell me what to do in this situation? How to behave?

Alla, 35 years old

It’s worth starting by saying that you may be “blaming” the girl for what you did for her. You can be understood. Be more comfortable with your sister's daughter. Don't force yourself to love her. You cannot do this, and this also causes negative emotions in you, which you then throw out on the girl.

Don't overpower yourself

After all, when you try to do it, you end up making it worse for yourself, your family and the girl who feels it! Pay attention to it, treat it with understanding. She will not feel superfluous in a family where she is treated well, and over time she will repay you for the good that you have done for her.