Life Without Sex. Who Are Asexuals? - Relationship, Sex, Society

A new trend is emerging in the modern world - young men and women voluntarily refuse sex. Some of them call themselves asexuals, they are forming a new movement with their own rules and orders. Let's consider this phenomenon from the point of view of modern medical sexology

Asceticism and celibacy

It is fundamentally wrong to say that this is a new phenomenon. Because people who deliberately refused sex have always existed. It's just that now they began to talk about it openly, as well as about the topic of sex in general. Take, for example, the records of domestic sexologists, and we will see there a description of similar clinical cases since 1965.

Let's go further, retrospectively into the history of mankind, and see the following fact. Among the guests of the monastery were both those who were forced to be placed there, and those who voluntarily said goodbye to worldly life. It was easy for the latter to be celibate, because they did not feel the urge to have sex.

The Middle Ages are rich in stories of the mortification of the flesh on religious grounds, which indicates a desire to suppress the biological principle. The highest religious ranks, strictly regulating the prohibitions in sex at the time, were none other than asexuals. They perceived the healthy sexual attraction of their parishioners as a reproach to their sexual incapacity.

Mature relationship

In this age there is no need to fight sexuality, the circumstances have changed. A person can choose to follow the path of realizing the drive or restrain it. Although the phenomena described above differ in the context in which they arise, they are the essence of the same nature - they refer to delays in psychosexual development and are considered a sexual disorder.

The harmonious sexual development of a person includes a number of stages, where each of the subsequent stages precedes the previous one and is necessary for the formation of mature sexuality. The most popular concepts for the development of sexuality are psychoanalytic, formulated by Sigmund Freud, as well as the concept of the domestic sex therapist Georgy Stepanovich Vasilchenko, who made a colossal contribution to the development of medical sexology. Both concepts explain how the formation of mature sexuality takes place, and talk about the characteristic changes in the psyche and sexuality of a person throughout his life.

The crown of sexuality is the genital form - this is the mature, adult form of sexuality. That is, the ability, attraction and success in the implementation of sexual contact with a partner. If, for any reason, the stages in the development of sexuality are violated, acceleration or delay of sexual development, as well as the formation of deviation or paraphilia, may occur.

Blocked libido

People who call themselves asexual have an immature sexuality. In couples who deliberately refuse sex, both partners meet - mentally and sexually immature people, in fact children. At the same time, the delay in sexuality can be combined with other sexual disorders, or it can be isolated.

Patients, a couple with virgogamous (virginal) marriage lived for 12 years before, under pressure from relatives, they turned to a sexologist. It turned out that the husband had erectile dysfunction, and the wife had vaginismus. Independent attempts did not lead to a result, and the couple decided to give up sex. In this case, the delay in psychosexual development was combined with sexual dysfunctions in both partners.

An interesting fact is the relationship between blocked libido and aggression. People with delayed sexuality also have difficulty expressing aggression and anger. They block active aggression, do not allow to show such emotions, but passive more than enough. How can this be explained?

Aggression and sexuality are instinctive in nature. Restraining them leads to the transformation of sexuality into aggression, and active aggression into passive

Although passive aggression is not so striking and seems safe, it does much more harm than active aggression - severe unexpressed emotions destroy the body and psyche.

Why is it so difficult for asexuals to have intercourse? Because vaginal contact itself is also an act of aggression. The man penetrates the woman, enters her vagina, takes possession of her. This requires an internal aggressive impulse. A woman wants to fix on the penis, wants to absorb it, to absorb it. The phenomenon of the orgasmic cuff itself is also aggressive in nature. The vagina wraps around the penis tightly and begins to contract to discharge. This process requires aggression, which is blocked in asexuals.

Is the delay in psychosexual development a sentence?

Of course not. Today, medical sexology and psychotherapy has a sufficient arsenal of tools to solve this problem. Treatment depends on the cause of the delay and the duration of the problem and includes reconstructive therapy aimed at forming and filling in the missing stages of psychosexual development.

In conclusion, I would like to note that a person in the Middle Ages had no choice, he was forced to submit to the despotism of the church. The modern person has a choice of how to dispose of his sexuality, and it already depends only on him - to suppress his instinctive nature, destroying his libido, or to give him a natural outlet.