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Video: Personal Opinions About Domestic Violence, Abusers And Victims. Part 3: The Identity Of The Abuser - Society
The identity of the abuser is created by the family. The roots of violence are very deep, they begin to take shape in childhood. That is why it is so difficult for the abuser to accept the other's point of view and adjust his attitude.
Read also: Personal opinion on domestic violence, abusers and victims
- Part 1: on learned helplessness
- Part 2: what is violence and why does an abuser need it?
- Part 4: ring rules
6 personality types of the abuser
Was born into a traditional family or into a family of "traditional values". The difference is that a large traditional family, for example, in the Caucasus or Central Asia, is much more "relaxed" about the practice of domestic violence, and the abuser receives support and understanding from the environment, and in a small family where the values of "male dominance" are cultivated, monkeys works for themselves.
In a word, for a boy who has never grown into a human being, the situation of violence is taken for granted, and he sometimes does not even have enough intelligence to understand what is wrong? After all, the universe is so arranged that women are brainless females who must be brought to obedience.
Getting out of control by the victim will be seen as a violation of the universe, and this is exactly the 10% when the abuser can go all the way, right up to the murder of the victim.
2. Raised by the street
Parenting neglected. May be aggravated by drunkenness, psychological and physical abuse on their part. The consummate egoist. Abuser is used to living by wolf laws, gnawing his place in the pack and his piece of meat. Yes, he is proud of it. He will yield only to brute force or law, which for him is the same form of brute force. But he will give way quickly, because his own skin is most valuable.
Formally, he lived in a "normal" family, where the father was polite to his wife and did not use physical means of coercion. But on the other hand, manipulations and other forms of psychological violence were used in the family. And dirty linen in public in "normal" families can not stand.
He is used to living under double standards. For him, violence is a quick, convenient way to achieve his own goals. Most likely, he will use less dirty - psychological violence, but he may have psychopathic traits in his character and he may like physical violence.
So, violence is in his flesh and bone. He knows how and will hide its application. Yes, it can be effective without violence, it's just less beneficial.
Of all the types of abusers, he is the most rational, it is easiest to press him against the wall and force him to retreat. And the law works the fastest here.
It is both a personality and a situational syndrome. He is smart enough to choose situations where he can break the laws of human society and dominate without consequences. He feels the state of other people, attacks in a favorable situation for himself, finds external excuses for himself.
He intimidates the victim, demonstrates his willingness to go all the way. But most often he has something to lose - he values his life and health very much.
The key question for this person's personality is how far he is willing to go to feel the enjoyment of his power. Most of them are quite rational and, feeling the preparedness of the one who opposes them, they will go to look for another victim.
5. "Flew off the cut"
In principle, until the moment of falling ill with alcoholism or drug addiction, he could not even be an abuser in his way. But at a certain stage of the disease, he becomes an animal in its purest form and begins to treat people as objects that must fulfill his needs. For him, their life and health lose value, he can cripple or beat a person to death not prudently, but because the sense of reality has refused. Survival for him is above everything else. He will easily succumb to brute force or law if he has the resources and the opportunity to take a step back.
On a par with the traditionalist and the psychopath who "flew from the cut" - the most inadequate and dangerous. Spoiled by money and power, covered from all sides. Only public opinion can resist the insolence of the major, and the level of the tabloid press such as talk shows on central channels. And the situation of the threat of physical violence, if he is a coward and realizes that there are situations where he can be obtained.
To be continued