Table of contents:
- Is there a friendship between a man and a woman? Or is it a veiled desire or, conversely, an unwillingness to intimacy? Let's understand the terms
- Sex or friendship
- What roles do we play?
- Psychologist's recommendations
Video: Is There A Friendship Between A Man And A Woman - Relations
Is there a friendship between a man and a woman? Or is it a veiled desire or, conversely, an unwillingness to intimacy? Let's understand the terms
Friendship, in my opinion, is one of the types of intimacy. At the level of the soul, consciousness, spirit, if you like. Intimacy includes love, respect, care, tenderness, friendship, friendship, and all the semitones. All these interactions are facets of the same great feeling, a sense of closeness.
Your personality may interest another person. And this interest manifests itself not only at the level of rational consciousness, but also at the subconscious, which is a dark territory for most people.
The cliché of social labels prevents us from fully perceiving all the subtle nuances of our feelings and sensations in relation to other people
It is, of course, much easier to label a relationship with a person as sex, or as friendship, or as flirting. Then everything seems clear. The collective unconscious has already prescribed the path of your joint movement. Beaten paths are convenient, but they don't always lead to the place you want.
Sex or friendship
Friendship may or may not be combined with a desire for sex. In what status to stay, both partners decide. Sex does not exclude friendship, and friendship does not exclude sex.
Attraction is primarily not an attraction to the body, but an attraction to living together. And even if the attraction is short, without the need to build a relationship in order to “live long and die in one day,” and here we are not talking about one-time sex, but about the interest of getting to know each other.
Our collective unconscious reduces a vast palette of thoughts, emotions and sensations to simple two-dimensional logic: sex or friendship, flirting or marriage.
Once, at a consultation, one girl admitted to me that as soon as an interesting man smiles at her, their candy-bouquet period, wedding, quarrels, children, divorce and division of property immediately sweep through the imagination. And this happens all the time. She cannot perceive the attention from a man as an interest in herself here and now, and it does not matter if there will be a continuation and how. The girl constantly draws on what will happen after - for example, whether a passing companion will become the love of her life. With this, she scares off men, even with serious intentions.
We talked about the interest of strangers in each other, and now let's touch on couples. In my practice as a causal psychologist, the most stable couples build their relationships on friendship. Yes, it is on the friendship between husband and wife that decades of a happy family life are kept.
Friendship is a deep acceptance of another person, taking into account all his strengths and weaknesses
Friendships can also develop between strangers' husband and wife. Again, friendship as an element of attraction to loved ones may or may not be accompanied by sexual desire. Then everything depends on ethics, desires and circumstances.
Sex is, in my opinion, one of the options for people's interest in each other. It is important to separate the sexual needs of the body and the passion for the person as a person. Both men and women may well develop sexual desire as such, without the need to know a partner. And it is important to feel what you are in contact with at once, to see and share instincts and closeness. Of course, young men have more such instinctive interests than women.
What roles do we play?
There are much fewer social roles than shades of mutual interest between two people. With mutual attraction, two people can play any socially acceptable role.
For example, a patronizing friendship between a more experienced man and a young woman in the office. They don't have to be lovers. They can live in the roles of father and daughter. Such a friendship can develop along the lines of the closeness of an older brother and a younger sister. It may be the other way around. For example, roommates can be friends like an older sister and a younger brother, in this case a woman will advise and take care of and sex is not necessary here either.
In any kind of intimacy, we practice different social roles: lovers, parents, children, sisters and brothers in different variations. Learning to love unconditionally and practicing social actions.
We suggest in each case not to hang up standard labels, but to contact yourself for clarification. It is very useful to begin to understand in time, to find out how this or that attraction is felt. What side of desire for intimacy with another person you are experiencing. The soul, as a rule, subtly and accurately feels the close soul. An interest arises, a desire to get to know a person.
It's very important to be honest with yourself. To understand what you want at the moment "here and now" without thinking through possible useful prospects or the desire to "spread a straw" for yourself in what has not happened and not the fact that will happen at all
In case of refusal to be thoughtful, from standardization, we do not limit ourselves. We go with the flow of recognizing each other.
And to determine the form of communication at the moment will help, firstly, a subtle feeling of oneself and one's emotions, and secondly, honesty. Integrity is the most important thing we can bring to any relationship. Honestly talk about what you want and what you don’t want, honestly explain how you feel. And also be willing to accept honesty towards you.
Many people are afraid of honesty because they are not ready for an unbiased assessment of themselves as another person. But only honesty can help build a pleasant, interesting relationship. Only by being honest can we be real with other people and not feel discomfort, guilt, fear, shame or other unpleasant feelings.