Table of contents:
- How often do we set ourselves ambitious goals in the hope of getting what we want. We make some efforts at the start, but only until the first failures appear. And immediately the motivational fuse disappears. We don't want to do anything further, let alone achieve our goals. We reproach ourselves, try to understand “what we are doing wrong,” and as a result, we justify our inaction again and again
- List of excuses that hinder development
- How do you set goals? Psychological technique
Video: Excuses That Prevent You From Reaching Your Goals - Self-development
How often do we set ourselves ambitious goals in the hope of getting what we want. We make some efforts at the start, but only until the first failures appear. And immediately the motivational fuse disappears. We don't want to do anything further, let alone achieve our goals. We reproach ourselves, try to understand “what we are doing wrong,” and as a result, we justify our inaction again and again
List of excuses that hinder development
1. "There will come a bright day" tomorrow "when I will get up full of strength and ideas!"
We have been waiting for years for a good moment: morning, tomorrow, spring, summer, mortgage payments, coming home from a summer residence, going on vacation, whatever, just not to start "here and now." Unfortunately, the right moment never comes. And either you need to start now, or tomorrow it will be the same - millions of excuses and excuses.
2. "Everyone has financial opportunities, but I do not!"
These include primarily those who want to start a new direction or do what they love. They never have enough funds. They plan big investments and the more they inflate the planned budget, the less likely they will ever take action.
3. “I'm afraid! What if it doesn't work? I won't put myself together later. "
This is an amazing category of excuses - a person is not only afraid of failure, but sincerely worries about what he will do in the future, how he will live when he fails. Not just "it didn't work out", but "how will I live after that?"
4. “I am always in control. What guarantees do I have? "
In this case, a person, trying to take into account all sorts of risks, continues to be inactive again and again. So you can not get out of bed in the morning, because you can slip in the shower or you will be pushed by a passer-by - there are only "inhuman risks" around and "everything must be thought out carefully."
5. "Everyone around is successful and talented, but I can't do anything."
I would like to add: “I don’t want to study, well, I’m not talented.” An important psychological moment, we all once learned to walk, speak or write. And none of us, even the most talented, wrote a presentation in infancy. We have built-in learning skills, and we can put in the effort to learn what is truly important and valuable to us.
6. "Limiting beliefs get in the way."
Such beliefs are familiar to everyone. And for those who are not far from psychology, and for those who are happy to immerse themselves in philosophy. We all have centuries of experience "did not live richly and have nothing to start." Or "you drive quieter - you will continue." Or "no matter how long the string is, the end is visible." We choose the beliefs that hold us back and sit still. Reasoning, fearing and analyzing. We blame everything around: the revolution, dispossession, wars, parents, upbringing, childhood, in the end. Anything to justify your real inaction in the present, to be good and unhappy at the same time.
7. “This is a lofty goal! This means that it must come and be realized by itself - like manna from heaven! "
An important condition for achieving a high goal is that everything should be quick and easy. And if it takes a long time, slowly and little by little, it spoils the whole impression. And the goal is not that high. We set ourselves an impossible bar and sometimes don't even take action. It's all to blame for the lack of a clear end result. We ourselves do not know what we want. And we are definitely aware of our fears, potential failures, risks, while no work is done. And it has not even begun.
How do you set goals? Psychological technique
In order to sort things out in order, let's decide what is a high goal and how to set it so that it is achievable, and does not remain a transcendental dream or an unrealized fantasy.
Think about your goal in the terms below, ask yourself a few questions while testing how it works in practice.
1. State your goal in the affirmative
Helping question:
- What do you want? (Instead of asking what you don't want anymore.)
Watch out for words that mean negation (“not”, “stop”, “delete”, “no-”, “so as not”, etc.). Denial exists in language, but not in experience. For example: “I don’t want to feel constrained talking with the boss.” - "Okay, how do you want to feel?"
2. Monitor your goals
Helping question:
- What can you personally do?
Make sure that the implementation process is really under your personal control and depends only on you. For example: "I want to feel the boss's interest in me." - "What personally could you do to interest him?"
3. Link the target to the sensory experience
Helping question:
- What exactly will you see, hear and feel as a result of achieving your goal?
Receive sensory-based descriptions or behavioral demonstration that will let you know the goal when it has been achieved. For example: "I want to be confident in myself." - “How will you know that you have achieved your goal? Show me how you would be if you were confident?"
4. Determine the place, time and conditions for achieving the goal
Helping question:
- Where, when and with whom do you want it?
Be sure to determine for which situations the desired behavior is appropriate and appropriate, and for which it is not. For example: "I want to always defend my point of view." - “In what specific situations do you want to defend your point of view? Are there situations where this approach is not as effective?"
5. Check if the realization of the goal is important for your life
Helping question:
- How will the desired result / goal affect you?
Check if all the benefits of the present state persist after the goal is realized. For example: "I want to be independent." - "Will you lose something important, useful, becoming independent?"
6. Select the appropriate scale for generalizations
- What is most important for you in achieving your global goal?
If the goal is too global, first select one of its smaller components and work with it. For example: "I want life in the country to become better." - "The quality of life of which people care about you first?"
7. Think about the resources you need
Helping questions:
- What resources do you need to achieve the goal?
- Can you have access to them?
- How to get access to them now?
Determine the resources (internal and external) that need to be used to achieve the goal. For example: "I want to start my own business." - “What do you need to start your own business? What or who can help you?"
8. Explore possible obstacles to achieving the goal
Helping questions:
- What prevents you from starting the process of achieving the goal right now?
- What obstacles can you meet on your way?
- What can you do?
- What resources do you need to overcome these obstacles?
9. Adjustment to the future. The first steps
Define the smallest, first steps with which you will begin the process of realizing your goal, as well as the place and time when you will take these steps.
