Does A Psychologist Have To Be Kind? - Society

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

If a psychologist, advertising his services, positions himself as a "good psychologist", then how professional is it? We decided to ask this question to psychologists, the authors of Our Psychology

Vladislav Bozhedai, psychologist, editor-in-chief of the project "Our Psychology"

One of two things: either you are a good psychologist or a professional one. Will you choose a kind doctor or a professional like Dr. House?

If a psychologist positions himself as kind, in contrast to other colleagues who do not write this about themselves, then by default it is assumed that other psychologists are not very kind, but he is kindness itself.

A therapeutic attitude towards a client and a kind attitude are two big differences. A kind attitude suggests that people try to avoid sensitive, traumatic topics in their interactions. A professional, psychotherapeutic attitude assumes that the psychotherapist gropes for the client's psychotrauma and gradually, carefully works with them. A good psychotherapist will never do this. He's kind, why should he touch traumatic topics.

I am not opposing a professional psychologist and a kind person, I just want to say that these concepts are from completely different areas. It doesn't matter how kind the surgeon is, it matters how professional he is. If we talk about the kindness of a psychologist, then this is a highly specialized, professional kindness. Using the word "kind" in its common sense can only confuse understanding of the client-therapist relationship.

Sergey Kalinin, psychologist, business consultant

For a “psychologist - client” situation, kindness can be understood as a style of communication, a communicative role, a position. This can include acceptance, empathy, benevolence, lack of criticism, confrontation, etc. That is, a soft style of communication "on the positive."

But it is clear that this very communicative style may well be different - neutral-detached (as in classical psychoanalysis), directive or even provocative. At the same time, if we understand the communication style and the role of the psychologist as a professional tool (the use of which is justified by the intervention model - the purpose of the work, targets, the chosen strategy, etc.), then “kind” communication can be pleasant to the client, but less effective than “not kind."

For the psychologist himself (as for any other member of any other helping profession), “kindness” can be understood as adherence to professional ethical standards. At least "do no harm" - and then in the same spirit (in the style of the Hippocratic Oath). However, professional codes may not “contain” the whole range of ethical situations and problems that a practitioner faces. For example, Irwin Yalom in Liar on the Couch has many such hilarious examples.

If you dig deeper, you can talk about the personal worldview and values of the professional himself in the field of "person - person". I think that deep down in my heart to be a misanthrope, but at the same time to help people qualitatively (conscientiously) is an unnatural situation. In fact, this is an intrapersonal conflict between what I do and what I am doing it for.

You can, of course, “love yourself in art” (and not the clients you help), but, in my opinion, this is just a story about professional deformation. Narcissistic gurus like these will always have clients who are woozy, but will that be a real help?

Irina Solovieva, psychologist, specialist in art therapy, body-oriented psychotherapy, psychosynthesis, work with addictive behavior

Once I happened to attend a seminar of the Norwegian psychotherapist Björn Blumenthal, a student of Wilhelm Reich. And he said that kindness is a quality that is obligatory for a psychologist, psychotherapist. That is, this is a quality that is necessary a priori, as for a musician - an ear for music. Perhaps that is why the phrase "kind psychologist" always evokes an emotional reaction from the audience. As if a musician wrote about himself: "I am a musician with an ear for music." Or a poet would say about himself: "I am a poet who writes poetry."

Boris Suvorov, head of the 7Birds psychological center, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, full member of EABP, CBT

I do not agree with this comparison. Ear for music is a professional term that all professional musicians understand about the same. Kindness is a moral category that everyone interprets and understands in their own way.

Unfortunately, as a participant in some of the training seminars, I saw examples of such a humanistic sadism or sadistic humanism that it is just horror quiet. I prefer the approach of Estella Weldon, who, when asked by her colleague, "Shouldn't we love our clients?" replied, "I'm not sick enough to love my clients."

Universal love for everyone and acceptance of everyone and everything is one of the clinical manifestations of a patient with narcissism.

Irina Yapinya, Doctor of Psychology, practicing psychologist, teacher of psychology

Attention to oneself in a market economy is acquired in all possible ways. Psychological services are brought to the market for their consumption. Therefore, no matter how the psychologist calls himself: "kind", "honest", "provocative", "expensive" or something else, these are just marketing moves to advertise yourself.

And then the question arises: yourself or your services? The question is who or what we want to sell. If you yourself, then this is most likely another, non-psychological service industry. And if you have your professional skills, then, I believe, the responsibility for the choice lies with the client. Clients are literate people nowadays.

There is only one document regulating the work of a psychologist - the “Code of Honor of a Psychologist”. And there are associations that psychologists are part of. The psychologist himself and the association that adopted him is responsible for the compliance of the psychologist's activities with professional and ethical standards.