Sex And Money. Monetary And Sexual Relations Between A Man And A Woman - Relationships, Society

American researchers found that a third of girls go on dates with young people for the opportunity to eat free. In the comments to this news, many of our women write: "Everything is correct: men have grinded, so we have the right to get at least something."

Let's remember the classic "who dines a girl, he dances her." It turns out that the first part remains, and the second is under a big question: with a high probability the lady came just to eat at the expense of the gentleman.

In fact, this was the case before. The rules of the game are as follows: a man wants intimacy with a woman and seeks to get her favor: to deserve or pay. The result is what can be called a monetary-sexual relationship.

Services by price

In different genres of interaction between a man and a woman, money-sexual exchange is present in different ways. It's not even worth talking about banal prostitution: here sex is simply bought at a certain price. The widespread format of a "companion for rest" is arranged a little differently. The man pays for the trip, in return for getting "access to the body." Well, the classic of the genre: the kept mistress. The man provides the lady with the standard of living she wants, such as housing and monthly amounts.

It is a great misconception that men force women to agree to what they do not want. On dating sites, on message boards, on thematic forums, there is a huge number of ads from women who themselves want to find a sponsor lover for a trip abroad or for relationships with constant financial support.

If in these formats monetary and sexual relations appear explicitly, then in, let's say, normal love relationships they also exist, but not in such an explicit form.

Not cheap romance

The initial stage of a romantic relationship is called “candy-bouquet”, that is, a man buys and gives a woman flowers and gifts. He also takes her to theaters, concerts, exhibitions, cafes and restaurants - at his own expense, and this is considered the norm, the lady should not pay the bill. And what does the lady give to the gentleman? At this stage, usually - "thank you" and "it will be seen there." That's all for now.

I will quote a fragment of a woman's commentary, which explains the female attitude towards sex at the stage of dating and meeting: “I will reveal a terrible secret: women, except for very young and arrogant (hormonal background and childish awareness should happily converge), do not want sex for the sake of sex, rather agree to him as an attachment to something more important - because they want a family, children, keep a man they like (primarily as a person), someone solves material problems, someone careers. It's just - “I want, I can’t” - I have not heard this from women. I heard what I thought and thought and agreed. And now he is sitting, chewing, has it spoiled the romantic flair, is it not early at all?

If the man is unlucky or if he is an unimportant seducer, he can fall into this candy-bouquet phase over and over again. He will have to follow the laws of the genre every time as for the first time, because his current girlfriend does not care what he fed, watered, gave flowers, gifts and paid for the cultural and entertainment program to five more ladies before her - and she is absolutely right: “Do you want to get closer to me? Act by the rules of the game."

According to many women, one of the most unattractive traits in a man is the quality they call greed or stinginess. Moreover, if we talk about ads on dating sites, then this trait falls into the "black list" not only among women offering one form or another of monetary and sexual exchange, but also among women who are looking for serious long-term relationships. That is, many women already have a materialistic attitude that it is supposed to receive material benefits from a man.

Where the legs grow from is clear: from the past. Throughout the history of mankind, with the exception of relatively recent times, a woman did not have the opportunity to provide for herself and was dependent on a man. Therefore, the roles were assigned just like that. And although reality has already changed, attitudes and expectations have remained the same. Women who are financially independent, earning very well, still want and consider it right for a man to spend his money on them. I know a lot of cases when men suggested women to “delete” this item, but no, nobody agreed, the attitude towards monetary and sexual relations works.

I note that there are, of course, men who enjoy giving a girl flowers and gifts, fulfilling her desires, creating a beautiful life at their own expense. This is not about the fact that someone is forcing someone, but about the fact that a specific, monetary-sexual economy of relations rules the show.

At night - with my wife, at night for free

Suppose a man is lucky, the candy-bouquet period is successfully passed, and a close relationship begins. There is usually no money-sexual exchange so obviously. However, this does not mean that it does not exist at all.

In the psychologist's office, a man recounts a recent quarrel with his wife: “I refused to give my mother-in-law money to buy a new refrigerator. The wife said: "If so, then two weeks without sex!" Such sanctions … Well, about a week later I bought my mother-in-law a refrigerator.

Many years ago there was such a popular advertising slogan about sales: "Cheaper at night!" Kaveenschiki joked: "At night - with my wife, for free!" However, as we can see, this is not entirely true.

Imagine that a man comes to a psychologist-sexologist and complains that sex with his wife is becoming less and less frequent. What will the specialist ask about? “Have you given flowers for a long time? Have you been to a restaurant or theater for a long time? " In other words: do you show male attention to your wife or do you see in her only the mother of children and the housewife? What do we see here? Sex and money again - money-sexual relationship: want a cooler sex life? Invest! And it works.

Here again I will note that there are many men who enjoy spending money for the good and joy of their wife. Men's self-esteem is strengthened by the realization that “I have the opportunity to buy my wife a new car, a fur coat, three dresses at once, earrings with diamonds,” and so on. Therefore, we are not talking about coercion, but about the fact that there is a monetary-sexual component in marital relationships. Coercion may not be, but manipulation happens.

From a rational point of view, it seems that it is so dishonest and that women are well settled. But it is clear that, firstly, each side has its own arguments and no one will convince anyone. And secondly, the laws of the genre can neither be canceled nor circumvented, so it remains to accept them, adapt and, ideally, have fun