"Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Does Not Exist." When Trauma Makes It Fade - Self-development, Society

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

How can you deal with the effects of traumatic cleavage? Olga Savina, a practicing psychologist, psychotherapist, physiologist, president of the Interregional Association of Practicing Psychologists, a specialist in dealing with the consequences of traumatic experience and psychosomatics, and Maria Sergunina, a practicing psychologist, psychotherapist specializing in working with the consequences of psychological traumatization, talk about this

In the process of working with a client, a psychologist is often confronted with traumatic experiences and their consequences in everyday life. Practice shows that most people who seek psychological help come with severely neglected situations that they could not cope with in other ways. In addition, in most cases, more complex and deep psychological conflicts are hidden behind the presented request, carefully veiled by the system of psychological defense.

However, it is not in vain that the painful experience is hidden from the conscious attention of its bearer; defense mechanisms perform their tasks purposefully. The task of the psyche is to maintain its performance and stability, even at the cost of traumatic splitting.

What is traumatic cleavage?

Let's take a look at what this process is. Without going into details, we can say that in a situation of psychological shock, painful experiences that a person is unable to cope with are blocked and forced out of consciousness. Most often, such situations are associated with childhood, since during this period the human psyche is most vulnerable. And the traumatic situations themselves are associated with physical, emotional or sexual abuse and deprivation.

The phenomenon of traumatic disappearance

Within the framework of this topic, we will consider one of the phenomena of cleavage - traumatic disappearance. It can be recognized based on the phrases:

• "They don't hear me";
• “As if I’m not there”;
• "Nobody notices me";
• “All my plans remain plans”;
• “I am, but I do not manifest”;
• “I live as in a dream”;
• "There is no life, there is no movement and embodiment."

In the literature, this phenomenon is found in Virginia Satir under the name "Lost Child", in other psychologists - as "life deferred syndrome." The currently fashionable term "procrastination" also superficially reveals the essence of this phenomenon

Fear of being alive

The carriers of this type of cleavage are comfortable in life, try not to interfere with anyone, and have permeable boundaries. They resemble a child at a fancy toy store window. There are toys, they are very close, but the display glass separates them from the child. All these attractive things cannot be taken, touched by hands, used.

It would seem a normal situation, for that it is a showcase just to look. However, a similar situation occurs in the life of a girl (or boy) who essentially does not exist. There are dishes that cannot be used. There are dresses that cannot be worn. There are old things that cannot be thrown away. There are feelings that cannot be expressed. And then there's fear. Fear of manifesting, fear of being visible, fear of being discovered, fear of being alive.

Life seems to be suspended in the hope that one day, someday, maybe very soon, it will begin again. For example, when a girl receives a diploma, when she gets married, gives birth to a child, shares an apartment when her mother dies. In the meantime, she will dream, make plans, come up with new projects that will never become reality

Hiding from time trouble, she will help everyone who asks, often to the detriment of herself or not to start realizing her plans. So the girl lives outside of life and outside of time. And, once waking up, he discovers that life has passed by.

Adapt at any cost

As children, these girls tended to provide the comfort of the family system in which they grew up. They have firmly learned that the safest thing is to be undeveloped, invisible and comfortable, adapting to any society through disappearance. And for this it is important to restrain everything that can prevent it. It is on this restraint that most of the vital energy of an imperceptible person goes.

Such girls and boys of any age often come to psychotherapy on the verge of suicide, sometimes with alcohol addiction or severe psychosomatics

Traumatic splitting as a consequence of psychological trauma has long been discussed in the professional environment. However, its diagnosis and correction is still one of the most difficult topics in psychotherapeutic practice. The situation is complicated by the risk of retraumatization and powerful defense mechanisms.

The cards are in your hands

In working with traumatic experiences, psychologists, along with other methods, often use metaphorical associative cards (MAC). These are sets of illustrations, based on which the client explores his experiences and looks for a way out of the current situation through a metaphor. By analyzing his projections, the client encounters his own unconscious experience, transforms and integrates it. Despite the outward simplicity of the method, MAC allows for deep and subtle work in a psychotherapeutic format. In the hands of a professional, this is a truly effective tool for psychological assistance.

Using the MAC method, the psychologist helps the client to overcome psychological defenses quite easily and quickly focus on the actual traumatic experience.

In any case, it is up to you to decide whether to continue hiding from life, or turn to a specialist and finally remove the invisible hat

Based on the materials of the conference “Psychology of the Present. Crises and Resources"