Table of contents:
- Divorce is considered one of the most severe stressors a person can experience. Overcoming it is given equally difficult for both women and men. However, it is believed that men experience this event less and easily return to bachelorhood. And women often live through the grief of parting with tears in their eyes, in the company of sympathetic girlfriends and in prolonged depression. Is it so?
- 5 stages of mourning
- Models of inappropriate behavior
Video: 4 Models Of Inappropriate Behavior Of A Man After Divorce - Relations
Divorce is considered one of the most severe stressors a person can experience. Overcoming it is given equally difficult for both women and men. However, it is believed that men experience this event less and easily return to bachelorhood. And women often live through the grief of parting with tears in their eyes, in the company of sympathetic girlfriends and in prolonged depression. Is it so?
5 stages of mourning
To begin with, it must be said that a man experiences all stages of mourning in his own way.
The first stage is denial
Despite the fact that the man only dreamed of freedom, being married, at first he cannot believe that this really happened.
Stage two - anger
Anger at the other half, at the fate of the villain and injustice towards him. This feeling is especially often observed among those who have not yet found a mate and remain alone. Internal anger accumulates inside and can burst into unexpected places, in relationships with loved ones, colleagues at work or unfamiliar people.
Stage three - awareness and doubt
It comes when a little time passes and the passions subside. At this time, there is no contact with the annoying element, the process of realizing mistakes occurs and there is a desire to return and fix everything. But this stage is short-term, so reunification does not take place.
Stage four - getting into reality
Here and now, a man finally realizes the realities of his position. Sometimes the representatives of the stronger sex begin a prolonged depression and literally everything falls out of hand. In the event that a man has not yet acquired a new passion or does not have third-party hobbies, write wasted, he can withdraw into himself for a long time. Quite often he needs the support of a psychotherapist.
Fifth stage - acceptance
Humility and acceptance of what happened. Healing occurs when a man accepts his past and begins a new life. Past grievances have been forgotten, feelings and emotions have already dulled, there is neither anger nor irritation - neither in relation to the ex-wife, nor in relation to the divorce itself.
The sequence of stages is the same for everyone, but, passing from one to another, men sometimes do stupid things and behave rather strangely. Consider the prerequisites for inappropriate behavior after divorce.
Models of inappropriate behavior
1. Retribution and revenge
Resentment and the realization that everything is over, makes a man do everything in spite and avenge the ruined life and feelings of his ex-wife. To make her feel the same pain that he is experiencing. After all, very often each of the partners believes that the other half has already forgotten everything and lives happily, therefore, it is imperative to make the culprit of the discord more painful. He can pick up or return donated things, not respond to requests (during a divorce, people often have unfinished joint affairs), pretend that he has a new passion so that you suffer, tell nasty things and lies to your mutual acquaintances so that they feel guilty exactly you, follow you on social networks.
In some cases, men themselves do not expect such behavior from themselves, and after a while, after the passions subside, they may regret that they did not behave like a man. Talking with your ex-spouse is completely useless, any conversation or request can be perceived with hostility, and an even greater conflict will arise. Keep your distance, choose only a delicate and business tone.
2. Loss of interest in life
Of course, this is a difficult life situation that leaves an indelible mark on the life of every person. Men with a more receptive character can quit their jobs, stop taking care of themselves, cry often, stay at home, and start replacing real life with virtual.
3. The need for self-affirmation
The thought and realization that you are not bound by marriage ties inspire and give a feeling of unlimited freedom. It was during this period that a man begins to change partners with lightning speed, looking for consolation in them, and to assert himself, because his role in marriage was wounded. As a rule, nothing comes of such a relationship; men are looking only for their needs to be forgotten. But the other side does not suspect anything about it, hopes for a long relationship.
4. Desire to intimidate
In the event that there are children left during the divorce, some men may intimidate the other half by taking the child from the mother and depriving her of maternal rights. This situation is not uncommon, as is the sharp restriction of alimony. In this situation, it is important to have a sober and cold mind, do not fall for blackmail or threats. Ignore all threats, do not enter into dialogue and arguments without conflict with the annoying object. Parting must be lived through with dignity.