Table of contents:
- Imagine a picture: shop / playground / street (underline as required). A child is lying on the floor and yelling. A woman with a crimson complexion stands nearby. The well-wishers passing by (all of them Spocky and Makarenko) are in a hurry to share with her effective ways to combat childish hysteria
- An explosion of emotions
- What to do for parents
- I want a toy, buy a toy
- Calm algorithm
Video: Children's Hysteria. What To Do For Parents - Society
Imagine a picture: shop / playground / street (underline as required). A child is lying on the floor and yelling. A woman with a crimson complexion stands nearby. The well-wishers passing by (all of them Spocky and Makarenko) are in a hurry to share with her effective ways to combat childish hysteria
Like other behavioral reactions, hysteria can act as an action with a plus sign or a minus sign. Although the nervous system is established during intrauterine development, it continues to mature for a long time after birth. In childhood, she is still imperfect.
It is difficult for a child to control nervous processes: excitement prevails over inhibition. However, the nervous system during this period can use its compensatory capabilities. And when the processes of excitement have gone too far, she will come to the rescue - Sudden Children's Hysteria.
An explosion of emotions
So, we are talking about such an important function of hysteria as a mechanism for relieving nervous overexcitation. Most often, this mechanism works during periods when the child's nervous system is depleted due to stress, lack of sleep, excessive sitting in front of the TV or computer.
A prerequisite for the peak of emotional stress (hysteria) is a conflict with a parent, when the child asks for something and does not receive what he wants: either he cannot convey the meaning of his demand due to lack of speech, or he feels discomfort. Unable to cope with negative feelings, the child begins to "rock the boat" - to increase the emotional intensity.
And now he is unable to stop, hears no arguments, does not react to persuasion. The child goes into a state of extreme excitement, his reactions become aggressive, inadequate (not corresponding to the situation). As a rule, mental agitation is accompanied by physical arousal: loud exclamations turn into a sharp cry, the vertical position of the body is replaced by a horizontal one, the arms and legs are in motion (pounding on the floor). This is the climax.
It should be understood that this is how the nervous system “lets off steam,” that is, it is released, and sometimes even “overdischarged,” when at the end of the hysterics the child not only calms down, but weakens
After some short time (although to that woman with a crimson face it seems like an eternity) the child becomes more sane, he can already be lifted, taken away, he is ready to make contact. Now that the discharge has occurred, the best way to replenish the resources of the nervous system is to provide the baby with peace and sleep. At least peace. The situation can be discussed later.
What to do for parents
Let's start with what not to do. We do not scold, do not threaten, do not beg, do not demand, do not pull, do not drag, do not lift until the moment when the child is exhausted. Of course, adjusted for his safety and / or the safety of others.
What we can do? First, we must try to maintain self-control and inner calmness (we repeat to ourselves that this is not for long, it will soon pass; we breathe deeply). We protect the crying child from "well-wishers" as much as possible. Anyone. Especially zealous from those who promise to take it for themselves, give it to Baba Yaga or an evil policeman, lisp, shame, beckon with candy, and so on.
You need to try to establish physical contact with the child
Sit down next to your haunches, pat on the back, on the head. You can do this silently or quietly pronouncing gentle words. After the release takes place, help the child to get up: pick it up or just hug it. Leave the scene.
I want a toy, buy a toy
Some children use tantrum as a method of manipulation. This behavior (conditionally "whims") is difficult to distinguish from "true" hysteria. However, the trigger here is different - it is an immediate reaction to not getting what you want. The transition from ultimatum to external manifestations is rather abrupt and is completely controlled by the child.
Manipulative tantrums can be interrupted, while the child will not be emotionally devastated. If, of course, the imaginary hysteria is identified in time and does not turn into a real one
Another noticeable difference between imaginary hysteria is that the child monitors the reaction of the parents, their emotions, since they are a reflection of whether he has achieved his goal. Hysteria turns into a manipulative form when there is reinforcing behavior on the part of the parents (getting what you want). This is how the baby learns that the method works.
To distract the child and prevent the growth of emotional stress, you can do the following:
- Switch the child's attention - a bird flew by, a cat ran, but there is an interesting book on the shelf, a familiar person is walking, and so on. A win-win option is a smartphone or tablet with your favorite cartoon or song.
- Help the child to say what he is experiencing: name the feeling, describe what physical sensations it is accompanied by, suggest where it is born, pick up the opposite feeling, think of what this opposite positive feeling causes. “Are you feeling sad now? I know this feeling: it seems that there is not enough air and it stings my eyes. It is born in the chest. And everything already seems not so kind. And what helps you to see everything as kind? "
- Physical activity helps to cope well with emotional stress - you can start sports games: running, catching up, jumping. Parental reactions such as calmness, composure, equanimity, detachment act soberly on the child. You can move a little distance, not take action for contact, but be so that the child can see you.
- Another effective technique is the “unwanted / negative consequences method”. The child is deprived of some pleasures as a result of his own destructive actions: he threw himself with toys - the mother calmly collected the toys and put them away (“So you don't need them anymore, you don’t love them anymore”). The incident happened in a store - we are leaving without shopping ("It's a pity that now the family will be left without dinner, we couldn't buy food"), while not blaming the child himself. Only to make it clear that his actions led to the consequences, from which he will suffer.
Ultimately, the main thing to remember is that childish hysteria is an age-related phenomenon, which means that with age it passes, "outgrows". In the child's arsenal, more perfect and effective mechanisms of discharge appear - sports, play; control over one's emotional state increases, the ability to wait, negotiate, endure appears.